Thank you dude!!

I don’t get to do it too often but it’s really refreshing once in a while!

In my head the patchwork is variable and artists could make different chunk patterns or colored fragments as they saw fit so it’s like, malleable visually too. Anyway uh yeah I doubt I have the visibility for an auction or anything. I am bad at marketing lmao

Ideally I’d love to get at least 200USD to cover the five hours it took me painting; I actually sculpted the head in Blender first that I’d include with it as additional reference/a fun thing too. It’s not a print ready sculpt but it works as a maquette well enough.

Like, ignoring that all these boogeymen they wave around to justify cruelty are straight up fake and made up, the fact that you think willfully punishing people to starve for any reason is acceptable/justifiable means there’s something broken in you as a human being. Hhhgh.

“But what about—“ no I still don’t care, if there’s enough food to feed everyone then everyone should be fed. Same with housing. Same with medical care. The worst shittiest people I know should still have their needs met as humans what Is wrong with you. Fuck off.

I just couldn’t really delay posting this any longer since I really need to get hours organized so I can pay my sister and I’s rent. Capitalism marches on lmao

I’m still finishing off the latter part of my current portrait queue as I recover from a recent trip and sickness on said trip but (knock on wood) I should be working at a smooth pace again from here out, and getting back into streaming too.

oh, you’re right

Gonna cry more, thank you (I mean it genuinely Ouegh)

Yeah. That’s… yeah. I need to remind myself that there’s no wrong way to grieve. Said grieving just does absolutely suck, it’s true.

Thank you. I’m currently pretty blubbery and exhausted but it means a lot. This stuff is so hard.

Tell the people in your life that you love them. I’m going to lay down for a little while, I think. Be kind to each other.

I don’t really know where I‘m even going with this. I’m sorry if it was unprofessional to post. I’ll find a way to keep going because I have to. I just hope I feel a little less small and alone tomorrow.

I keep thinking about how the last traces of her on this earth are in that little glass thing now. It has a painted hummingbird and flowers on it. It’s here in the apartment: all the carbonized powder that used to be arms who held me when I cried like this. it hurts. I miss her.

I don’t really know how to process such a magnitude of grief. I wish that I could convince myself of something like faith or religion sometimes, but I’ve always struggled with unknowables and uncertainties being held to as fact. And I don’t know where she is except for the urn downstairs now.

The better logic regions of my brain know how irrational those feelings are too, the ones directed at myself. But my feelings currently don’t care about my facts. I wish I could say I’m more together than this, and I’m sorry it’s caused some work delays. Thank you for bearing with them.