itguyA 🦋
@itguya.bsky.social
Tech, enjoy long walks on the beach and moonlit dinners
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I stole my therapist's notebook and every page is just those cool S shapes from the 90s
December 22, 2024 at 2:44 PM
I stole my therapist's notebook and every page is just those cool S shapes from the 90s
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6yo: What’s it like being a grown up?
Me: Remember when Nana gave you a birthday card with no money in it?
Me: Remember when Nana gave you a birthday card with no money in it?
December 19, 2024 at 4:50 AM
6yo: What’s it like being a grown up?
Me: Remember when Nana gave you a birthday card with no money in it?
Me: Remember when Nana gave you a birthday card with no money in it?
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What is this guy's purpose? Does he ever say or do anything?
December 18, 2024 at 5:14 PM
What is this guy's purpose? Does he ever say or do anything?
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dont forget to thank this nameless hero today
December 15, 2024 at 3:15 AM
dont forget to thank this nameless hero today
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sometimes when i go jogging i like to listen to a portable cd player so people think i’ve been running for 20 years
December 15, 2024 at 7:19 PM
sometimes when i go jogging i like to listen to a portable cd player so people think i’ve been running for 20 years
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Brussels sprouts will be 25% bigger this year, and may be sexier too
Brussels sprouts will be 25% bigger this year, and may be sexier too
Farmers say good growing conditions will result in a bumper crop, with the average sprout 30mm in diameter
Farmers are forecasting that brussels sprouts will be 25% bigger this year.
Good growing conditions, the introduction of new varieties, and a dose…
www.theguardian.com
December 15, 2024 at 2:14 PM
Brussels sprouts will be 25% bigger this year, and may be sexier too
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sure, everybody hates snake oil — until their snake starts squeaking
December 15, 2024 at 1:04 PM
sure, everybody hates snake oil — until their snake starts squeaking
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911: what is your emergency
ME: i need to listen to smooth jazz
911: hold please
ME: i need to listen to smooth jazz
911: hold please
December 11, 2024 at 10:07 PM
911: what is your emergency
ME: i need to listen to smooth jazz
911: hold please
ME: i need to listen to smooth jazz
911: hold please
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Go vote if you haven't yet
December 8, 2024 at 9:51 PM
Go vote if you haven't yet
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we need a disney princess who eats beef jerky and masturbates
December 8, 2024 at 5:49 PM
we need a disney princess who eats beef jerky and masturbates
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This is, technically, a sandwich.
December 1, 2024 at 5:51 PM
This is, technically, a sandwich.
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Every public action on Bluesky is available via a stream of events known as the firehose. By monitoring the firehose for repeated text, it is sometimes possible to quickly detect groups of spam accounts as they spawn.
December 6, 2024 at 5:08 AM
Every public action on Bluesky is available via a stream of events known as the firehose. By monitoring the firehose for repeated text, it is sometimes possible to quickly detect groups of spam accounts as they spawn.
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What Opened First in Every State Target or Walmart
December 6, 2024 at 10:57 PM
What Opened First in Every State Target or Walmart
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THEM: and then he was like “pa rum pum pum pum rum pum pum pum rum pum pum pum”
POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: how is that supposed to help me
POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: how is that supposed to help me
December 7, 2024 at 2:53 AM
THEM: and then he was like “pa rum pum pum pum rum pum pum pum rum pum pum pum”
POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: how is that supposed to help me
POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: how is that supposed to help me
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Now that white nationalist Nick Fuentes has been arrested for pepper spraying and pushing a woman down the stairs, maybe he's eligible to be nominated for something by Trump
December 7, 2024 at 1:14 AM
Now that white nationalist Nick Fuentes has been arrested for pepper spraying and pushing a woman down the stairs, maybe he's eligible to be nominated for something by Trump
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Sorry I pretended I was drowning so you could see how incredible my hair looked underwater.
November 16, 2024 at 1:09 AM
Sorry I pretended I was drowning so you could see how incredible my hair looked underwater.
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"It's for my kids," I say to the cashier bagging up the dinosaur toys, knowing full well it's for me.
December 6, 2024 at 5:03 AM
"It's for my kids," I say to the cashier bagging up the dinosaur toys, knowing full well it's for me.
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Me: I have two birds inside of me.
Doc: Swallow one stone. That oughta do it.
Doc: Swallow one stone. That oughta do it.
December 4, 2024 at 10:39 AM
Me: I have two birds inside of me.
Doc: Swallow one stone. That oughta do it.
Doc: Swallow one stone. That oughta do it.
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Pleading insanity in small claims court.
December 6, 2024 at 1:33 AM
Pleading insanity in small claims court.
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We've always been a fan of blueskies.
December 6, 2024 at 1:44 AM
We've always been a fan of blueskies.
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we have a tradition where we hold our breath when we drive through a tunnel until everyone in the car loses consciousness
December 6, 2024 at 12:59 AM
we have a tradition where we hold our breath when we drive through a tunnel until everyone in the car loses consciousness