fuuuuuuuuck if only I was tiny and he could eat meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee😖😖😖😖😖😖😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫💚💚😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

anyways, personal crisis of "not feeling I've done enough. or the correct way" as always

all this to say i hate feeling like a kid due to lack of resources that other adults and those who have hit the milestones as they should have.

AND I NEED TO LEARN HOW CREDIT CARDS WORK OR ELSE MY DUMBASS WILL ABSOLUTELY BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF BY THE BANKS

I don't even got a fucking credit card man and I need to get the ball rolling on accruing receipts to show i can pay shit on time

to hopefully, ya know, actually feel like an adult who crossed a life milestone and not someone who was left in the dust thanks to half a decade of homelessness due to being trans before finding actual stability with my partners.

I can't wait to have a job with more stuff to do so I can distract myself from hoping insane and frustrated with this "heat" for lack of a better term that this delayed change into fall is putting me in.

and so I can money for a fuckin license and car

on one hand it's great my body has grown more sensitive to touch and how it makes me crave sex and physical contact like it's going out of style.

on the other hand it sucks how high my libdo is to the point of distraction during the day

peace maker season 2 ep 1

then half an hour later everyones flirting with everyone and im just sitting back on the corner again. its okay that people do this! i hate how i react emotionally and decide its better to be alone and calm down instead of even thinking of expressing the loneliness i feel

because literally i do take care of it by just not going, or leaving early!

even when im told i don't have to wait around the edge of the party to say hello, and introduced to someones convo about even something im into, i cant hold a conversation.

WHY DID THIS NOT INCLUDE MY LOVES AFAR!!!!!!! BSKY I KNOW I WROTE ABOUT THEM

😈