Human Hyperbole
@humanhyperbole.bsky.social
Dude with some cold to room temperature takes in the Boston area.
I'm convinced the retirement aged people who jog/speed-walk through random office parks all have some type of exhibitionism fetish or something.
Or they just get off on mildly inconveniencing people who need to work for a living.
Or they just get off on mildly inconveniencing people who need to work for a living.
October 7, 2025 at 6:23 PM
I'm convinced the retirement aged people who jog/speed-walk through random office parks all have some type of exhibitionism fetish or something.
Or they just get off on mildly inconveniencing people who need to work for a living.
Or they just get off on mildly inconveniencing people who need to work for a living.
My conspiracy theory is that most lower-body stretches were designed by aliens who do not know 50% of the population has external genitalia.
September 29, 2025 at 11:57 PM
My conspiracy theory is that most lower-body stretches were designed by aliens who do not know 50% of the population has external genitalia.
All those folks talking about the rapture tomorrow are gonna show up for work Wednesday like they ain't said shit.
September 22, 2025 at 11:11 PM
All those folks talking about the rapture tomorrow are gonna show up for work Wednesday like they ain't said shit.
Imagine the alternate timeline where a senile Biden is threatening people with terrorism charges for making jokes about the Sundance Kid dying.
Thank god we don't have to deal with anything like that.
Thank god we don't have to deal with anything like that.
September 16, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Imagine the alternate timeline where a senile Biden is threatening people with terrorism charges for making jokes about the Sundance Kid dying.
Thank god we don't have to deal with anything like that.
Thank god we don't have to deal with anything like that.
Me, now, my eyes rolling:
"Okay Dad, thanks for the random detailed update about patching that air mattress I forgot I left there in 2017."
Me in maybe 5 years:
"So, niece/nephew/gender non confirming nibling, I found that old laptop of yours and got it running again with a light Linux distro..."
"Okay Dad, thanks for the random detailed update about patching that air mattress I forgot I left there in 2017."
Me in maybe 5 years:
"So, niece/nephew/gender non confirming nibling, I found that old laptop of yours and got it running again with a light Linux distro..."
September 9, 2025 at 3:26 PM
Me, now, my eyes rolling:
"Okay Dad, thanks for the random detailed update about patching that air mattress I forgot I left there in 2017."
Me in maybe 5 years:
"So, niece/nephew/gender non confirming nibling, I found that old laptop of yours and got it running again with a light Linux distro..."
"Okay Dad, thanks for the random detailed update about patching that air mattress I forgot I left there in 2017."
Me in maybe 5 years:
"So, niece/nephew/gender non confirming nibling, I found that old laptop of yours and got it running again with a light Linux distro..."
Online conservatives in 2015:
I don't hate anyone but marriage is between one man, and one woman.
Online conservatives in 2025:
I hate everyone except a vague group of European descendants but don't pin me down. And marriage is between one man, and one LLM with an underage Japanese girl avatar.
I don't hate anyone but marriage is between one man, and one woman.
Online conservatives in 2025:
I hate everyone except a vague group of European descendants but don't pin me down. And marriage is between one man, and one LLM with an underage Japanese girl avatar.
August 19, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Online conservatives in 2015:
I don't hate anyone but marriage is between one man, and one woman.
Online conservatives in 2025:
I hate everyone except a vague group of European descendants but don't pin me down. And marriage is between one man, and one LLM with an underage Japanese girl avatar.
I don't hate anyone but marriage is between one man, and one woman.
Online conservatives in 2025:
I hate everyone except a vague group of European descendants but don't pin me down. And marriage is between one man, and one LLM with an underage Japanese girl avatar.
Made the mistake of going into the comments section of my city's subreddit.
Anyone who didn't have a moral panic attitude about a dude what saw a needle was getting down voted into oblivion.
Anyone who didn't have a moral panic attitude about a dude what saw a needle was getting down voted into oblivion.
July 22, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Made the mistake of going into the comments section of my city's subreddit.
Anyone who didn't have a moral panic attitude about a dude what saw a needle was getting down voted into oblivion.
Anyone who didn't have a moral panic attitude about a dude what saw a needle was getting down voted into oblivion.
Remember those little circular banners on Facebook? Like: "I got vaccinated!"
Yeah, we need to bring those back, except it says:
"If you post, or send me, AI slop, I will slap you in the fucking mouth."
Yeah, we need to bring those back, except it says:
"If you post, or send me, AI slop, I will slap you in the fucking mouth."
June 24, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Remember those little circular banners on Facebook? Like: "I got vaccinated!"
Yeah, we need to bring those back, except it says:
"If you post, or send me, AI slop, I will slap you in the fucking mouth."
Yeah, we need to bring those back, except it says:
"If you post, or send me, AI slop, I will slap you in the fucking mouth."
2am
You: Asleep. Untroubled.
Me:
"What happens when the guy I ordered dinner from leaves, then another dude takes over. Who gets my tip? Do I kinda owe him a couple bucks for that dark and stormy? Am I bad leftist?"
You: Asleep. Untroubled.
Me:
"What happens when the guy I ordered dinner from leaves, then another dude takes over. Who gets my tip? Do I kinda owe him a couple bucks for that dark and stormy? Am I bad leftist?"
June 5, 2025 at 3:03 AM
2am
You: Asleep. Untroubled.
Me:
"What happens when the guy I ordered dinner from leaves, then another dude takes over. Who gets my tip? Do I kinda owe him a couple bucks for that dark and stormy? Am I bad leftist?"
You: Asleep. Untroubled.
Me:
"What happens when the guy I ordered dinner from leaves, then another dude takes over. Who gets my tip? Do I kinda owe him a couple bucks for that dark and stormy? Am I bad leftist?"
Why is Facebook...?
June 3, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Why is Facebook...?
My exercise app letting me download my workouts into a CSV ironically stalled my workout pretty bad today.
My level of neurodivergence means I had to find out exactly how much I could mathematically justify a bonus upper body workout every week.
My level of neurodivergence means I had to find out exactly how much I could mathematically justify a bonus upper body workout every week.
May 24, 2025 at 11:12 PM
My exercise app letting me download my workouts into a CSV ironically stalled my workout pretty bad today.
My level of neurodivergence means I had to find out exactly how much I could mathematically justify a bonus upper body workout every week.
My level of neurodivergence means I had to find out exactly how much I could mathematically justify a bonus upper body workout every week.
I think they missed an opportunity with From The Wold of John Wick: Ballerina to really drive home how much buyer's remorse they had on the name of such a male-oriented film and could have called it
From the World of John Wick: John Wick Presents The Ballerina (And John Wick. He's in this too.)
From the World of John Wick: John Wick Presents The Ballerina (And John Wick. He's in this too.)
May 12, 2025 at 9:10 PM
I think they missed an opportunity with From The Wold of John Wick: Ballerina to really drive home how much buyer's remorse they had on the name of such a male-oriented film and could have called it
From the World of John Wick: John Wick Presents The Ballerina (And John Wick. He's in this too.)
From the World of John Wick: John Wick Presents The Ballerina (And John Wick. He's in this too.)
Wishing a peaceful retirement to my GTX 1080. She lasted 6 years and 2 jobs, and 2 apartments.
The screen stutter was getting to be too much.
Pour one out for a PC gamer's best friend.
The screen stutter was getting to be too much.
Pour one out for a PC gamer's best friend.
April 13, 2025 at 1:25 AM
Wishing a peaceful retirement to my GTX 1080. She lasted 6 years and 2 jobs, and 2 apartments.
The screen stutter was getting to be too much.
Pour one out for a PC gamer's best friend.
The screen stutter was getting to be too much.
Pour one out for a PC gamer's best friend.
A couple of young men asked me and my friend, 39 and 40, for advice as 26 year old young men. Seeking our elder knowledge and/or a way into my friend's pants I answered on behalf of the millennials entering middle age:
- Hydrate.
- Moisturize.
- Wash your ass.
- Hydrate.
- Moisturize.
- Wash your ass.
March 30, 2025 at 4:47 PM
A couple of young men asked me and my friend, 39 and 40, for advice as 26 year old young men. Seeking our elder knowledge and/or a way into my friend's pants I answered on behalf of the millennials entering middle age:
- Hydrate.
- Moisturize.
- Wash your ass.
- Hydrate.
- Moisturize.
- Wash your ass.
Basically the entire office staff of the construction company I work for got laid off today.
I feel like I'm personally a tariff canary in the economic coal mine.
I feel like I'm personally a tariff canary in the economic coal mine.
March 28, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Basically the entire office staff of the construction company I work for got laid off today.
I feel like I'm personally a tariff canary in the economic coal mine.
I feel like I'm personally a tariff canary in the economic coal mine.
Every straight man in Boston under the age of 35 needs a gambling intervention.
March 22, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Every straight man in Boston under the age of 35 needs a gambling intervention.
Generating code is one of the best real world applications of machine learning and this is a recurring problem.
It's demonstrative of how unpredictable machine learning programs are, and how their inner machinations are obscure even to those building and maintaining them.
It's demonstrative of how unpredictable machine learning programs are, and how their inner machinations are obscure even to those building and maintaining them.
AI coding assistant refuses to write code, tells user to learn programming instead
Cursor AI tells user, “I cannot generate code for you, as that would be completing your work.”…
arstechnica.com
March 14, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Generating code is one of the best real world applications of machine learning and this is a recurring problem.
It's demonstrative of how unpredictable machine learning programs are, and how their inner machinations are obscure even to those building and maintaining them.
It's demonstrative of how unpredictable machine learning programs are, and how their inner machinations are obscure even to those building and maintaining them.
The internet makes all discourse turn into a race to be the best at conforming to an unclear Orthodoxy that The Snyder Cut of Justice League fans have basically become Q anon.
Like Q anon, they both got what they wanted and mostly just make life hell for everyone else now.
Like Q anon, they both got what they wanted and mostly just make life hell for everyone else now.
March 12, 2025 at 4:45 PM
The internet makes all discourse turn into a race to be the best at conforming to an unclear Orthodoxy that The Snyder Cut of Justice League fans have basically become Q anon.
Like Q anon, they both got what they wanted and mostly just make life hell for everyone else now.
Like Q anon, they both got what they wanted and mostly just make life hell for everyone else now.
Real things I had to say to people when I worked in customer service:
"No, I am not going to be giving you a refund because the next step after someone threatens to kill me and my coworkers is: call the police... Yes I can hold."
"No, I am not going to be giving you a refund because the next step after someone threatens to kill me and my coworkers is: call the police... Yes I can hold."
March 12, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Real things I had to say to people when I worked in customer service:
"No, I am not going to be giving you a refund because the next step after someone threatens to kill me and my coworkers is: call the police... Yes I can hold."
"No, I am not going to be giving you a refund because the next step after someone threatens to kill me and my coworkers is: call the police... Yes I can hold."
When my friends are mad I'm taking too long to roll the joint:
February 26, 2025 at 2:09 AM
When my friends are mad I'm taking too long to roll the joint:
I'll miss the TikTok lapel mic street interview bros the least.
January 16, 2025 at 3:14 PM
I'll miss the TikTok lapel mic street interview bros the least.
Dating apps bidding me adieu knowing full well I'll be back the next time I'm hammered.
a man with a beard is making a funny face while wearing headphones and a black shirt .
ALT: a man with a beard is making a funny face while wearing headphones and a black shirt .
media.tenor.com
January 14, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Dating apps bidding me adieu knowing full well I'll be back the next time I'm hammered.
House Democrats have again been spotted recruiting candidates for office after recent losses but have come up empty handed.
They've searched every senior community and hospice center in the country.
They've searched every senior community and hospice center in the country.
December 18, 2024 at 2:42 PM
House Democrats have again been spotted recruiting candidates for office after recent losses but have come up empty handed.
They've searched every senior community and hospice center in the country.
They've searched every senior community and hospice center in the country.
