Rev. Crystal Varner Parker
@hebrewdawn.bsky.social
Lifelong RVA | mixed JA + NA | PCUSA pastor
writer: HebrewDawn, The91Rewind, The RVA Mom
polyglot | word nerd | book dragon
known to preach , keynote, & lead workshops
writer: HebrewDawn, The91Rewind, The RVA Mom
polyglot | word nerd | book dragon
known to preach , keynote, & lead workshops
Dear Siri,
You have failed this #JapaneseAmerican family.
No, we do not want “fur cocktail” or “fruitcake,” but we would like furkikake on our shopping list.
You have failed this #JapaneseAmerican family.
No, we do not want “fur cocktail” or “fruitcake,” but we would like furkikake on our shopping list.
November 15, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Dear Siri,
You have failed this #JapaneseAmerican family.
No, we do not want “fur cocktail” or “fruitcake,” but we would like furkikake on our shopping list.
You have failed this #JapaneseAmerican family.
No, we do not want “fur cocktail” or “fruitcake,” but we would like furkikake on our shopping list.
Reposted by Rev. Crystal Varner Parker
Reminder: In Virginia, you can register to vote on Election Day through same-day voter registration. This lets you register in person and cast a provisional ballot if you missed the regular registration deadline. Your vote will be counted once eligibility is confirmed, so don’t sit this one out!
November 4, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Reminder: In Virginia, you can register to vote on Election Day through same-day voter registration. This lets you register in person and cast a provisional ballot if you missed the regular registration deadline. Your vote will be counted once eligibility is confirmed, so don’t sit this one out!
Hey!
Yes, I’m talk to you.
🇺🇸 G O V O T E ! 🗳️
Yes, I’m talk to you.
🇺🇸 G O V O T E ! 🗳️
November 4, 2025 at 3:33 PM
Hey!
Yes, I’m talk to you.
🇺🇸 G O V O T E ! 🗳️
Yes, I’m talk to you.
🇺🇸 G O V O T E ! 🗳️
Dear #apple autocorrect,
I do in fact mean pericope NOT periscope.
Sincerely,
CVP
@pcusa.bsky.social Minster of Word and Sacrament
I do in fact mean pericope NOT periscope.
Sincerely,
CVP
@pcusa.bsky.social Minster of Word and Sacrament
October 28, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Dear #apple autocorrect,
I do in fact mean pericope NOT periscope.
Sincerely,
CVP
@pcusa.bsky.social Minster of Word and Sacrament
I do in fact mean pericope NOT periscope.
Sincerely,
CVP
@pcusa.bsky.social Minster of Word and Sacrament
The youngest has entered the chat #NFL…
Yesterday’s game was played between the @wshcommanders.bsky.social and the lightning bolt rainbows. ⚡️🌈🤣
Sorry not sorry, @chargers.bsky.social, for the Commanders win or the new name.
Yesterday’s game was played between the @wshcommanders.bsky.social and the lightning bolt rainbows. ⚡️🌈🤣
Sorry not sorry, @chargers.bsky.social, for the Commanders win or the new name.
The oldest is at it again @nflscores.bsky.social…
Tonight’s game is being played between the Seattle falcons and the Arizona robins. 😂
Sorry not sorry, #seattleseahawks and #arizoncardinals
Tonight’s game is being played between the Seattle falcons and the Arizona robins. 😂
Sorry not sorry, #seattleseahawks and #arizoncardinals
October 6, 2025 at 11:15 AM
The youngest has entered the chat #NFL…
Yesterday’s game was played between the @wshcommanders.bsky.social and the lightning bolt rainbows. ⚡️🌈🤣
Sorry not sorry, @chargers.bsky.social, for the Commanders win or the new name.
Yesterday’s game was played between the @wshcommanders.bsky.social and the lightning bolt rainbows. ⚡️🌈🤣
Sorry not sorry, @chargers.bsky.social, for the Commanders win or the new name.
The oldest is at it again @nflscores.bsky.social…
Tonight’s game is being played between the Seattle falcons and the Arizona robins. 😂
Sorry not sorry, #seattleseahawks and #arizoncardinals
Tonight’s game is being played between the Seattle falcons and the Arizona robins. 😂
Sorry not sorry, #seattleseahawks and #arizoncardinals
September 26, 2025 at 1:02 AM
The oldest is at it again @nflscores.bsky.social…
Tonight’s game is being played between the Seattle falcons and the Arizona robins. 😂
Sorry not sorry, #seattleseahawks and #arizoncardinals
Tonight’s game is being played between the Seattle falcons and the Arizona robins. 😂
Sorry not sorry, #seattleseahawks and #arizoncardinals
Here’s to trying new things…
Today I took my first tap class, followed by my first ballet class.
They were challenging.
They were fun.
They are worth doing again.
Today I took my first tap class, followed by my first ballet class.
They were challenging.
They were fun.
They are worth doing again.
September 20, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Here’s to trying new things…
Today I took my first tap class, followed by my first ballet class.
They were challenging.
They were fun.
They are worth doing again.
Today I took my first tap class, followed by my first ballet class.
They were challenging.
They were fun.
They are worth doing again.
Another week of worship planning is live for September 28th over on my substack.
hebrewdawn.substack.com/p/worship-fo...
hebrewdawn.substack.com/p/worship-fo...
Worship for September 28, 2025
Liturgy and worship plan for Sunday, September 28, 2025 (Proper 21)
hebrewdawn.substack.com
September 18, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Another week of worship planning is live for September 28th over on my substack.
hebrewdawn.substack.com/p/worship-fo...
hebrewdawn.substack.com/p/worship-fo...
I can fully claim my oldest as my own…
Husband: What did y’all do for dinner?
Me: Sadness and disappointment.
Oldest: Yeah, they were sad sandwiches.
Husband: What made them sad?
Oldest: She cried the whole time she was making them, because she missed you so much.
Husband: What did y’all do for dinner?
Me: Sadness and disappointment.
Oldest: Yeah, they were sad sandwiches.
Husband: What made them sad?
Oldest: She cried the whole time she was making them, because she missed you so much.
a woman in a floral shirt is laughing with her eyes closed
ALT: a woman in a floral shirt is laughing with her eyes closed
media.tenor.com
August 26, 2025 at 1:59 AM
I can fully claim my oldest as my own…
Husband: What did y’all do for dinner?
Me: Sadness and disappointment.
Oldest: Yeah, they were sad sandwiches.
Husband: What made them sad?
Oldest: She cried the whole time she was making them, because she missed you so much.
Husband: What did y’all do for dinner?
Me: Sadness and disappointment.
Oldest: Yeah, they were sad sandwiches.
Husband: What made them sad?
Oldest: She cried the whole time she was making them, because she missed you so much.
Time spent at the beach reading and being with friends is good for the soul.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
August 25, 2025 at 2:20 AM
Time spent at the beach reading and being with friends is good for the soul.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I love having a child that plays an instrument she loves. She can pick it out in songs when I’m oblivious to its presence.
Tonight’s example is “Ordinary” by #AlexWarren. She requested this song for our carpool playlist, because it has the harp in it. I was oblivious but she knew it began with it.
Tonight’s example is “Ordinary” by #AlexWarren. She requested this song for our carpool playlist, because it has the harp in it. I was oblivious but she knew it began with it.
August 22, 2025 at 12:54 AM
I love having a child that plays an instrument she loves. She can pick it out in songs when I’m oblivious to its presence.
Tonight’s example is “Ordinary” by #AlexWarren. She requested this song for our carpool playlist, because it has the harp in it. I was oblivious but she knew it began with it.
Tonight’s example is “Ordinary” by #AlexWarren. She requested this song for our carpool playlist, because it has the harp in it. I was oblivious but she knew it began with it.
If your kids started school this week, here is my reminder for what not to do on Friday:
1️⃣ Do not make plans to go somewhere.
2️⃣ Do not make elaborate plans.
3️⃣ Do not plan for it to be a late night.
Regardless of their age, these school age humans are tired.
1️⃣ Do not make plans to go somewhere.
2️⃣ Do not make elaborate plans.
3️⃣ Do not plan for it to be a late night.
Regardless of their age, these school age humans are tired.
August 21, 2025 at 3:41 PM
If your kids started school this week, here is my reminder for what not to do on Friday:
1️⃣ Do not make plans to go somewhere.
2️⃣ Do not make elaborate plans.
3️⃣ Do not plan for it to be a late night.
Regardless of their age, these school age humans are tired.
1️⃣ Do not make plans to go somewhere.
2️⃣ Do not make elaborate plans.
3️⃣ Do not plan for it to be a late night.
Regardless of their age, these school age humans are tired.
I know the @philadelphiaeagles.bsky.social believe it’s a real play, but I firmly believe the “tush push” is made up.
August 19, 2025 at 12:20 AM
I know the @philadelphiaeagles.bsky.social believe it’s a real play, but I firmly believe the “tush push” is made up.
Watching the @wshcommanders.bsky.social with my fam and the oldest goes, “who’s that other team? The beagles?”
Sorry, not sorry, @bengais.bsky.social you have a new name.
Sorry, not sorry, @bengais.bsky.social you have a new name.
August 19, 2025 at 12:19 AM
Watching the @wshcommanders.bsky.social with my fam and the oldest goes, “who’s that other team? The beagles?”
Sorry, not sorry, @bengais.bsky.social you have a new name.
Sorry, not sorry, @bengais.bsky.social you have a new name.
Hey church folks that livestream,
What are you using for equipment?
What do you love?
What do you wish you were using?
Thanks,
A pastor struggling with unreliable equipment.
#ministryquestion
#pastorlife
#digitalministry
#livestreamworship
What are you using for equipment?
What do you love?
What do you wish you were using?
Thanks,
A pastor struggling with unreliable equipment.
#ministryquestion
#pastorlife
#digitalministry
#livestreamworship
August 3, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Hey church folks that livestream,
What are you using for equipment?
What do you love?
What do you wish you were using?
Thanks,
A pastor struggling with unreliable equipment.
#ministryquestion
#pastorlife
#digitalministry
#livestreamworship
What are you using for equipment?
What do you love?
What do you wish you were using?
Thanks,
A pastor struggling with unreliable equipment.
#ministryquestion
#pastorlife
#digitalministry
#livestreamworship
Tell me you’re Xennial parents…
I’ll go first.
Daughter given DJ rights in the car.
This song begins to play, and my husband says he was more familiar with a different “Whistle While You” song.
music.apple.com/us/album/whi...
I’ll go first.
Daughter given DJ rights in the car.
This song begins to play, and my husband says he was more familiar with a different “Whistle While You” song.
music.apple.com/us/album/whi...
Whistle While You Work by Rachel Zegler, Jason Kravits, George Salazar, Jeff Morrow, Andy Grotelueschen, Tituss Burgess, Martin Klebba & Jeremy Swift on Apple Music
Song · 2025 · Duration 3:02
music.apple.com
August 1, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Tell me you’re Xennial parents…
I’ll go first.
Daughter given DJ rights in the car.
This song begins to play, and my husband says he was more familiar with a different “Whistle While You” song.
music.apple.com/us/album/whi...
I’ll go first.
Daughter given DJ rights in the car.
This song begins to play, and my husband says he was more familiar with a different “Whistle While You” song.
music.apple.com/us/album/whi...
Tell me you’re a pastor without telling me you’re a pastor:
My #wordle hint to my oldest:
It’s what Jesus is.
The ____ and the ____.
The eye roll was strong from that kid.
My #wordle hint to my oldest:
It’s what Jesus is.
The ____ and the ____.
The eye roll was strong from that kid.
a man with a beard is wearing a black and white sweater and making a face .
ALT: a man with a beard is wearing a black and white sweater and making a face .
media.tenor.com
July 30, 2025 at 1:15 AM
Tell me you’re a pastor without telling me you’re a pastor:
My #wordle hint to my oldest:
It’s what Jesus is.
The ____ and the ____.
The eye roll was strong from that kid.
My #wordle hint to my oldest:
It’s what Jesus is.
The ____ and the ____.
The eye roll was strong from that kid.
I was fortunate to have Rev. Dr Brian Blount as a professor at Union Presbyterian Seminary for our lecturers on the books Mark and Revelation.
If you’ve not listened to this episode on @theb4np.bsky.social, or this podcast, I highly recommend checking it out.
If you’ve not listened to this episode on @theb4np.bsky.social, or this podcast, I highly recommend checking it out.
July 28, 2025 at 12:27 PM
I was fortunate to have Rev. Dr Brian Blount as a professor at Union Presbyterian Seminary for our lecturers on the books Mark and Revelation.
If you’ve not listened to this episode on @theb4np.bsky.social, or this podcast, I highly recommend checking it out.
If you’ve not listened to this episode on @theb4np.bsky.social, or this podcast, I highly recommend checking it out.
Giving thank for @bushsbeans.bsky.social during our power outage this evening. We had rice leftover in the @zojirushius.bsky.social and heated up some seasoned pintos on the gas stove.
July 28, 2025 at 1:48 AM
Giving thank for @bushsbeans.bsky.social during our power outage this evening. We had rice leftover in the @zojirushius.bsky.social and heated up some seasoned pintos on the gas stove.
On a zoom call for the presbytery listening session…
Currently, it’s me and some bros.
I’m also the only person of color.
Currently, it’s me and some bros.
I’m also the only person of color.
marie from the aristocats is looking out of a window with her paws crossed .
ALT: marie from the aristocats is looking out of a window with her paws crossed .
media.tenor.com
May 20, 2025 at 11:02 PM
On a zoom call for the presbytery listening session…
Currently, it’s me and some bros.
I’m also the only person of color.
Currently, it’s me and some bros.
I’m also the only person of color.
From the mouths of babes
(a.k.a. PKs):
Youngest: I don’t like sermons. I just say they’re good, because they sound good. They’re boring. If they’re too churchy they’re boring. They need some other words.
Oldest: Mommy’s sermon usually aren’t too boring and blegh. Others are blegh.
(a.k.a. PKs):
Youngest: I don’t like sermons. I just say they’re good, because they sound good. They’re boring. If they’re too churchy they’re boring. They need some other words.
Oldest: Mommy’s sermon usually aren’t too boring and blegh. Others are blegh.
May 10, 2025 at 6:45 PM
From the mouths of babes
(a.k.a. PKs):
Youngest: I don’t like sermons. I just say they’re good, because they sound good. They’re boring. If they’re too churchy they’re boring. They need some other words.
Oldest: Mommy’s sermon usually aren’t too boring and blegh. Others are blegh.
(a.k.a. PKs):
Youngest: I don’t like sermons. I just say they’re good, because they sound good. They’re boring. If they’re too churchy they’re boring. They need some other words.
Oldest: Mommy’s sermon usually aren’t too boring and blegh. Others are blegh.
A great line was just uttered by a mother to her whining child at @ardentcraftales.bsky.social:
“If we could take a rain check on that whining of yours, that would be great.”
I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.
We then shared a stare of solidarity.
“If we could take a rain check on that whining of yours, that would be great.”
I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.
We then shared a stare of solidarity.
April 30, 2025 at 6:12 PM
A great line was just uttered by a mother to her whining child at @ardentcraftales.bsky.social:
“If we could take a rain check on that whining of yours, that would be great.”
I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.
We then shared a stare of solidarity.
“If we could take a rain check on that whining of yours, that would be great.”
I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.
We then shared a stare of solidarity.
Holy Wednesday brought scratching noises from the ceiling of our en-suite bathroom.
Good Friday brought #CritterAuthority determining the cause: 🦝
Monday after Easter brought
a 🦝 trap by #CritterAuthority
Good Friday brought #CritterAuthority determining the cause: 🦝
Monday after Easter brought
a 🦝 trap by #CritterAuthority
April 22, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Holy Wednesday brought scratching noises from the ceiling of our en-suite bathroom.
Good Friday brought #CritterAuthority determining the cause: 🦝
Monday after Easter brought
a 🦝 trap by #CritterAuthority
Good Friday brought #CritterAuthority determining the cause: 🦝
Monday after Easter brought
a 🦝 trap by #CritterAuthority
Called to a strange town to be taxed. Born housing insecure. Made a refugee to avoid childhood death. Served as an itinerant worker. Lynched by the State.
Divinely refused to be defined by the Empire. Overcame death and called us to the same fate.
What a guy. He is risen, indeed.
Divinely refused to be defined by the Empire. Overcame death and called us to the same fate.
What a guy. He is risen, indeed.
April 20, 2025 at 5:15 PM
That disappointing moment when you go for a sip of coffee and there’s none left…
*book in photo is my Lenten read by @revlizzie.bsky.social
*book in photo is my Lenten read by @revlizzie.bsky.social
March 17, 2025 at 12:52 PM
That disappointing moment when you go for a sip of coffee and there’s none left…
*book in photo is my Lenten read by @revlizzie.bsky.social
*book in photo is my Lenten read by @revlizzie.bsky.social