yeah true, but i don't live like you freaks

I think these new meds aren't working.

I had a list of things I wanted to do today before work but now I've emotionally exhausted myself and created a bunch more new jobs for me to do

I then look around my bedroom, I've torn it apart in pursuit of a small ring of silver wire.

once I've somewhat calmed down, I go back to my room to look, about 5 minutes pass before i find the little pouch, sat on top of one of the speakers for my stereo, the weight lifts from my shoulders slightly as i go and sit on my bed to put in my earring

I go over to the bathroom to try and calm myself down attracting the attention of my partner and my mum, who both try to comfort me as I try and explain what's wrong, something that I'm too overwhelmed to do efficiently

I look everywhere for this pouch, getting more and more upset, overwhelmed, and frustrated as I do so. yelling and crying and occasionally throwing non-fragile things in hope of some sort of catharsis

said earring normally lives in a little pouch of some other silver earrings of the same size and that whole pouch is missing so I assume its in there, I just have to find the pouch

no luck for the first little while until I find the box I was looking for on top of my dresser

I have a little sigh of relief until I open the box and the earring I was looking for is nowhere to be found

BOY WAS I WRONG!

said box was nowhere to be found, so I start to look for it, going through all the other places that I think it might be

my earrings and jewelery do have a place that they live in one spot in my room, so of course my first reaction was to look there. I'm getting a bit overwhelmed and annoyed with myself but I know what box these earrings normally live in so I think "oh it's fine, I know where they are"

I mean it, I only broke one earring.

but I've always worn mismatched earrings so I knew I had another small silver hoop somewhere I could put in - I just had to find it

as I try to put that one in it breaks, this earring has fallen apart before so I think "no bother, I'll just fix it again"

except i break them further.

I thought "ah nevermind, there's been some others I've wanted to try, I'll put one of those in for now", so I put one of the new ones in and then go to put in the other ear as it was before - a small silver hoop

I took my earrings out to clean them and as I went to put them back in I realised one was missing

today was meant to be a chill but productive day, but now it's not because I just wanted to properly clean my earrings

:)

sweetcorn on pizza is excellent and i shan't hear a bad word about it, the hot dog was a curveball though ngl