Island President
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islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President
@islandpresident.bsky.social
15 followers 28 following 28 posts
ISLAND PRESIDENT is a webcomic about the world's dumbest egomaniac trying to survive on a desert island. Also on Instagram: @island_president
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islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 025
Island President is mansplaining to the monkey. He says, "...so what I did with my cabinet is, whatever someone does, I put them in charge of the opposite thing!" The monkey asks, "For example?" Island President continues, "Like, a dumb person would be Secretary of Education, or someone whose business wrecks the environment could be Secretary of the Interior...and like, a guy who doesn't know anything about medicine would head up the Department of Health..." The monkey has a revelation. "Oh, I get it..." he says. "...I could be Secretary of NOT Pooping in Your Ear While You Sleep!" Island President is grossed out by this thought
April 1, 2025 at 2:01 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 024
Island President, the huge moron, is surveying the island while the monkey watches. IP: "I could build a golf course right here...and I could build a hotel here, and a casino over there..." Monkey: "Or you could build a raft and get off this island." IP: "Are you kidding?" IP: "I don't know how to build for REAL!"
March 18, 2025 at 4:32 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 023
This is the 23rd Island President cartoon! He is praying and says "Okay God, level with me. I don't know what's going on back home...please tell me, has my wife moved on?" God says: "Dude, she moved on eighteen years ago when she gave birth to your youngest son, who was actually fathered by her bodyguard." Island President is shocked by this news! God says, "Oh, my bad. I thought everyone knew that."
March 11, 2025 at 3:25 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 022
I don't know that I can properly express how much this guy sucks. This might be the most "true" Island President cartoon yet: no matter what happens or what he does, how many people he bullies into kissing his ass, I can promise you that he'll never know true happiness for the rest of his life. ANYWAY: Island President says to the monkey, "I think this island is haunted." "What makes you say that?" asks the monkey. "Some people are saying there's this spooky noise coming from the beach late at night. So if you hear anything weird in the middle of the night, that's what it is. Just a very scary ghost." We cut to the following night. Island President is lying in the fetal position on the beach, sobbing: "Booooo hoo hoo...sniff...booooooo hoooo." Like I said, he sucks.
February 27, 2025 at 2:51 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 021.
And we're all caught up! New comics will appear here weekly, or follow along on Instagram: @island_president
God is talking to Island President. He says: "When you were president, you went after the trans people, the gay people, the immigrants...Didn't you ever consider HELPING any vulnerable minorities instead?" Island President is offended. He goes, "Of course I did!" "I issued an executive order naming INCELS a protected class!"
February 19, 2025 at 10:03 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 020
Island President is (yikes!) taking of his shirt. He says to the monkey, "I need you to paint my portrait." Posing bare-chested, with his pale flabby gut out for all to see, IP says "Make me look badass, like that one where I'm in a boxing ring, or like riding a tiger. Or maybe that one where I'm telling Jesus not to be so weak on crime." In the last panel, we see the monkey's painting; it's exactly the same artwork as the previous panel. Should I tell you know that seeing Island President's nipples is really disturbing? Well it is. Anyway, Island President is unhappy with this painting and he yells, "Are you kidding? This doesn't look anything like me!"
February 18, 2025 at 6:04 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 019
Okay, this one will take a little explaining. Island President is "watching" the fake TV set he built out of bamboo and coconuts. There's a bird inside it, so naturally he thinks the bird is appearing on the (non-existent) screen. Island President says, "Let's see what they're saying about me on the television today..." The bird goes, "CHEEP CHEEP." Island President is outraged and shouts, "How dare you!" while throwing his shoe at the fake TV. The bird flies away, leaving his own shoe in its place. Island President says, "What else is on? Ohh, shoes!"
February 14, 2025 at 8:27 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 018
Island President is complaining again. He's like: "The liberal media, they treated me very unfairly. They said I'm a nazi! Outrageous! I'm not a NAZI!" Then he proudly proclaims, "...I'm a nazi SYMPATHIZER." This guy sucks beyond belief.
February 13, 2025 at 4:08 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 017
Island President says: "You should've seen my inauguration! All the biggest stars were there, big stars like the VILLAGE PEOPLE and that racist country singer. And so many people! Everyone says it was the biggest crowd ever." He concludes by adding, "Not too bad for a guy who hasn't been able to get an erection in thirty years, huh?"
February 12, 2025 at 7:49 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 016
How stupid is this guy? Island President shows off his latest creation to the monkey, saying "Look! I build a television set out of coconuts and bamboo! I learned this on 'Gilligan's Island.'" It's not a TV set, it's just a box with some fake knobs and stuff. The back is open. The monkey says, "I don't know what that is." IP plugs the cord (a vine) into a knothole on a nearby tree. When he looks back at the set, there's an island fox poking his head into the box so it looks like he's on the "screen." Island President, moron that he is, considers this a success. He happily exclaims, "Fox News!"
February 11, 2025 at 4:23 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 015
Ok, this is the Christmas one. Island President is sitting on the beach at night and he hears sleigh bells. He sees santa and the reindeer flying overhead and he's like "Santa Claus! It must be Christmas!" Then there's a present on the beach. IP is excited. "GASP! A present! For me?" He opens it and there's just a note inside that says "YOU STINK." Island President is not happy about that.
February 10, 2025 at 3:20 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 014
Island President goes, "I'm leaving this dump!" The monkey goes, "Ok." Then Island President is all, "See, I heard about this guy Jesus Christ, and he could walk on water and he wasn't even president of the U.S.!" Island President starts to walk into the ocean. He goes, "Anything Jesus can do, I can do twice as good! Later, sucker!" Then a minute later, he's walking back onto the island with a big shark chomping on his fat ass. Island President goes, "Don't ask."
February 7, 2025 at 2:11 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 013
Island President is laying on the sand like a fat beached whale. The monkey asks, "What are you doing?" IP says: "Can't move. I need to save my energy! You see, the human body is like a battery; it only contains a finite amount of energy and when you use it all up, you're done!" The monkey says, "Well, I'm a monkey...and even I know that's some crazy bullshit."
February 6, 2025 at 5:03 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 012
Okay, this is another good one. A castaway in torn clothes and a "MAGA" ball cap has washed up on the beach. He says "Land at last! I've been lost at sea for months. I never thought I'd see another person again." In the next panel he's kissing Island President's ring and saying, "And...it's you! Mister President, you're my hero! I bought all your merchandise! I voted for you nine times!" Island President gets that real dumb grin on his face--you've seen it in pictures before--and pats the dude on the back, saying "Believe me, friend, I'm glad to see you, too!" In the final panel we see that Island President has murdered the new castaway and is eating his leg to survive. (FUN FACT: I considered showing the new guy being cooked over a fire but there is no way a huge dum-dum like Island President would know how to build one)
February 5, 2025 at 2:17 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 011
Island President walks by, proclaiming "Lock up all the immigrants!" The monkey points out, "You're the immigrant HERE." IP looks thoughtful (well, for him, anyway), and notes "Hmm...I never looked at it that way," before adding, "...and I don't plan to!" What a schmuck.
January 31, 2025 at 3:01 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 010
It's night, and Island President and the monkey are sitting on the shore, talking. Island President says: "I miss my hat. 'Make America Great,' it said, and boy I sure did. It's so great now. Everyone agrees how great I made it." The monkey responds, "By leaving?"
January 30, 2025 at 6:18 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 009
Island President is back at it, praying again to an unseen God. IP says: "Oh God, it's me again, your complete equal. You have been very mean to me, keeping me on this you-forsaken island for so long. What did I do to deserve this?" There's a pause, and God's voice from heaven above says, "You're kidding, right?"
January 29, 2025 at 2:26 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 008. The new strips appear weekly on Instagram; I'm posting the old ones here each weekday until they catch up.
Island President #008: Island President and the monkey are sitting against a log during a rain storm. In panel two, a gust of wind blows Island President's wig off his head (despite what you may have heard, Island President DEFINITELY wears a wig). He disappears off-panel for a moment then reappears, putting the wig back in place. MONKEY: Climate change. ISLAND PRESIDENT: Shut up.
January 28, 2025 at 3:32 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 007
Oh, this is another good one. Island president sees a bottle washed up on the shore and he exclaims, "a bottle!" then he's like "I'll put a message inside and throw it back, then when someone finds it they'll send help and I'll finally be saved." He casts his message out to sea, saying "Boy, I'm such a genius!" In the last panel, we see like a Norwegian fisherman or something, miles away, it's night and there are icebergs around him. He has pulled the bottle from the ocean and is reading Island President's note, which reads: "OBAMA SUX"
January 27, 2025 at 5:01 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 006
Oh boy, this is a good one. Island president is despairing: "How can I survive with no fresh water anywhere on this island?" he asks. "Looks like I, the president of the United States, will have to drink my own urine. Here goes..." Now there's a gross panel where he's slurping the pee out of his hands. He looks like a total idiot and there's bright yellow piss all over his mouth and stuff. Then he sees a camera hidden in the bushes, filming him. The side of the camera reads "Property of V. Putin" and Island President exclaims: "Not again!!!"
January 24, 2025 at 6:34 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 005
Island president is lying on the beach, looking miserable (as always). He says: "Ooh, this is terrible! What's that thing those suckers do when they want something? Pray!" So he prays: "Dear, uh...hello, whoever. It's me, the president. I'm asking you to get me off this island and back to U.S.A. where I can continue to rule." God's all like, "NO"
January 23, 2025 at 5:40 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 004
Island President is making hashmarks on a big rock, and he sighs. The monkey asks "What's wrong?" ISLAND PRESIDENT: I make a mark on this rock for each day I'm stuck on this island. MONKEY: That's a good way to track the passage of time. ISLAND PRESIDENT: Yeah, except... ISLAND PRESIDENT: ...I don't know how to count! The monkey falls over backwards, unable to believe how utterly stupid Island President is.
January 21, 2025 at 7:59 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President 003
Island President looks wistfully towards the ocean. He says "So I'm stranded on this island and no one knows where I am! I'm sick of this! I don't want to sit around and feel sorry for myself!" Then there's a close up where he looks like a huge loser baby and he adds "I want my FOLLOWERS to feel sorry for me!"
January 20, 2025 at 7:43 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President #002
Island president says to the monkey: "How long have I been here? I'm so hungry. Everything I see looks just like a delicious juicy hamberder." Like in old-time cartoons, he sees the monkey as an actual hamburger now. He then asks "Does that ever happen to you?" It changes to the monkey's point of view. He sees Island President as a gross pile of feces and says "Not exactly."
January 20, 2025 at 7:41 PM
islandpresident.bsky.social
Island President #001
Island President says to his monkey companion: "What a turn of events! My plane went down in the middle of the ocean...Now I'm stranded on this desert island, no food, no water, no hope of rescue...And my only friend is this monkey!" The monkey replies, "I'm not your friend." Island President appears surprised by this.
January 20, 2025 at 7:39 PM