GenAARRrggHHHvieve 🍂
Pinned
I can't tell self depricating jokes because when I do people don't believe I'm joking because they think it's true... Which is much worse 😭
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Don’t worry I can move slowly and break things also.
November 13, 2025 at 9:44 PM
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It's weird that artists include painters, sculptors, poets, and dudes who escape.
November 13, 2025 at 1:23 PM
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no no the toymaker is geppetto pinocchio is geppetto’s monster
November 13, 2025 at 9:17 AM
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"This homeless man is just like me; I've got so many houses, sometimes I don't know where I'm going to sleep at night either!"
December 6, 2023 at 1:48 PM
*double clicks your right cheek because I wasn't paying attention to what you were saying*
*right clicking you on the forehead to look up the meaning of the word you just used*
November 13, 2025 at 6:33 PM
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I put my human suit on one tentacle at a time, just like everybody else
November 13, 2025 at 12:16 PM
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My jokes are self defacating
November 13, 2025 at 1:16 PM
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getting bit by a radioactive vixen could fox me
November 9, 2025 at 5:09 AM
Me, as a therapist: OMG...! do you wanna go on a girls night out?! 🍹💃💅
Me, as a therapist: Have you thought about seeing another therapist?
Me, as a therapist: Clearly, you don't put enough cheese on your nachos.
November 13, 2025 at 12:33 PM
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i still dont understand why dental care isnt include in health care. all other bones are, but mouth bones, no
November 13, 2025 at 12:12 PM
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*me to a film exec*

"I've got an idea.... zombies... in a Neanderthal community...! 👐"
November 12, 2025 at 7:59 PM
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I'm the Queen of the Procrasti Nation... I'll explain why later
I am the King of Blame, I got throne under the bus.
November 12, 2025 at 5:55 PM
*me to a film exec*

"I've got an idea.... zombies... in a Neanderthal community...! 👐"
November 12, 2025 at 7:59 PM
I'm the Queen of the Procrasti Nation... I'll explain why later
I am the King of Blame, I got throne under the bus.
November 12, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Some of London is so serene.
It would be even better if people could stop yakking away on their phones though.*

*polite (desperate) request (demand)
November 12, 2025 at 1:35 PM
🎶 They are not nice
They're mostly noise 🎶

*I sing as seagulls attack me*
November 12, 2025 at 6:54 AM
November 11, 2025 at 8:49 PM
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I absolutely snorted out loud in an important, quiet historic reading room. And then had the giggles for 5 minutes. Fingle rows of tentaculated fuckers!
November 9, 2025 at 8:35 PM
ALL THE LOYALTY CARDS!!!
LOYALTY TO EVERYONE!
EVEN YOUR COMPETITOR!
November 11, 2025 at 3:58 PM
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My engagement farm has produced very few marriages
November 5, 2025 at 5:25 PM
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Before the internet, two young children with eyes completely black where the whites should be, could show up at your door in the middle of the night demanding to come inside, and you’d be like: “yeah okay fine. I’ve never heard about anything like this so for all I know this is normal and good”
November 10, 2025 at 7:04 PM
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I just roll around in spoiled meat before i go out. Much cheaper, and i get a bus seat for myself.
November 10, 2025 at 6:34 PM
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[friend] omg youve lost so much weight whats your secret

[me] haha thank you groceries cost twice as much now
November 6, 2025 at 5:15 AM
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November 10, 2025 at 5:07 PM