Boomers had it unbelievably easy. Especially your parents. Man they really fumbled that shit.

For reasons completely out of my control*, my wife and I now have a joint Facebook account and email account. Ty

(I cheated on her*)
(With a man)

at the bus stop taking this guy’s schizophrenic ramblings in good faith. carefully refuting his claims by citing three reliable sources

Keep “Chris” in “Christmas”

“Yeah he put the bear’s carcass in his car and drove it to Central Park to dump it”

“What?! that’s crazy!”

“No no no, hear me out, because he originally was going to do the right thing by taking it to his house to skin and freeze the dead bear.”

Opening this app and discovering I am a homosexual.

Yes hello good morning happy Thanksgiving and this meal is overrated which is why we only eat it once a year. Take care.

bernie should retire by exploding on the senate floor like akira

Stoked to announce I’ve received the opportunity to [live in the timeline where I need a former professional wrestler to not dismantle the dept of Ed] #blessed 🥰😍😋