Captain Barfheart
@gvigary.bsky.social
Raised up by the Peter Principle.
Emboldened by Dunning-Kruger.
Brought down by Murphy's Law.
Emboldened by Dunning-Kruger.
Brought down by Murphy's Law.
Vladimir Putin
Could eat no gluten,
His wife said lactose made her farty.
And so, between the two of them,
They ruined their host's dinner party.
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
Could eat no gluten,
His wife said lactose made her farty.
And so, between the two of them,
They ruined their host's dinner party.
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
November 14, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Vladimir Putin
Could eat no gluten,
His wife said lactose made her farty.
And so, between the two of them,
They ruined their host's dinner party.
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
Could eat no gluten,
His wife said lactose made her farty.
And so, between the two of them,
They ruined their host's dinner party.
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
November 14, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Oh, the Grand Old Duke of York,
Had Virginia Giuffre,
So they threw him out of his big country house,
And they took his gongs away.
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
Had Virginia Giuffre,
So they threw him out of his big country house,
And they took his gongs away.
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
November 14, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Oh, the Grand Old Duke of York,
Had Virginia Giuffre,
So they threw him out of his big country house,
And they took his gongs away.
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
Had Virginia Giuffre,
So they threw him out of his big country house,
And they took his gongs away.
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
Cock a doodle doo!
My hens have got bird flu!
I'll have to bribe the man from MAFF,
'Cos my business loan's overdue!
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
My hens have got bird flu!
I'll have to bribe the man from MAFF,
'Cos my business loan's overdue!
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
November 14, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Cock a doodle doo!
My hens have got bird flu!
I'll have to bribe the man from MAFF,
'Cos my business loan's overdue!
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
My hens have got bird flu!
I'll have to bribe the man from MAFF,
'Cos my business loan's overdue!
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
Harvey Weinstein, pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When he said "I've a part for you"
Then showed them it, they cried #metoo!
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When he said "I've a part for you"
Then showed them it, they cried #metoo!
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
November 14, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Harvey Weinstein, pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When he said "I've a part for you"
Then showed them it, they cried #metoo!
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When he said "I've a part for you"
Then showed them it, they cried #metoo!
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner
Eating his Christmas pie.
His friends said "you look thicc"
So he got some Ozempic
But when asked "how'd you lose weight?", he'd lie.
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
Sat in a corner
Eating his Christmas pie.
His friends said "you look thicc"
So he got some Ozempic
But when asked "how'd you lose weight?", he'd lie.
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
November 14, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner
Eating his Christmas pie.
His friends said "you look thicc"
So he got some Ozempic
But when asked "how'd you lose weight?", he'd lie.
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
Sat in a corner
Eating his Christmas pie.
His friends said "you look thicc"
So he got some Ozempic
But when asked "how'd you lose weight?", he'd lie.
#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
Everybody knows that McSweeney's going to resign tomorrow, right? We've seen this movie before.
November 13, 2025 at 6:47 PM
Everybody knows that McSweeney's going to resign tomorrow, right? We've seen this movie before.
I just saw a publicity photo for #ImACelebrity and legit thought at first it was Lisa Riley.
Turns out it was Kelly Brook #FullyLoaded
Turns out it was Kelly Brook #FullyLoaded
November 12, 2025 at 3:36 PM
I just saw a publicity photo for #ImACelebrity and legit thought at first it was Lisa Riley.
Turns out it was Kelly Brook #FullyLoaded
Turns out it was Kelly Brook #FullyLoaded
It occurs to me that one reason white racists are also more likely to be climate change deniers is that if/when temperatures DO increase, people whose ancestors were from hotter climes will have an evolutionary advantage. They will quite literally be racially superior.
November 10, 2025 at 8:06 PM
It occurs to me that one reason white racists are also more likely to be climate change deniers is that if/when temperatures DO increase, people whose ancestors were from hotter climes will have an evolutionary advantage. They will quite literally be racially superior.
Smells Like Sistine Spirit
#ASongOrMovieForWorksOfArt
#ASongOrMovieForWorksOfArt
November 9, 2025 at 9:39 AM
Smells Like Sistine Spirit
#ASongOrMovieForWorksOfArt
#ASongOrMovieForWorksOfArt
Madonna of the Rock Me Amadeus
#ASongOrMovieForWorksOfArt
#ASongOrMovieForWorksOfArt
November 9, 2025 at 9:20 AM
Madonna of the Rock Me Amadeus
#ASongOrMovieForWorksOfArt
#ASongOrMovieForWorksOfArt
Tang, Yang, Kipperbang
#AllAboutTasteInASongOrMovie
#AllAboutTasteInASongOrMovie
November 8, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Tang, Yang, Kipperbang
#AllAboutTasteInASongOrMovie
#AllAboutTasteInASongOrMovie
Who says mice like cheese?
This brie has gummed up my scroll wheel.
This brie has gummed up my scroll wheel.
November 7, 2025 at 9:50 AM
Who says mice like cheese?
This brie has gummed up my scroll wheel.
This brie has gummed up my scroll wheel.
RIP Pauline Collins, who must (inter alia) have had one of the longest Doctor Who careers, having appeared alongside both Patrick Troughton (in 1967) and David Tennant (in 2013).
I was once in a queue behind her in the menswear department of Brent Cross John Lewis. She seemed very nice.
I was once in a queue behind her in the menswear department of Brent Cross John Lewis. She seemed very nice.
Pauline Collins, star of Shirley Valentine, dies aged 85
Her family said she died peacefully in her London care home having had Parkinson's for several years.
www.bbc.co.uk
November 6, 2025 at 8:02 PM
RIP Pauline Collins, who must (inter alia) have had one of the longest Doctor Who careers, having appeared alongside both Patrick Troughton (in 1967) and David Tennant (in 2013).
I was once in a queue behind her in the menswear department of Brent Cross John Lewis. She seemed very nice.
I was once in a queue behind her in the menswear department of Brent Cross John Lewis. She seemed very nice.
You know who was roasted in a beef?
November 6, 2025 at 4:56 PM
You know who was roasted in a beef?
It's leg day today.
Breast day tomorrow.
Saturday, I'll just wing it.
Breast day tomorrow.
Saturday, I'll just wing it.
November 6, 2025 at 4:47 PM
It's leg day today.
Breast day tomorrow.
Saturday, I'll just wing it.
Breast day tomorrow.
Saturday, I'll just wing it.
"If Curtis Sliwa had dropped out of the race, as some urged him to do, it may have given Cuomo more of an edge, an exit poll ... shows."
Dear BBC,
Mamdani got over 50% of the votes.
Any split is irrelevant.
Can we get our neutral, knowledgeable BBC News back, please?
@bbc5live.bsky.social
Dear BBC,
Mamdani got over 50% of the votes.
Any split is irrelevant.
Can we get our neutral, knowledgeable BBC News back, please?
@bbc5live.bsky.social
Election day live updates: Zohran Mamdani wins New York mayoral race
www.bbc.co.uk
November 5, 2025 at 10:13 AM
"If Curtis Sliwa had dropped out of the race, as some urged him to do, it may have given Cuomo more of an edge, an exit poll ... shows."
Dear BBC,
Mamdani got over 50% of the votes.
Any split is irrelevant.
Can we get our neutral, knowledgeable BBC News back, please?
@bbc5live.bsky.social
Dear BBC,
Mamdani got over 50% of the votes.
Any split is irrelevant.
Can we get our neutral, knowledgeable BBC News back, please?
@bbc5live.bsky.social
#ThingsYouCanSayDuringSexAndWhileVoting
I'm really looking forward to watching Sophie Raworth on the BBC later.
I'm really looking forward to watching Sophie Raworth on the BBC later.
November 4, 2025 at 8:10 PM
#ThingsYouCanSayDuringSexAndWhileVoting
I'm really looking forward to watching Sophie Raworth on the BBC later.
I'm really looking forward to watching Sophie Raworth on the BBC later.
#ThingsYouCanSayDuringSexAndWhileVoting
We're going to need a sizable swing here, because she's got a pretty big cushion.
We're going to need a sizable swing here, because she's got a pretty big cushion.
November 4, 2025 at 7:58 PM
#ThingsYouCanSayDuringSexAndWhileVoting
We're going to need a sizable swing here, because she's got a pretty big cushion.
We're going to need a sizable swing here, because she's got a pretty big cushion.
#ThingsYouCanSayDuringSexAndWhileVoting
This guy's sitting, that guy's standing, and by the end of the night we'll have chosen a member.
This guy's sitting, that guy's standing, and by the end of the night we'll have chosen a member.
November 4, 2025 at 7:52 PM
#ThingsYouCanSayDuringSexAndWhileVoting
This guy's sitting, that guy's standing, and by the end of the night we'll have chosen a member.
This guy's sitting, that guy's standing, and by the end of the night we'll have chosen a member.
#ThingsYouCanSayDuringSexAndWhileVoting
Whatever you do, don't let Farage in by the back door!
Whatever you do, don't let Farage in by the back door!
November 4, 2025 at 7:46 PM
#ThingsYouCanSayDuringSexAndWhileVoting
Whatever you do, don't let Farage in by the back door!
Whatever you do, don't let Farage in by the back door!
#ThingsYouCanSayDuringSexAndWhileVoting
I couldn't respect anyone who'd do this for a Tory.
I couldn't respect anyone who'd do this for a Tory.
November 4, 2025 at 7:42 PM
#ThingsYouCanSayDuringSexAndWhileVoting
I couldn't respect anyone who'd do this for a Tory.
I couldn't respect anyone who'd do this for a Tory.
#ThingsYouCanSayDuringSexAndWhileVoting
At least now I can tell my friends I've done it, but I don't really get what all the fuss is about.
At least now I can tell my friends I've done it, but I don't really get what all the fuss is about.
November 4, 2025 at 7:27 PM
#ThingsYouCanSayDuringSexAndWhileVoting
At least now I can tell my friends I've done it, but I don't really get what all the fuss is about.
At least now I can tell my friends I've done it, but I don't really get what all the fuss is about.
#ThingsYouCanSayDuringSexAndWhileVoting
This is one of the worst things it's possible to do with an (e)x.
This is one of the worst things it's possible to do with an (e)x.
November 4, 2025 at 7:25 PM
#ThingsYouCanSayDuringSexAndWhileVoting
This is one of the worst things it's possible to do with an (e)x.
This is one of the worst things it's possible to do with an (e)x.
#ThingsYouCanSayDuringSexAndWhileVoting
In Britain, we do it by hand. In America, I hear they have a machine for it.
In Britain, we do it by hand. In America, I hear they have a machine for it.
November 4, 2025 at 7:18 PM
#ThingsYouCanSayDuringSexAndWhileVoting
In Britain, we do it by hand. In America, I hear they have a machine for it.
In Britain, we do it by hand. In America, I hear they have a machine for it.