Learn from my mistake: the bisexual guys are just as avoidant and shitty as the straight ones

Nothing worse than an unripe banana. Except genocide

Make the spooky ethereal hot bitch darkwave jams you wish to see in the world

takeaway from this weeks episode of severance: I need a theremin

Me and my baby nephew have a lot in common. We are both fans of soup and also very cute

I need my ex to acknowledge how out of his league I was. I fear I will die

every time I buy a jar of peanut butter I’m convinced that this is the time I can be normal about owning a jar of peanut butter

Sometimes I consider getting a roommate to save money but other times it’s 4am and I’m pantsless on my dance pole, twerking eating gherkins as my kettle corn pops