I wrote this a few months ago, I had planned on posting it but never did. I think, if I'm being honest, I was just done with funerals and death and dark questions around WHY certain people died. Alan's funeral was on 30th June this year. But I realise now that I should still share it, because the more we talk about grief, the more we can bring it out into the light and make it less scary, it might help us all cope a little easier from day to day.

As a chronic over thinker (much of which I've inflicted on you here, dear reader) it's fair to say that how to be a good father and how to set a good example to my son, are major topics in my brain on any given day. I replay moments wondering how to do better next time, I store away the successes with the hope I can repeat them and embed the behaviours.

Many years ago I downsized where I lived, I got rid (sold/donated/trashed) a lot of stuff and, for the most part, I've not missed any of it. Since then I've built up more stuff again but with a slightly different slant and I'm confident that I don't have the same volume, and the things I do have are better considered and, because I'm a geek, I've got my own little 'system' to help me maintain this moving forward.

So much I could say here;  four years since he arrived, so many milestones passed in this last year alone. I could write about how well he's doing, how much I love him (more than I ever thought possible), and how much of a cheeky chops he is turning out to be (which shocks no-one less than his parents, trust me!).

It would've been my Dad's birthday yesterday, he would've been 79. I didn't post about it yesterday, more by happenstance than planning, but I did think about him and one thing struck me. I think more about my Dad on any given day than I do about my Mum or my sister. Now, I'm not attributing scores nor logging time spent or any other quantifiable means for this but it only really struck me last night.

I am not currently employed. I will be again soon, and I'm excited to start a fresh at a new place but, for now, I am a man of leisure. It does not suite me. I feel somewhat conflicted most days of how to spend my time and I entirely blame my parents for this. My Dad was a do-er, a project guy, always something to do be they household chores, or home and garden improvements, there was always something to do.

It all started with The Crystal Maze on Channel 4. It was 1990, and we only had four TV channels to choose from and The Crystal Maze was a fun game show. In it, the host (Richard O'Brien) would take the contestants through different zones, and they'd have to partake in different categories of games; Mental, Mystery, Physical, or Skill. One of the zones (Medieval I think) took the contestants to a fortune teller who would give them a brain teaser to solve, Richard O'Brien referred to this fortune teller as Mumsie.

It all started with The Crystal Maze on Channel 4. It was 1990, and we only had four TV channels to choose from and The Crystal Maze was a fun game show. In it, the host (Richard O'Brien) would take the contestants through different zones, and they'd have to partake in different categories of games; Mental, Mystery, Physical, or Skill. One of the zones (Medieval I think) took the contestants to a fortune teller who would give them a brain teaser to solve, Richard O'Brien referred to this fortune teller as Mumsie.

My son has never known a world without mobile phones, without screens lighting up, without his Mum and Dad using them on and off throughout the day. For me, notifications are still something I view as an interruption, an annoyance. Notifications are something that I tolerate to allow me to have a tiny computer on hand for whatever task or information I need, but it's something I remember living without, my childhood was blissfully screen and technology free (ahhh hindsight is a wonderful thing).

I will consider myself lucky if I see my son reach the age of 35. That's 33 years away and by that point I'll be 83. I will consider myself lucky if I see my son reach the age of 30. That's 28 years away and by that point I'll be 78. I say this purely because my Dad died when he was 73, Mum made it to 78 (including 13 years post stroke).

Well, not right now, but sometime in the next few years at least. Maybe... probably... I dunno, I've given up trying to plan too much too far ahead so let's call this future dreams that we hope will come true (note: a lot of this is, in reality, grounded in boring things like money but I'm ignoring that for the purposes of this post).

I'm getting a new MacBook Air soon (likely a 15" model in Sky Blue) and I think I'm gonna do for a clean install. I use iCloud for Documents, almost entirely use default Mac Apps these days anyway, so I'm intrigued to see what I 'bring with me' in terms of apps. The list below is one I've maintained and updated over the past few years, it's slowly whittling down (

Both my parents were musicians, my Dad played guitar and banjo (and one appeared in his folk band on the same bill as The Corries), my Mum played the piano, both sang in local and national choirs; vague recollections of my Uncle conducting them both in Paisley Cathedral for a performance of Handel's Messiah, a piece that still evokes rich memories.

My appetite for writing down my thoughts continues unabashed. Admittedly a lot of what I've been writing about recently has been very private, given the utter shit life has thrown our way through October last year to even the last couple of weeks of this year but, as it does, things are levelling out. I'm being oblique for good reason, just as I haven't gone into great depth about my sisters sudden death because her daughters may read this (well her oldest, her youngest is only 4) nor have I really talked about the circumstances surrounding my Mum's sudden death, this isn't the place (nor is it my place) for such details because, at this point, the details are pointless and don't change what has happened.

Back from a glorious week on the beautiful island of Mull, part of the Inner Hebrides, a three hour drive punctuated with a 45 min ferry crossing. It's our second holiday here with family, the first was in 2022 with a very young boy, a big tent, a night in an Air-BnB, and a night in Tobermory Hotel. That year I was supposed to be taking part in a cycling event on Mull but I underestimated the amount of training I'd miss with a young baby keeping us busy so I ditched that and we just noodled around the island for a few days before heading to the campsite.

I wrote this piece for the BA Digest, replicating here for posterity. I wasn't always a Business Analyst. I started my working life as a technical administrator; essentially a technical dogsbody for a small I.T. firm, a bit of database work here, a bit of user documentation there, and it was the latter that took me into the world of Technical Communications.

Well this is just wonderful: Studio Ghibli has uploaded hundreds of high-resolution still images from almost all of their films, including all of the major ones: Princess Mononoke, Sprited Away, M