Mike Shields
@fathermikeshields.bsky.social
36/Male/Portland. I like coffee. And I like writing.
I don’t know how else to say this but I do not give a fuck about golf videos.
August 9, 2025 at 8:58 PM
I don’t know how else to say this but I do not give a fuck about golf videos.
I got Folgers in my cup for the first time ever and it 100% is not the best part of waking up.
March 16, 2025 at 2:10 PM
I got Folgers in my cup for the first time ever and it 100% is not the best part of waking up.
Sabrina Carpenter: My give-a-fucks are on vacation.
Me: In this economy?
Me: In this economy?
March 13, 2025 at 4:02 AM
Sabrina Carpenter: My give-a-fucks are on vacation.
Me: In this economy?
Me: In this economy?
I don’t even think getting a hooooooo ya would make me feel better
February 23, 2025 at 1:08 AM
I don’t even think getting a hooooooo ya would make me feel better
What do you think the chances are that in the last 2-3 years somebody named their kid “Tariff”?
February 5, 2025 at 5:21 PM
What do you think the chances are that in the last 2-3 years somebody named their kid “Tariff”?
Seeing cyber trucks in the wild is the same thing as throwing up in my mouth. I hate it and I don’t know why it keeps happening.
January 27, 2025 at 3:43 AM
Seeing cyber trucks in the wild is the same thing as throwing up in my mouth. I hate it and I don’t know why it keeps happening.
If you can’t handle me at my 7-11 hotdog, you don’t deserve me at my Costco hotdog
January 26, 2025 at 12:48 AM
If you can’t handle me at my 7-11 hotdog, you don’t deserve me at my Costco hotdog
Here’s a photo of tiny bb Cooper in case anybody needs a timeline cleanse
January 22, 2025 at 4:17 PM
Here’s a photo of tiny bb Cooper in case anybody needs a timeline cleanse
Hey @billionaires. Fuck you.
January 11, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Hey @billionaires. Fuck you.
Me: wow, I wonder why my back hurts and why hip flexors are so tight.
Also me: lifts knee up to steer my steering wheel so I can use both hands to respond to a text
Also me: lifts knee up to steer my steering wheel so I can use both hands to respond to a text
January 9, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Me: wow, I wonder why my back hurts and why hip flexors are so tight.
Also me: lifts knee up to steer my steering wheel so I can use both hands to respond to a text
Also me: lifts knee up to steer my steering wheel so I can use both hands to respond to a text
I just ingested 10mg of melatonin after traveling all day. Ask me anything
December 20, 2024 at 5:50 AM
I just ingested 10mg of melatonin after traveling all day. Ask me anything
Self checkout. More like “check self out” amirite
a woman wearing glasses and a watch is standing in a kitchen and giving a thumbs up .
ALT: a woman wearing glasses and a watch is standing in a kitchen and giving a thumbs up .
media.tenor.com
December 13, 2024 at 10:20 PM
Self checkout. More like “check self out” amirite
The twist ending at the end of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 is a bigger twist than Sixth Sense and no I will not explain myself
December 11, 2024 at 6:12 AM
The twist ending at the end of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 is a bigger twist than Sixth Sense and no I will not explain myself
Did anybody else watch season 2 of #rhythm+flow on #Netflix? I have feelings and wanna discuss.
December 7, 2024 at 4:39 PM
Did anybody else watch season 2 of #rhythm+flow on #Netflix? I have feelings and wanna discuss.
You know that little sliced cheese separator thing? The piece of paper? Well I just ate half of one in my sandwich. That I made.
December 6, 2024 at 3:03 AM
You know that little sliced cheese separator thing? The piece of paper? Well I just ate half of one in my sandwich. That I made.
Bridesmaids is arguably one of the funniest movies alive. And if you don’t think so, I will argue with you.
November 27, 2024 at 2:49 AM
Bridesmaids is arguably one of the funniest movies alive. And if you don’t think so, I will argue with you.
Currently on vacation with the intent on relaxing only to find out that relaxing is actually incredibly hard to do. @science can you help?
November 23, 2024 at 9:33 PM
Currently on vacation with the intent on relaxing only to find out that relaxing is actually incredibly hard to do. @science can you help?
I don’t know where this came from but I now have the irresistible urge to poop whenever I see a cyber truck.
November 19, 2024 at 8:10 PM
I don’t know where this came from but I now have the irresistible urge to poop whenever I see a cyber truck.
That was definitely one of the boxing matches I have ever seen
November 16, 2024 at 5:40 AM
That was definitely one of the boxing matches I have ever seen
Anybody else happy to be here?
November 15, 2024 at 1:10 AM
Anybody else happy to be here?
If you like coffee and reading, especially reading about coffee, check out my review of Portland coffee roasters Push Pull and their cortado:
medium.com/@mokeshields...
medium.com/@mokeshields...
December 24, 2023 at 7:45 PM
If you like coffee and reading, especially reading about coffee, check out my review of Portland coffee roasters Push Pull and their cortado:
medium.com/@mokeshields...
medium.com/@mokeshields...