@fullmetal-apricot.bsky.social
Baby at 2:30, suddenly realizing it's snack time:
(stands up) Ah! (enthusiastically signs "food" several times) AaaaAaaaAAAAAA! (runs to the door and smacks it) AAAAAAAAAA
(stands up) Ah! (enthusiastically signs "food" several times) AaaaAaaaAAAAAA! (runs to the door and smacks it) AAAAAAAAAA
June 11, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Baby at 2:30, suddenly realizing it's snack time:
(stands up) Ah! (enthusiastically signs "food" several times) AaaaAaaaAAAAAA! (runs to the door and smacks it) AAAAAAAAAA
(stands up) Ah! (enthusiastically signs "food" several times) AaaaAaaaAAAAAA! (runs to the door and smacks it) AAAAAAAAAA
Just saw a fox being loudly escorted out of our yard by crows
April 24, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Just saw a fox being loudly escorted out of our yard by crows
Well I WAS gathering up the cushions to wash them...
April 18, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Well I WAS gathering up the cushions to wash them...
Life hack for babies: Just take the bottom of the shape sorter off and put all the shapes through the big hole 🙄
April 13, 2025 at 2:13 PM
Life hack for babies: Just take the bottom of the shape sorter off and put all the shapes through the big hole 🙄
Baby has become obsessed with trying to draw. She's got a 2% success rate for holding the pencil right to do anything but she's all about it
April 3, 2025 at 11:31 PM
Baby has become obsessed with trying to draw. She's got a 2% success rate for holding the pencil right to do anything but she's all about it
Kid: (watching a movie) When were they born?
Me: 1984 or something.
Kid: Wait... 19?!
Me: I was born in the 1900s too, you know.
Kid: (drawn out gasp)
Me: 1984 or something.
Kid: Wait... 19?!
Me: I was born in the 1900s too, you know.
Kid: (drawn out gasp)
March 27, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Kid: (watching a movie) When were they born?
Me: 1984 or something.
Kid: Wait... 19?!
Me: I was born in the 1900s too, you know.
Kid: (drawn out gasp)
Me: 1984 or something.
Kid: Wait... 19?!
Me: I was born in the 1900s too, you know.
Kid: (drawn out gasp)
Enough people at the zoo told the Baby "good job" when she was walking around that she literally just started walking and continuously clapping, like "yes, I've learned this earns praise, I'm gonna just give myself a round of applause."
March 24, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Enough people at the zoo told the Baby "good job" when she was walking around that she literally just started walking and continuously clapping, like "yes, I've learned this earns praise, I'm gonna just give myself a round of applause."
Reposted
Judge Theodore D. Chuang of the U.S. District Court in Maryland ruled that the Defendants’ unilateral decision to shut down USAID likely violated the US Constitution. Indefinitely blocked the agency’s dismantling and barred Musk’s staffers from accessing sensitive personal data maintained by USAID.
March 18, 2025 at 7:11 PM
Judge Theodore D. Chuang of the U.S. District Court in Maryland ruled that the Defendants’ unilateral decision to shut down USAID likely violated the US Constitution. Indefinitely blocked the agency’s dismantling and barred Musk’s staffers from accessing sensitive personal data maintained by USAID.
Recently Baby has been playing on the toy piano and smashing the keys and getting SO EXCITED that she leans forward and then bites the piano
March 18, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Recently Baby has been playing on the toy piano and smashing the keys and getting SO EXCITED that she leans forward and then bites the piano
Reposted
A federal judge ordered six federal agencies to rehire thousands of probationary workers fired under Musk’s government-cutting initiative. Judge William J. Alsup ruled the firings unlawful, carried out unilaterally by the Office of Personnel Management (OPM).
March 13, 2025 at 6:35 PM
A federal judge ordered six federal agencies to rehire thousands of probationary workers fired under Musk’s government-cutting initiative. Judge William J. Alsup ruled the firings unlawful, carried out unilaterally by the Office of Personnel Management (OPM).
My brain, dreaming: the phantom of the Opera is running a boot camp in Texas for people who have trouble staying hydrated and everyone there gets a magic skeleton horse to ride around
Me: No thank you, that's TOO nonsense, I'm waking up now
Me: No thank you, that's TOO nonsense, I'm waking up now
March 3, 2025 at 1:28 PM
My brain, dreaming: the phantom of the Opera is running a boot camp in Texas for people who have trouble staying hydrated and everyone there gets a magic skeleton horse to ride around
Me: No thank you, that's TOO nonsense, I'm waking up now
Me: No thank you, that's TOO nonsense, I'm waking up now
Baby is entranced by fingernail clippers, and always wants to take them after I clip her nails. She holds them to her fingers and says "ssk ssk" (clip clip) and then tries to eat them while shaking her head "no" at me because she knows I tell her not to do that
March 1, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Baby is entranced by fingernail clippers, and always wants to take them after I clip her nails. She holds them to her fingers and says "ssk ssk" (clip clip) and then tries to eat them while shaking her head "no" at me because she knows I tell her not to do that
Reposted
Please read—this is becoming serious!
March 1, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Please read—this is becoming serious!
Looks at baby in the monitor: she's sitting up, talking to herself
Looks at baby in the monitor three seconds later: face planted on the mattress and sound asleep
Looks at baby in the monitor three seconds later: face planted on the mattress and sound asleep
February 28, 2025 at 8:41 PM
Looks at baby in the monitor: she's sitting up, talking to herself
Looks at baby in the monitor three seconds later: face planted on the mattress and sound asleep
Looks at baby in the monitor three seconds later: face planted on the mattress and sound asleep
Reposted
Trump Team Weighs Pulling Funds for Moderna Bird Flu Vaccine
What could possibly go wrong? 🤨
What could possibly go wrong? 🤨
Trump Team Weighs Pulling Funding for Moderna Bird Flu Vaccine
US health officials are reevaluating a $590 million contract for bird flu shots that the Biden administration awarded to Moderna Inc., people familiar with the matter said.
www.bloomberg.com
February 27, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Trump Team Weighs Pulling Funds for Moderna Bird Flu Vaccine
What could possibly go wrong? 🤨
What could possibly go wrong? 🤨
Reposted
Yay!! A federal judge in California sided with a coalition of unions, temporarily barring the Office of Personnel Management from ordering federal agencies to terminate probationary workers, stating that the firings were ‘illegal, should be stopped, and rescinded.’
February 28, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Yay!! A federal judge in California sided with a coalition of unions, temporarily barring the Office of Personnel Management from ordering federal agencies to terminate probationary workers, stating that the firings were ‘illegal, should be stopped, and rescinded.’
Me: You're silly.
Baby: (shakes head)
Me: You're NOT silly?
Baby: (nods)
Me: I think you are.
Baby: (shakes head)
Me: Oh, okay.
Baby: (shakes head)
Me: You're NOT silly?
Baby: (nods)
Me: I think you are.
Baby: (shakes head)
Me: Oh, okay.
February 28, 2025 at 1:16 PM
Me: You're silly.
Baby: (shakes head)
Me: You're NOT silly?
Baby: (nods)
Me: I think you are.
Baby: (shakes head)
Me: Oh, okay.
Baby: (shakes head)
Me: You're NOT silly?
Baby: (nods)
Me: I think you are.
Baby: (shakes head)
Me: Oh, okay.
Kid: I poured my own milk without spilling it!
Me: Nice work! Do you know what to do if you did spill the milk?
Kid: (deadpan) Call the police.
Me: Nice work! Do you know what to do if you did spill the milk?
Kid: (deadpan) Call the police.
February 25, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Kid: I poured my own milk without spilling it!
Me: Nice work! Do you know what to do if you did spill the milk?
Kid: (deadpan) Call the police.
Me: Nice work! Do you know what to do if you did spill the milk?
Kid: (deadpan) Call the police.
The baby just walked up and asked me to clip her fingernails. I have such weird children (affectionate)
February 24, 2025 at 8:39 PM
The baby just walked up and asked me to clip her fingernails. I have such weird children (affectionate)
Reposted
What the actual fuck?! America, it’s time to rise. When tyranny becomes law, rebellion becomes duty!
February 19, 2025 at 9:24 PM
What the actual fuck?! America, it’s time to rise. When tyranny becomes law, rebellion becomes duty!
Me: Hey, don't karate chop people.
Kiddo: Isn't that what karate chopping is for?
Kiddo: Isn't that what karate chopping is for?
February 20, 2025 at 1:07 AM
Me: Hey, don't karate chop people.
Kiddo: Isn't that what karate chopping is for?
Kiddo: Isn't that what karate chopping is for?
Kiddo: Ugh! I'm feeling so Nancy!
Me: ...do you mean antsy?
Me: ...do you mean antsy?
February 19, 2025 at 3:52 AM
Kiddo: Ugh! I'm feeling so Nancy!
Me: ...do you mean antsy?
Me: ...do you mean antsy?
The baby has decided it's her job to carry the can of cat food in to feed the cats in the evening
February 15, 2025 at 11:54 PM
The baby has decided it's her job to carry the can of cat food in to feed the cats in the evening
Reposted
The Trump administration has placed two top security chiefs at the U.S. Agency for International Development on leave after they resisted turning over classified material in restricted areas to Elon Musk’s staffers. America, please stand with us—we are fighting to defend this country!
February 2, 2025 at 7:09 PM
The Trump administration has placed two top security chiefs at the U.S. Agency for International Development on leave after they resisted turning over classified material in restricted areas to Elon Musk’s staffers. America, please stand with us—we are fighting to defend this country!
Today's autocorrect: my papercut is getting infected --> my haircut is getting infected
January 26, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Today's autocorrect: my papercut is getting infected --> my haircut is getting infected