Hilary Tamar
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Hilary Tamar
@hilarytamar.bsky.social
dyke. lapsed academic philosopher. far, far too fond of epistolary novels.
I am being completely normal about this.
November 27, 2025 at 1:16 AM
I've finished my conversion essays for my beit din!!!!

19 pages/7500 words/5 footnotes, but it's all in labeled sections so they can pick out just a few pages to ask about.

That was the last work before The Day! For the first time in a year I am free of academic-adjacent responsibilities.
kermit the frog is standing in front of a red curtain on a stage .
Alt: Kermit the frog is standing in front of a red curtain flailing his arms wildly.
media.tenor.com
November 24, 2025 at 10:27 PM
A millennia-old tradition of textual transmission and I am Contributing My Piece.
Achievement unlocked: reported a typo to Sefaria.

(Sefaria is the primary online library of Torah-related texts and commentaries, and there’s a tiny typo in the English translation of the apocryphal Book of Judith.) www.sefaria.org/Book_of_Judith.1.8?lang=bi&with=all&lang2=eng
Book of Judith 1:8
And Nebuchadnezzar the King of Assyria sent emmisaries to call the inhabitants of Persia, and to all those who dwell in the west, which consisted of: Cilicia,...
www.sefaria.org
November 18, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Achievement unlocked: reported a typo to Sefaria.

(Sefaria is the primary online library of Torah-related texts and commentaries, and there’s a tiny typo in the English translation of the apocryphal Book of Judith.) www.sefaria.org/Book_of_Judith.1.8?lang=bi&with=all&lang2=eng
Book of Judith 1:8
And Nebuchadnezzar the King of Assyria sent emmisaries to call the inhabitants of Persia, and to all those who dwell in the west, which consisted of: Cilicia,...
www.sefaria.org
November 18, 2025 at 6:57 PM
I’ve been waved off “Shalhevet” by two trusted rabbis and I’m now into “Final-RevisedFinal-ReallyFinal.doc” territory here as far as names go. Current thought is Rina Yehudit but also I’m >thisclose< to picking out of a hat labeled “All The Names Kate Can Pronounce”.
November 16, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Met with the rabbi today and among other things I committed to the conversion name Shalhevet Rina, meaning ‘flame’ and ‘joy’. Woo hoo!
November 7, 2025 at 12:05 AM
I’m suddenly host to incredibly chaotic pre-conversion emotions, and friends, it is A Lot. I’m ricocheting from glee to overwhelmed sobbing to feeling irreparably unworthy to contentment, and I’m going to burn out my brain if this keeps up for another month.
November 4, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Reposted by Hilary Tamar
Want to make sure this letter arrives at the right place.
October 30, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Hooray, I’m well enough to go to morning minyan again!

Which I get to by walking, and it’s supposed to pour tomorrow morning.

Seriously contemplating trying to uber there. I’m sure I can find a driver willing to take me <1 mile down the road at 7am. I foresee no possible issue here. 🤦🏻‍♀️
October 29, 2025 at 11:27 PM
New conversion name stress-testing:

Rina

Means “joy”. Any red flags pop-culture wise? Does it sound dated? Unfortunate in another language? Generally unpleasant? Anything worse than “meh, why not”?
October 28, 2025 at 3:59 PM
Aargh I am ready for this cold to be over but I expect to be symptomatic/contagious until at least Thursday. Do not forget to wear masks in even small classes, is the lesson I’m getting here, especially since that’ll make you miss the next two classes.
October 28, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Another, more insistent, sore throat. I’m thinking maybe sitting next to a lit candle for a few hours over the past day and a half was probably involved? Aargh.

Why does nobody around me get maybe!COVID at my rate? Stupid fickle immune system.
October 24, 2025 at 12:25 PM
The rabbi says we should schedule my conversion for early December! Yaaaaaay!!
Ok brain, we are NOT doing this. We are not ruining a perfectly fine evening with groundless worries about tomorrow’s meeting with the rabbi. Instead we’re going to pet the cat and find a comfort read. Yes? Yes.
October 22, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Reposted by Hilary Tamar
To exist until my benefits are transferred — I.e., buy food and afford gas to get to medical appointments 2 hours away — I need to raise at least $1000 more. I’m sorry. Please share?

gofund.me/72b6e44c8
Donate to Quiara Needs Your Help to Relocate, organized by Quiara Hazlewood
I'm Quiara, a disabled, queer, nonbinary person living in the Deep South. The pers… Quiara Hazlewood needs your support for Quiara Needs Your Help to Relocate
gofund.me
October 20, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Ok brain, we are NOT doing this. We are not ruining a perfectly fine evening with groundless worries about tomorrow’s meeting with the rabbi. Instead we’re going to pet the cat and find a comfort read. Yes? Yes.
October 21, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Have I just picked a conversion name because the corresponding gmail address was still available? Maaaaaybe.
October 21, 2025 at 1:53 AM
I finished the last of my conversion essays* yesterday and I’ve mostly been sleeping since. I think the past few months were a lot more stressful than I’d realized.

*still have to discuss with the rabbi then wrestle them into a short statement for the beit din but the hard thinking is done
October 20, 2025 at 7:06 PM
I have been gently reminded that allergies can (a) develop and (b) vary in intensity across even short periods of time.

My verdict therefore is a new fall allergy flaring up and breaking through the usual antihistamine regimen.

Apologies for the panic and thanks for the advice.
Sore throat/congestion in ?July/Aug, COVID vx early Sep, sore throat for 18 hours late Sep, sore throat and dry eyes for a few hours and counting today: these cannot all be COVID or the same cold (RATs all neg anyway) so wtaf? Random allergy? Temporary weirdness in the HVAC system? W h a t?? Aargh.
October 16, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Tbc I’m pretty sure the first incident was in fact COVID; it’s these other ones that confuse me.

But! A friend has suggested that perhaps people in the building have started turning their heat on as we get cold snaps, which might affect my apartment. Not implausible? Maybe?
Sore throat/congestion in ?July/Aug, COVID vx early Sep, sore throat for 18 hours late Sep, sore throat and dry eyes for a few hours and counting today: these cannot all be COVID or the same cold (RATs all neg anyway) so wtaf? Random allergy? Temporary weirdness in the HVAC system? W h a t?? Aargh.
October 16, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Sore throat/congestion in ?July/Aug, COVID vx early Sep, sore throat for 18 hours late Sep, sore throat and dry eyes for a few hours and counting today: these cannot all be COVID or the same cold (RATs all neg anyway) so wtaf? Random allergy? Temporary weirdness in the HVAC system? W h a t?? Aargh.
October 16, 2025 at 4:15 PM
Going with mismatched creams and hoping nobody’s insulted. 🤞🏻
Aaaaaaaaaa I thought I had it sorted but apparently I have no suitable white clothes for shul tonight/tomorrow. The shirts that aren’t translucent without the camisole I lack turn out to show through the white pants, and the off-white pants are either too tight or too informal. I have 4 hours left.
October 1, 2025 at 9:23 PM
And now I’m questioning if I should be there at all: holiest day of the Jewish calendar but, like, I’m not Jewish (yet)? Surely it’s not my place to be there?

(Pretty sure this isn’t true & somebody would have waved me off, but I’m gonna be extra-conflicted about the “we”s in the prayers.)
Aaaaaaaaaa I thought I had it sorted but apparently I have no suitable white clothes for shul tonight/tomorrow. The shirts that aren’t translucent without the camisole I lack turn out to show through the white pants, and the off-white pants are either too tight or too informal. I have 4 hours left.
October 1, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Reposted by Hilary Tamar
A reminder that if you're not able to fast on Yom Kippur for any reason -- and mental health is a health reason -- it's regarded as a MITZVAH to eat.

Resources and more here:
Home | A Mitzvah to Eat
At A Mitzvah to Eat, we empower Jews needing ritual accommodations to safely connect to sacred Jewish practice and community. We provide resources, support, and advocacy for these Jews, as well as the...
www.amitzvahtoeat.org
October 1, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Aaaaaaaaaa I thought I had it sorted but apparently I have no suitable white clothes for shul tonight/tomorrow. The shirts that aren’t translucent without the camisole I lack turn out to show through the white pants, and the off-white pants are either too tight or too informal. I have 4 hours left.
October 1, 2025 at 5:56 PM
I miss grown-ups.
Hegseth: "We unleash overwhelming and punishing violence on the enemy. We also don't fight with stupid rules of engagement. We untie the hands of our warfighters to intimidate, demoralize, hunt, and kill the enemies of our country. No more politically correct and overbearing rules of engagement."
September 30, 2025 at 3:39 PM