mostly i rly love the middle/hs feeling of the real problem here is i was stupid enough to believe you liked me and that's on me for getting excited about people. sigh. some things never change for me

Crimewatch:
tried to stick his head into the takeout containers at dinnertime. When told no, went meh meh MEH meh squeakily, jumped into the box and leered

thaaaaaank, i got shoots coming up and my roots were super grey

Crimewatch:
bit his sister's tummy while they napped, multiple times
bit my toes
climbed the coffee table

Avoidance attachment, anxious attachment, whatever, man.
I don't know how to balance feeling Too Much and trying to curl myself Too Small.
Neither are useful or kind to the me.

and unfortunately this applies for everything platonic to romantic. Don't get me wrong - romance is always spooky. Not many places in life that are as easy to cause grevious injury

I would like for the kind of fear that I have about experiencing emotions to not be so fully gutting, to not feel like a punch to the solar plexus, to not want to stitch my own mouth shut so I can't talk Too Much or be Too Much

a history of pain has led me to believe that everyone will inevitably leave, so it is easier for me to be alone.

a lot of hard work into healing says the people who want to be here will and hurting people doesn't make safety, just regrets

and then sometimes it feels like being dangled over the grand canyon by a hair and your hands are sweating

post nasal drip, fatigue, sinus pressure, and random hot flashes x.x

make sure you're testing! x.x this one comes with hot flashes but better ti be able to get antivirals if need be