It was a no-brainer.

Lived in M/Isa in a new home, no central heating or phone. Family of 6, Dad had a shit job, biked to Synthite and back for all his shifts. No money, no holidays, found out recently Mum went without food to feed us. My first new clothes were my uniform in 1979. Grim.

What colour is the sky in your world?

Yes and they will laugh at your jokes. You will have to pay them and clear your internet search history afterwards.

Looking forward to seeing the Reform kneepads for sale.

We played Pheasant Plucker for the boy when he was about 12, a teacher overheard him telling his mates and he was asked to stop. I mean come on…

That John Lewis ad should have Kevin the Teenager in it, much more believable.

Is that what’s making your eyes water?

With Fergie. They were left to her in the Queen’s will.

I think I know where Bob Mortimer gets his ideas. #gonefishing