The Dark Professor (rare archetype)
@evopsychgoogle.bsky.social
professor of evolutionary psychology. under investigation for academic misconduct
alright, so the data in my paper isn't real. but the fact that it *could* be real says a lot about society
September 6, 2025 at 5:42 AM
alright, so the data in my paper isn't real. but the fact that it *could* be real says a lot about society
i must look into this
July 25, 2025 at 12:39 PM
i must look into this
it has never been more over for evo psych than it is right now. this was all i had left, and it's gone, it's fucking gone
June 11, 2025 at 10:47 AM
it has never been more over for evo psych than it is right now. this was all i had left, and it's gone, it's fucking gone
[average biologist]: i've been studying this conserved domain of unknown function for the past 2 years, and i still don't know what it's doing
[average race science guy]: i SEE the fitness landscape of evolution stretching back in time. i HEAR its symphony. and it says i'm correct about racial IQ
[average race science guy]: i SEE the fitness landscape of evolution stretching back in time. i HEAR its symphony. and it says i'm correct about racial IQ
April 15, 2025 at 3:18 AM
[average biologist]: i've been studying this conserved domain of unknown function for the past 2 years, and i still don't know what it's doing
[average race science guy]: i SEE the fitness landscape of evolution stretching back in time. i HEAR its symphony. and it says i'm correct about racial IQ
[average race science guy]: i SEE the fitness landscape of evolution stretching back in time. i HEAR its symphony. and it says i'm correct about racial IQ
currently at the annual Conference for Racial Hygiene, and i notice a striking lack of leftists here, which just goes to show how little they care about hygiene
April 12, 2025 at 10:15 PM
currently at the annual Conference for Racial Hygiene, and i notice a striking lack of leftists here, which just goes to show how little they care about hygiene
you, a dumb normal person watching HBO's Succession: "wow, what a scathing satire of late capitalism"
me, an evo psych professor who can actually understand HBO's Succession: "Logan Roy is old lion, Kendall Roy is da young lion"
me, an evo psych professor who can actually understand HBO's Succession: "Logan Roy is old lion, Kendall Roy is da young lion"
March 8, 2025 at 6:26 AM
you, a dumb normal person watching HBO's Succession: "wow, what a scathing satire of late capitalism"
me, an evo psych professor who can actually understand HBO's Succession: "Logan Roy is old lion, Kendall Roy is da young lion"
me, an evo psych professor who can actually understand HBO's Succession: "Logan Roy is old lion, Kendall Roy is da young lion"
oh, you think Elon is a weird freak for impregnating random women and abandoning them? have you considered that my evo psych graph says he's based, actually?
February 17, 2025 at 1:35 AM
oh, you think Elon is a weird freak for impregnating random women and abandoning them? have you considered that my evo psych graph says he's based, actually?
whoah
February 13, 2025 at 5:11 AM
whoah
my research funding is gone, my paycheck has dried up, and i've had to resort to to cannibalising my newborn child to fend off starvation, but i am still thankful to Elon Musk. he has given me selection pressure, which will let me evolve super intelligence and strength
February 7, 2025 at 12:00 AM
my research funding is gone, my paycheck has dried up, and i've had to resort to to cannibalising my newborn child to fend off starvation, but i am still thankful to Elon Musk. he has given me selection pressure, which will let me evolve super intelligence and strength
Reposted by The Dark Professor (rare archetype)
you aren’t hearing from the dems because they’re hard at work down in the crispr lab growing vats of 2028 candidates twice as racist and 3x as old as biden
January 28, 2025 at 11:33 PM
you aren’t hearing from the dems because they’re hard at work down in the crispr lab growing vats of 2028 candidates twice as racist and 3x as old as biden
i feel like there's been a miscommunication. i voted for Trump to cut the government funding for useless research, but instead he cut my research
January 28, 2025 at 6:50 AM
i feel like there's been a miscommunication. i voted for Trump to cut the government funding for useless research, but instead he cut my research
this is NOT what i asked for!!
lol, there's a lab at my university studying microbes that live in volcanic environments. @elonmusk please GUT all this wasteful/useless academic bullshit research, but please give more funding for my research into applying evo psych theory in business schools
January 28, 2025 at 6:39 AM
this is NOT what i asked for!!
biology is just the study of goo. you're studying fucking goo
January 12, 2025 at 12:25 AM
biology is just the study of goo. you're studying fucking goo
only people with 200+ IQ can solve this. i solved it within 10 minutes, fyi
December 21, 2024 at 5:36 AM
only people with 200+ IQ can solve this. i solved it within 10 minutes, fyi
not that it matters, but if i ever did a major crime and people found my Goodreads account, everyone would say that i have great taste in books
December 9, 2024 at 10:05 PM
not that it matters, but if i ever did a major crime and people found my Goodreads account, everyone would say that i have great taste in books
in light of recent events, i want to stress that evolutionary psychology actually teaches us that CEO's are good and should not be shot.
December 9, 2024 at 9:41 PM
in light of recent events, i want to stress that evolutionary psychology actually teaches us that CEO's are good and should not be shot.
oh no, the CEO shooter is an evo psych guy. i fear this will politicize my our normally apolitical field of research :/
December 9, 2024 at 7:52 PM
oh no, the CEO shooter is an evo psych guy. i fear this will politicize my our normally apolitical field of research :/
starting to get real sick of all these secretly high IQ janitors at my uni who keep solving difficult math equations on the chalkboard before i can
December 2, 2024 at 10:48 PM
starting to get real sick of all these secretly high IQ janitors at my uni who keep solving difficult math equations on the chalkboard before i can
male peacocks carry around huge tails at their own detriment, as if to say "yeah my genes are so good that i can have this handicap". human males do the same thing but with IBS and lower back pain
December 2, 2024 at 3:37 AM
male peacocks carry around huge tails at their own detriment, as if to say "yeah my genes are so good that i can have this handicap". human males do the same thing but with IBS and lower back pain
for those still doubting my sexual market value: hundreds of gorgeous women have been liking my posts. all of them are named Sophie, which is an interesting but irrelevant detail in this story
December 1, 2024 at 11:09 PM
for those still doubting my sexual market value: hundreds of gorgeous women have been liking my posts. all of them are named Sophie, which is an interesting but irrelevant detail in this story
spiralling into a suicidal depression when i realise that there are people with higher IQs than me
December 1, 2024 at 10:31 PM
spiralling into a suicidal depression when i realise that there are people with higher IQs than me
if i were to ever see a woman celebrating getting a PhD, my rudimentary male evolved psychology would have a psychotic break like one of those Lovecraft characters seeing incomprehensible cosmic horror
December 1, 2024 at 8:54 PM
if i were to ever see a woman celebrating getting a PhD, my rudimentary male evolved psychology would have a psychotic break like one of those Lovecraft characters seeing incomprehensible cosmic horror
lol, there's a lab at my university studying microbes that live in volcanic environments. @elonmusk please GUT all this wasteful/useless academic bullshit research, but please give more funding for my research into applying evo psych theory in business schools
November 30, 2024 at 11:35 PM
lol, there's a lab at my university studying microbes that live in volcanic environments. @elonmusk please GUT all this wasteful/useless academic bullshit research, but please give more funding for my research into applying evo psych theory in business schools
science got too political so it lost the public's trust, and by "public's trust" i mean me and by "got too political" i mean asking me to get vaccinated
November 30, 2024 at 10:53 PM
science got too political so it lost the public's trust, and by "public's trust" i mean me and by "got too political" i mean asking me to get vaccinated