Eccles9
@eccles9.bsky.social
I am the world's leading expert in being me. Every thing else here is just my opinion. I often talk complete toot. Known to use rude words.
Commit an act of kindness. Two hands put to task will always accomplish more than a thousand pairs clasped in prayer.
November 14, 2025 at 3:59 AM
Commit an act of kindness. Two hands put to task will always accomplish more than a thousand pairs clasped in prayer.
The pesticides and herbicides may not have killed off all of the fairies at the bottom of the garden, but the whipper-snipper sure did fuck up the survivors.
November 11, 2025 at 11:43 PM
The pesticides and herbicides may not have killed off all of the fairies at the bottom of the garden, but the whipper-snipper sure did fuck up the survivors.
When you're up to your arse in crocodiles, it can be difficult to remember that your objective is to drain the swamp.
November 2, 2025 at 12:03 AM
When you're up to your arse in crocodiles, it can be difficult to remember that your objective is to drain the swamp.
I cut a deal with the Devil himself down at the crossroads at midnight to only write brilliant and inspiring posts.
Obviously that lying bastard ripped me off.
Obviously that lying bastard ripped me off.
November 1, 2025 at 3:50 AM
I cut a deal with the Devil himself down at the crossroads at midnight to only write brilliant and inspiring posts.
Obviously that lying bastard ripped me off.
Obviously that lying bastard ripped me off.
This post is dedicated especially to you, yes that's right you and you alone. All because you are special - and I mean special in that 'you are unique and wonderful' way not that 'kid at school who always smelled funny and ate their own boogers' kind of way.
September 2, 2025 at 1:50 AM
This post is dedicated especially to you, yes that's right you and you alone. All because you are special - and I mean special in that 'you are unique and wonderful' way not that 'kid at school who always smelled funny and ate their own boogers' kind of way.
For anyone awaiting the second coming, remember Jesus was a carpenter and once a tradie shoots through to their next gig, they're never coming back to finish off the job.
August 31, 2025 at 2:55 AM
For anyone awaiting the second coming, remember Jesus was a carpenter and once a tradie shoots through to their next gig, they're never coming back to finish off the job.
This post is guaranteed free of artificial flavours, colourings, preservatives and intelligence.
August 26, 2025 at 1:01 AM
This post is guaranteed free of artificial flavours, colourings, preservatives and intelligence.
Typical, just as I discovered the answer I went and forgot the bloody question.
August 19, 2025 at 5:32 AM
Typical, just as I discovered the answer I went and forgot the bloody question.
If symptoms persist, well there really is bugger all I can do.
August 18, 2025 at 3:02 AM
If symptoms persist, well there really is bugger all I can do.
This post is completely free (plus postage and handling).
August 17, 2025 at 1:15 AM
This post is completely free (plus postage and handling).
Believe me, it made a lot more sense in my head than it did here on screen.
August 15, 2025 at 1:20 AM
Believe me, it made a lot more sense in my head than it did here on screen.
Life tip: breathe in, breathe out. Repeat as necessary.
August 14, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Life tip: breathe in, breathe out. Repeat as necessary.
Life tip: breathe in, breathe out. Repeat as necessary.
August 14, 2025 at 2:05 AM
Life tip: breathe in, breathe out. Repeat as necessary.
To be honest, the thought of Trump pushing the button is no more frightening than the thought of Reagan doing it used to be.
August 9, 2025 at 1:31 AM
To be honest, the thought of Trump pushing the button is no more frightening than the thought of Reagan doing it used to be.
Why, thank you, thank you very much. That's very nice of you. I appreciate it, really, I do.
August 5, 2025 at 1:39 AM
Why, thank you, thank you very much. That's very nice of you. I appreciate it, really, I do.
This post is a figment of your imagination so you've really only got yourself to blame for whatever it says.
August 3, 2025 at 2:06 AM
This post is a figment of your imagination so you've really only got yourself to blame for whatever it says.
So which one is it again, do I cut the red wire or the blue wire...?
July 28, 2025 at 3:25 AM
So which one is it again, do I cut the red wire or the blue wire...?
Yeah, a wheel is a pretty amazing invention, but there's very little you can do with one until you invent an axle.
July 24, 2025 at 12:12 AM
Yeah, a wheel is a pretty amazing invention, but there's very little you can do with one until you invent an axle.
In an amazing breakthrough, language experts have released conclusive evidence that there's no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
July 23, 2025 at 2:05 AM
In an amazing breakthrough, language experts have released conclusive evidence that there's no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
It's a funny old world. Pity so few of us seem to be laughing about it.
July 21, 2025 at 1:38 AM
It's a funny old world. Pity so few of us seem to be laughing about it.
Okay I'm winding the rubber band extra tight, this time it will surely fly.
July 20, 2025 at 8:39 AM
Okay I'm winding the rubber band extra tight, this time it will surely fly.
Having achieved a sitting upright position, I'm no longer taking today laying down.
July 8, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Having achieved a sitting upright position, I'm no longer taking today laying down.
I have no troubles understanding the concept of infinity, it's the scale of human stupidity that I simply just can't get my head around.
July 7, 2025 at 2:47 AM
I have no troubles understanding the concept of infinity, it's the scale of human stupidity that I simply just can't get my head around.
It's sometimes difficult to remind oneself that when up to one's arse in alligators, one's original objective was to drain the swamp.
June 27, 2025 at 4:36 AM
It's sometimes difficult to remind oneself that when up to one's arse in alligators, one's original objective was to drain the swamp.
Life, in its entirety, is the ridiculously complex series of events that happen in the limited time period between your birth and your death.
Do your best to enjoy them.
Do your best to enjoy them.
June 24, 2025 at 4:51 AM
Life, in its entirety, is the ridiculously complex series of events that happen in the limited time period between your birth and your death.
Do your best to enjoy them.
Do your best to enjoy them.