My brain always mixes up Billy Joel and Elton John, but I guess that just makes me an uptown piano man girl

just used real listerine for the first time

is this what dying feels like

Wait Joe Biden dropped out of the race????

If someone doesn’t title their Moana 2 review “Moana Mo’ Problems” I’ll have lost all faith in movie critics

Hey! So glad you reached out, I’ve actually reached my limit of human interaction for the year and will get back to you in 2025.

Thinking about the time I went on a date with somebody and she ghosted me and then I found out she had a blog where she wrote about bad dates and I didn’t even make the cut to be blogged about

I’m not gonna lie, the main thing I use Twitter for is DMing funny memes to my friends, so not having DMs over here really hurts its use case

Adding “really convincing fake smile” to my résumé

Your honor, in my client’s defense, the Mad Max: Fury Road soundtrack was playing.

um this is now *my* new favorite thing!

speared mint

breaded sticks

meated ball

soyed bean

cupped cake

flapped jack

and ofc...

the watered melon

My new favorite thing is making the first word of two word foods past tense:

clammed chowder

panned cakes

swissed cheese

hotted dog

cheesed burger

chocolated milk

ridged chips

Recording voice auditions every day for the last 8 months has given me so much more control over my voice.

Weird how doing something for hours a day makes you… like, better at it? Might have to write a book about that

Hello, world.