💯

And when ppl act like the apology they begrudgingly gave after an extended refusal to even acknowledge harm is the gift…

And when they start acting like the expectation of accountability is the true harm that is happening to them…

All that’s left: believe them when they tell you who they are.

Maybe there’s an opportunity to be curious and sit with the part of you that finds this act of boundary setting painful.

That part has an unmet need they are patiently waiting for you to address.

Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab helped me w/ the inner convo for boundary setting.

You can’t keep yourself hostage by trying to get them to be okay w/ not having access to you.

It is a loss for them. That doesn’t make you an evil person. It makes you a human being w/ natural limits, just like them.

If anything, how they respond is data abt how much they care abt you.

You are communicating that & have no control over how they interpret their loss of access to you. Thats about them.

The only way through is to soothe yourself through the discomfort of setting of that boundary & giving yourself the empathy you were pouring into that other person.

This is so funny and also so not surprising. A tinge disappointing, but this is the type of advance notice that will strengthen my resolve to keep going when I inevitably have my one-sided screaming matches with the pages of a book. So, thanks 🙏🏿!

Don’t know what that is but can’t wait to meet this character… and to get lost in the world of all the theories of things. That’s where all the fun is!

Lols thanks for answering this question. The names are too much for me to follow bc I’m more of a visual processor. So I’m enjoying the ride now & just gonna wait till I read the books to know all the names.

Also, my inner Black auntie is peaking through w/ these nicknames & I’m kind of loving it.

I’m excited for it! I trust the writer’s room and what they’ve done so far. I know I might not smile the whole time, but I think I’ll enjoy the journey.