Jason Conover
@elaboratecon.bsky.social
Software Engineer at NASA JPL.
I’m famous in my own head.
I’m famous in my own head.
So Macy’s is basically a parade brand now?
November 29, 2025 at 7:05 PM
So Macy’s is basically a parade brand now?
Why are steaks at Mexican restaurants twice the size of any other cuisine?
November 23, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Why are steaks at Mexican restaurants twice the size of any other cuisine?
(Wears 2” platform boots all damned day): Why are my feet cramping up?!
November 19, 2025 at 4:13 AM
(Wears 2” platform boots all damned day): Why are my feet cramping up?!
Me: Gets new iPhone 17 Pro Max. Promptly plays 1989’s NIN: Pretty Hate Machine
November 9, 2025 at 11:05 PM
Me: Gets new iPhone 17 Pro Max. Promptly plays 1989’s NIN: Pretty Hate Machine
Halloween lets you know who does and DOES NOT own an ironing board.
October 31, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Halloween lets you know who does and DOES NOT own an ironing board.
Apparently, AI uses em dashes a lot. I use them as an elegant way to write asides, so my writing doesn’t look hacky, like Ready Player One.
October 24, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Apparently, AI uses em dashes a lot. I use them as an elegant way to write asides, so my writing doesn’t look hacky, like Ready Player One.
Can we please go back to boring govt that doesn’t cause an ulcer every goddamned day?!
October 19, 2025 at 5:17 AM
Can we please go back to boring govt that doesn’t cause an ulcer every goddamned day?!
I have 3 expectations for modern Tron movies:
- Different artist doing the score
- New color for the suits/world
- Be one long music video
- Different artist doing the score
- New color for the suits/world
- Be one long music video
October 12, 2025 at 6:08 PM
I have 3 expectations for modern Tron movies:
- Different artist doing the score
- New color for the suits/world
- Be one long music video
- Different artist doing the score
- New color for the suits/world
- Be one long music video
You ever think an article of clothing is still relatively new, then notice you wore it in a photo from like 9 years ago?
October 8, 2025 at 8:55 PM
You ever think an article of clothing is still relatively new, then notice you wore it in a photo from like 9 years ago?
I like to think all these people wearing pajamas out in public go home, put on formal wear, and get in bed. #UnoReverse
September 1, 2025 at 10:15 AM
I like to think all these people wearing pajamas out in public go home, put on formal wear, and get in bed. #UnoReverse
Just asked a guy if he’s Moby.
He annoyedly said “No.”
He annoyedly said “No.”
April 4, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Just asked a guy if he’s Moby.
He annoyedly said “No.”
He annoyedly said “No.”
If I’ve learned anything from social media, it’s that moms love to comment “BEAUTIFUL!!!” on pics they like.
February 21, 2025 at 12:17 AM
If I’ve learned anything from social media, it’s that moms love to comment “BEAUTIFUL!!!” on pics they like.
Someone used a photo of me to create an IG account. What’s worse is they didn’t even use a thirst trap!
February 20, 2025 at 1:37 AM
Someone used a photo of me to create an IG account. What’s worse is they didn’t even use a thirst trap!
The White Lotus should’ve been called “The Last Resort.”
February 7, 2025 at 9:33 PM
The White Lotus should’ve been called “The Last Resort.”
As a UI developer, I think it’s crazy how we just accept Instagram’s tiny inline links—that don’t look like links. I’m trying to Like something, NOT see who else has Liked it already! #BigThumbs
February 5, 2025 at 10:04 PM
As a UI developer, I think it’s crazy how we just accept Instagram’s tiny inline links—that don’t look like links. I’m trying to Like something, NOT see who else has Liked it already! #BigThumbs
Love watching movies set in Seattle because they get everything wrong. Like they’ll take a left at the Space Needle and suddenly be in the woods.
February 3, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Love watching movies set in Seattle because they get everything wrong. Like they’ll take a left at the Space Needle and suddenly be in the woods.
Dear Social Media,
Please stop serving me up fringe theater IMPROV. The world is terrible enough as-is.
Please stop serving me up fringe theater IMPROV. The world is terrible enough as-is.
January 30, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Dear Social Media,
Please stop serving me up fringe theater IMPROV. The world is terrible enough as-is.
Please stop serving me up fringe theater IMPROV. The world is terrible enough as-is.
Best customer review of this vegan protein powder: "I HOPE YOU LIKE TO POOP!"
January 28, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Best customer review of this vegan protein powder: "I HOPE YOU LIKE TO POOP!"
This company's name is "No Limit Anesthesia." Feel like there SHOULD be a limit.
January 28, 2025 at 7:42 PM
This company's name is "No Limit Anesthesia." Feel like there SHOULD be a limit.
Kid at a gay bar recently used the weirdest line on me: “Are you straight? My friends think you’re straight.” Not offended, but is that supposed to be flattering? 💅
January 25, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Kid at a gay bar recently used the weirdest line on me: “Are you straight? My friends think you’re straight.” Not offended, but is that supposed to be flattering? 💅
I’m getting WAY too many cloak advertisements served up to me on social media. Why do the algorithms assume I wear cloaks? On second thought, I don’t wanna know.
January 18, 2025 at 5:39 PM
I’m getting WAY too many cloak advertisements served up to me on social media. Why do the algorithms assume I wear cloaks? On second thought, I don’t wanna know.
Seen enough social media comments where someone says an influencer is “just doing it for CLOUD” that I don’t think it’s always an auto-correct mistake 😩
January 18, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Seen enough social media comments where someone says an influencer is “just doing it for CLOUD” that I don’t think it’s always an auto-correct mistake 😩
My husband has unlimited PTO and has like 5+ weeks of vacations planned for us. I get 2 weeks. As the kids would say, the math isn’t mathing 😅
January 18, 2025 at 2:07 AM
My husband has unlimited PTO and has like 5+ weeks of vacations planned for us. I get 2 weeks. As the kids would say, the math isn’t mathing 😅
I shouldn’t be THIS excited to find my shade of discontinued concealer on eBay 😩
January 17, 2025 at 5:08 AM
I shouldn’t be THIS excited to find my shade of discontinued concealer on eBay 😩
What kind of psychopath sees thousands of people losing EVERYTHING and thinks “You know what this natural disaster needs? Some MISINFORMATION!”
January 16, 2025 at 2:28 AM
What kind of psychopath sees thousands of people losing EVERYTHING and thinks “You know what this natural disaster needs? Some MISINFORMATION!”