Danielle
@griefcasseroles.bsky.social
Writer. Poet. Therapist Widow. 🇨🇦🏳️🌈
Turning toward what hurts and helping you do the same.
Follow on Instagram: @griefcasseroles
Read Grief Casseroles for free 🌱 https://griefcasseroles.substack.com
Turning toward what hurts and helping you do the same.
Follow on Instagram: @griefcasseroles
Read Grief Casseroles for free 🌱 https://griefcasseroles.substack.com
November 8, 2025 at 6:07 PM
The sun sits low; its rays slice through the branches. I thread my body through the trees, looking for you.
But you’re not there.
Maybe you’ll be standing around the next corner, I think to myself.
Or the next.
But you’re not.
I’m alone.
But you’re not there.
Maybe you’ll be standing around the next corner, I think to myself.
Or the next.
But you’re not.
I’m alone.
November 8, 2025 at 6:07 PM
The sun sits low; its rays slice through the branches. I thread my body through the trees, looking for you.
But you’re not there.
Maybe you’ll be standing around the next corner, I think to myself.
Or the next.
But you’re not.
I’m alone.
But you’re not there.
Maybe you’ll be standing around the next corner, I think to myself.
Or the next.
But you’re not.
I’m alone.
When I have the energy, I run. Open hands, loose shoulders, light feet.
Light feet, light feet.
The path crunches under my shoes.
I run, and I pretend you are with me somewhere in these woods.
I run, and I imagine you will be standing around the next corner.
Light feet, light feet.
The path crunches under my shoes.
I run, and I pretend you are with me somewhere in these woods.
I run, and I imagine you will be standing around the next corner.
November 8, 2025 at 6:07 PM
When I have the energy, I run. Open hands, loose shoulders, light feet.
Light feet, light feet.
The path crunches under my shoes.
I run, and I pretend you are with me somewhere in these woods.
I run, and I imagine you will be standing around the next corner.
Light feet, light feet.
The path crunches under my shoes.
I run, and I pretend you are with me somewhere in these woods.
I run, and I imagine you will be standing around the next corner.
I drive to our spots. I remember the places we paused. I try to bring back the feelings of being with you, of seeing the things we saw and experienced together.
Those moments when it was just me and you with the wilderness, the damp earth, the fallen nurse logs, the wild.
Those moments when it was just me and you with the wilderness, the damp earth, the fallen nurse logs, the wild.
November 8, 2025 at 6:07 PM
I drive to our spots. I remember the places we paused. I try to bring back the feelings of being with you, of seeing the things we saw and experienced together.
Those moments when it was just me and you with the wilderness, the damp earth, the fallen nurse logs, the wild.
Those moments when it was just me and you with the wilderness, the damp earth, the fallen nurse logs, the wild.
When I lace up my trail runners, I think of you, Toby. I think of your love for the outdoors. I remember all the fun we had hiking and exploring, taking in the wonders of nature, basking in the awe of being with each other.
November 8, 2025 at 6:07 PM
When I lace up my trail runners, I think of you, Toby. I think of your love for the outdoors. I remember all the fun we had hiking and exploring, taking in the wonders of nature, basking in the awe of being with each other.
I wish I could tell you that climbing mountains without Toby is still amazing and wonderful, but that wouldn’t be the truth.
The truth is that it’s lonely. And it’s sad.
The mountains can’t make my grief “better.” And I don’t expect them to.
The truth is that it’s lonely. And it’s sad.
The mountains can’t make my grief “better.” And I don’t expect them to.
November 8, 2025 at 6:07 PM
I wish I could tell you that climbing mountains without Toby is still amazing and wonderful, but that wouldn’t be the truth.
The truth is that it’s lonely. And it’s sad.
The mountains can’t make my grief “better.” And I don’t expect them to.
The truth is that it’s lonely. And it’s sad.
The mountains can’t make my grief “better.” And I don’t expect them to.
I miss you—humble warrior, loving husband.
I miss the music and the magic of being loved by you.
I miss the way you filled the space around you like a song—
Your clear notes
Steady
Sure
Alive
Where are you, pure heart
gentle fighter?
I have no one to sing to.
I miss the music and the magic of being loved by you.
I miss the way you filled the space around you like a song—
Your clear notes
Steady
Sure
Alive
Where are you, pure heart
gentle fighter?
I have no one to sing to.
November 3, 2025 at 5:07 AM
I miss you—humble warrior, loving husband.
I miss the music and the magic of being loved by you.
I miss the way you filled the space around you like a song—
Your clear notes
Steady
Sure
Alive
Where are you, pure heart
gentle fighter?
I have no one to sing to.
I miss the music and the magic of being loved by you.
I miss the way you filled the space around you like a song—
Your clear notes
Steady
Sure
Alive
Where are you, pure heart
gentle fighter?
I have no one to sing to.
I miss everything about you. Every single thing.
I miss being held by you. I miss resting in the comfort of your arms.
I miss your blue eyes and bouncy curls. Your deadpan humour. Your meandering stories.
I miss our synergy, our pranks, our belly laughs, our late-night philosophies.
I miss being held by you. I miss resting in the comfort of your arms.
I miss your blue eyes and bouncy curls. Your deadpan humour. Your meandering stories.
I miss our synergy, our pranks, our belly laughs, our late-night philosophies.
November 3, 2025 at 5:07 AM
I miss everything about you. Every single thing.
I miss being held by you. I miss resting in the comfort of your arms.
I miss your blue eyes and bouncy curls. Your deadpan humour. Your meandering stories.
I miss our synergy, our pranks, our belly laughs, our late-night philosophies.
I miss being held by you. I miss resting in the comfort of your arms.
I miss your blue eyes and bouncy curls. Your deadpan humour. Your meandering stories.
I miss our synergy, our pranks, our belly laughs, our late-night philosophies.
Your last birthday alive, I watched you blow out your candles. Whatever your wishes were, they went unanswered. Up in smoke.
All the things I would have written to you in your birthday card, everything that would have started with “I love” now starts with “I miss.”
All the things I would have written to you in your birthday card, everything that would have started with “I love” now starts with “I miss.”
November 3, 2025 at 5:07 AM
Your last birthday alive, I watched you blow out your candles. Whatever your wishes were, they went unanswered. Up in smoke.
All the things I would have written to you in your birthday card, everything that would have started with “I love” now starts with “I miss.”
All the things I would have written to you in your birthday card, everything that would have started with “I love” now starts with “I miss.”
Will this fix me?
Things felt and seen in psychedelic-assisted therapy
open.substack.com
June 18, 2025 at 6:35 AM
Some things are unforgivable
(unpopular?) thoughts on forgiveness
open.substack.com
May 8, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Forgiveness is one way to heal, grow, and find peace, but it is not the only way.
May 8, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Forgiveness is one way to heal, grow, and find peace, but it is not the only way.
Everyone has the right to make their own decisions, to honour themselves, to settle into what feels right for them and what they’ve endured.
Forgiveness doesn’t hold us hostage until we submit to it. Not forgiving someone doesn’t mean we are stuck, or weak, or trapped.
Forgiveness doesn’t hold us hostage until we submit to it. Not forgiving someone doesn’t mean we are stuck, or weak, or trapped.
May 8, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Everyone has the right to make their own decisions, to honour themselves, to settle into what feels right for them and what they’ve endured.
Forgiveness doesn’t hold us hostage until we submit to it. Not forgiving someone doesn’t mean we are stuck, or weak, or trapped.
Forgiveness doesn’t hold us hostage until we submit to it. Not forgiving someone doesn’t mean we are stuck, or weak, or trapped.
Regardless of their status or wisdom, other people are not the arbiter of forgiveness.
It is a boundary violation to demand, pressure, manipulate, or guilt someone into forgiveness.
Coerced forgiveness isn’t real.
It is a boundary violation to demand, pressure, manipulate, or guilt someone into forgiveness.
Coerced forgiveness isn’t real.
May 8, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Regardless of their status or wisdom, other people are not the arbiter of forgiveness.
It is a boundary violation to demand, pressure, manipulate, or guilt someone into forgiveness.
Coerced forgiveness isn’t real.
It is a boundary violation to demand, pressure, manipulate, or guilt someone into forgiveness.
Coerced forgiveness isn’t real.
But this doesn’t always happen. Some people aren’t sorry. Some people don’t have the capacity for remorse or empathy.
Some people have predatory personality styles, and may even delight in the harm that inflict on others.
Some people have predatory personality styles, and may even delight in the harm that inflict on others.
May 8, 2025 at 5:42 PM
But this doesn’t always happen. Some people aren’t sorry. Some people don’t have the capacity for remorse or empathy.
Some people have predatory personality styles, and may even delight in the harm that inflict on others.
Some people have predatory personality styles, and may even delight in the harm that inflict on others.
Yes, forgiveness can be a transformative, healing experience for all involved.
In an ideal world, accountability, respect, and repair come together, and everyone can participate in collective healing.
Forgiveness is easier when the person who hurt you is sorry and ready to take responsibility.
In an ideal world, accountability, respect, and repair come together, and everyone can participate in collective healing.
Forgiveness is easier when the person who hurt you is sorry and ready to take responsibility.
May 8, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Yes, forgiveness can be a transformative, healing experience for all involved.
In an ideal world, accountability, respect, and repair come together, and everyone can participate in collective healing.
Forgiveness is easier when the person who hurt you is sorry and ready to take responsibility.
In an ideal world, accountability, respect, and repair come together, and everyone can participate in collective healing.
Forgiveness is easier when the person who hurt you is sorry and ready to take responsibility.
We are quite good at clearing space for forgiveness, but we aren’t always good at making room for the harm that came first or the actual, real person who has to live with it.
The process and decisions around forgiveness can be laced with life-altering trauma, loss, betrayal, abuse, and neglect.
The process and decisions around forgiveness can be laced with life-altering trauma, loss, betrayal, abuse, and neglect.
May 8, 2025 at 5:42 PM
We are quite good at clearing space for forgiveness, but we aren’t always good at making room for the harm that came first or the actual, real person who has to live with it.
The process and decisions around forgiveness can be laced with life-altering trauma, loss, betrayal, abuse, and neglect.
The process and decisions around forgiveness can be laced with life-altering trauma, loss, betrayal, abuse, and neglect.
Some of us might have strong opinions about forgiveness, and that’s okay.
Whatever our stance may be, forgiveness is deeply personal.
Whatever our stance may be, forgiveness is deeply personal.
May 8, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Some of us might have strong opinions about forgiveness, and that’s okay.
Whatever our stance may be, forgiveness is deeply personal.
Whatever our stance may be, forgiveness is deeply personal.
Yes they do. And sometimes, there is no explanation, and we have to find a way to live with that.
April 1, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Yes they do. And sometimes, there is no explanation, and we have to find a way to live with that.
Thank you so much. It’s so nice to hear that my words have impact and that people read them and feel seen.
March 14, 2025 at 7:19 AM
Thank you so much. It’s so nice to hear that my words have impact and that people read them and feel seen.