I hate my children*

*Various joints in my body

(just found out he gave us 99.7% on our audit instead of 100% like I asked him to so maybe he is transphobic...)

I had a good local answer for him too 😭 I've never even played Magic

He stopped and turned to ask me "Do you know where I can buy Magic the Gathering singles around here?"

Character select screens that turn you trans

Whereas most of us are all evolving into crabs, men are all evolving into Charlie Brown

(it goes with my small jellycat)

Once, before corporate came along, I rolled a company truck into a ditch and called my boss incredibly shaky while hanging upside down from my seatbelt and he was like "Well, bet you won't do that again!" and that was it. Now we have to fill out three pages of paperwork for the tiniest of things

They make me get on a monthly safety meeting with every branch manager in the country, get on camera, and say "one of my little guys hurt his truck. :(" I hate doing that!