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durandal.blog
sister dante in the pit
@durandal.blog
110 followers 81 following 490 posts
roland • grown • they/he

beefleaf enjoyer, bloodletter @ ao3
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durandal.blog
i made a haman karn fanmix and it's very good and you should listen to it (links below)
two screenshots of haman karn in her double zeta neon-zeon commander's uniform, recoloured into pink and orange. superimposed text reads "cold, but still alive" followed by a track listing a distorted photo of a space field in wacky colours
September 28, 2025 at 7:59 PM
durandal.blog
modern au peishui
tweet by will sennet @senn_spud: (To my girl friends gay friend while she's in the bathroom) Big dog...you are mother
August 16, 2025 at 2:01 AM
durandal.blog
😇
Each chamber at Paradise Manor looks the same as any other—red, gauche—so He Xuan cannot tell whether she has been received here before. Irrelevant, in any case, but these are the things she thinks of while she waits: floor plans, escape routes. There are voices, hushed, from the other side of the screen; they are speaking to each other, not for her, and are not concerned with the fact she can overhear their plotting. It’s immaterial to them. They exist in their own world, and care for her very little. That is the point of all this.
July 10, 2025 at 2:21 AM
durandal.blog
it's my [big number]th birthday today. hehe
gif from SD gundam of chibi haman karn giggling, which turns into maniacal anime laughter
May 29, 2025 at 2:36 PM
durandal.blog
i don't think this is actually the vibe but i saw this screenshot like an hour after reading this thread and it made me cry laughing
tumblr tag screenshot: some of us are... not kind bottoms haven't had a threesome since the other bottom here threw me off my partner every time i tried to ride them
May 16, 2025 at 2:13 PM
durandal.blog
every time the latin chanting starts in the perpetua theme
a gif i have saved as "feeling it vibe", showing a person at a festival ? vibing to music with their eyes closed
April 29, 2025 at 5:21 PM
durandal.blog
The oedipal complex? Right in front of my ham • bur ger?
Emma, a brunette 80s anime lady, speaks to her superior officer Bright: "Kamille is instinctively attracted to me." Emma continues: "I'm not saying this out of self-conceit." "Simply put, I don't want to promote any mother complex Kamille has." She is looking regretfully off to the side now. Cut to Bright's face as he chews a burger and looks confused as Emma goes on. "I cannot be a substitute mother for Kamille."
April 20, 2025 at 4:10 AM
durandal.blog
Crossposting from fedi hehe
A tweet that reads: Reply with a fic premise that you think I would write and I'll tell you how embarrassingly accurate it is.
April 18, 2025 at 3:09 AM
durandal.blog
Like. Aaaaaaaa
[Verse 1] I gave my strength For years, like an ox, I pushed And for years, like a ship, I sank To the bottom of that unknown sea [Verse 2] I'm still learning to be free and not so somber Every night, I stay up a little longer Searching on that field of stars Do you know who you are? Can you dig up my tree? Can you find what's inside of me? Find the origin of my defeat [Chorus] In the beginning, I was all dreams Times have changed I'm no longer the same [Verse 3] I don't want you to leave It's so bittersweet That this is the time you met me I'm going through a long phase I don't try to relate I don't really try to find someone to sedate me Hard out for remedy, it's so bittersweet You and me [Chorus] In the beginning, I was all dreams Times have changed I'm no longer the same [Verse 4] Every day's a lesson in giving away Stripes on my floor Dark shots at my door Have you ever walked in on a queen before? I just went through the valley I know it's changed me Fire from eternity The origin of my dreams [Chorus] In the beginning, I was all dreams Time caught up with me Now I can finally see
April 5, 2025 at 4:46 AM
durandal.blog
I'm working on my beefleaf wips again nature is healing
He Xuan was aware of several inconvenient facts. First, that he had spent centuries in futile struggle for acknowledgement that his pain, his family’s pain, was real and terrible. He never expected Shi Wudu to repent, but He Xuan had hoped, like a fool, that the man could muster a mote of regret when pushed to the brink. He Xuan had been surprised by the plaintive questions that fought to escape his own throat back then: Were we even human to you? This can’t be all we ever get, can it? Second, he did not wish to spend any longer wailing in the dark alone, though that dark room may be his own heart, and his grief rarely given voice outside it. Third, there was only one other living soul capable of crying out for the same tragedy. Fourth, He Xuan was profoundly infatuated with her. This last point was merely an inconvenience, as it did not change the fifth truth: it was impossible for them to be anything to one another, regardless of what anyone might want, or what mistakes He Xuan may have been enticed to make when faced with Shi Qingxuan’s willing surrender.
March 28, 2025 at 3:27 PM
durandal.blog
Extremely boring yet realistic picrew... I have "4 years of being wfh" wardrobe these days sadly
Picrew art of a white person with long dark hair smiling while holding a hot cup of tea
March 21, 2025 at 5:18 AM
durandal.blog
The flavour
Hx POV rewrite - creepy skull pool scene - hx gender vs sqx gender - whirling internal situation - her love for sqx - not being too good to not savour a revenge murder - wanting to be seen and heard and not being ready for the conversation to be over - giving insight to her fantasy version of this dynamic - wanting to be able to play dolls with sqx (sqx is the doll) (sometimes hx is also a doll and she's hovering dissociated outside her own body making the barbies kiss)
March 15, 2025 at 6:11 AM
durandal.blog
Tbh everything below rough sex is undertagged and should be higher lmao
Screenshot of my top 10 most used additional tags on ao3 Post-Canon (8) Pre-Canon (7) Rough Sex (5) Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues (5) Under-negotiated Kink (5) Missing Scene (4) Verbal Humiliation (4) Emotional Manipulation Dom/sub Undertones (4) Mutual Pining (4)
February 28, 2025 at 6:24 AM
durandal.blog
Termsearched myself on fanlore like a sicko and this being my only mention is making me proud. Oldest GK longfic on ao3... All these bitches is my sons...
Fanlore text screenshot Fanfiction All mentioned information regarding AO3 is accurate as of September 2023. And I'm Home by MeronS. Text redacted for spoilers. tender prey by bloodletter, a completed English fanfiction where Sugimoto is transferred to the 7th division under Tsurumi pre-canon. Features Ogata/Sugimoto, Yuusaku & Ogata, Sugimoto & Tsurumi, and Ogata/Tsurumi. Rated Explicit. It is the oldest long-fic on AO3 and is only accessible to logged-in users of the website.
February 20, 2025 at 5:19 PM
durandal.blog
it's here.... the beefleaf-as-trans-gothic zine pdf.

attractions: family abolitionist reading of tgcf, circlusion motifs and being assigned-female-at-death, the grand unified theory of HE XUAN GENDER TRAGEDY, and more...

durandal.blog/zine-burial-... read her now!!!!!!

#tgcf #fanzines
zine cover. a distorted 19th century etching of a figure kneeling on rocks by a raging sea, extending their arms to the horizon with hair whipping in the wind. caption is "burial at sea: trans gothic and tian guan ci fu" what aspect of the beefleaf story/black water arc gives you the most feels? (14 responses) everything shi wudu did to protect his sibling, the way it took he xuan centuries to actually carry out his revenge, probably because of sqx being sqx. and hx not being able to actually kill sqx or disperse after he acted out his revenge. makes one wonder what that could possibly mean, yknow? when he xuan puts the shi siblings in a saw trap everything that happens in black water lair BETRAYAL!!!!! How close it feels like he xuan came to changing their mind and giving in to shi qingxuan’s pleas the bits where SQX is like “wow, love being friends with my pal!” and HX is doing a “I have no feelings about this”
February 20, 2025 at 12:12 AM
durandal.blog
ZINE PRINT RUN UNBOXING!!!!!
Box full of print copies of my beefleaf zine
February 13, 2025 at 9:10 PM
durandal.blog
Working on a little mini bonus thing to ship with the zines...
Spread from one page folding mini zine including tgcf official art and bits and pieces of text
February 13, 2025 at 4:13 AM
durandal.blog
4 characters who are me-coded... It's not that I am just like any individual one of these characters but I believe, taken in gestalt, the lineup... Communicates something. Vibes. And there are through-lines for those with eyes to see...
Nie huaisang from the mdzs donghua Shinobu wakamiya from chihayafuru Nerferpitou from hunter x hunter Nico do Angelo from Percy jackson
February 3, 2025 at 4:16 PM
durandal.blog
this zine asks:

what is trans gothic?
why am I so obsessed with beefleaf? what is their special sauce?
what does the use of gothic conventions accomplish within this arc and tgcf as a whole?
what does the discerning public think about beefleaf? (results of my BEEFLEAF MARKET RESEARCH SURVEY!!!)
screenshot of a pdf: Introduction > be me, 2020 > covid unemployed > everyone on twitter is watching the untamed > watch the untamed > exposed to broader mxtx fandom > see fanart of a yuri couple from one of her other books > they’re called beefleaf for some reason3 and also they’re transbians (???) > informed that beefleaf are neither lesbians nor trans > disappointed > read tgcf > become detached from the social dogma Like any gothic tale, this story is about obsession. Mine, in particular. But He Xuan’s, too.
January 28, 2025 at 12:34 AM
durandal.blog
BEEFLEAF ZINE!

72k, 16k word fanzine/literary essay. the dissertation to the MBF (master's in beefleaf) i inflicted on myself.

$13 USD plus shipping, limited print run, available for order through February 5, 2025 ONLY!

durandal.bigcartel.com/product/buri...

#tgcf #beefleaf
crop of a zine cover: a distorted 19th century etching of an ostensibly female figure, hair blowing wildly, kneeling on rocks by a stormy ocean with their arms outstretched to the sky. overtop, the text: "burial at sea: trans gothic and tian guan ci fu"
January 28, 2025 at 12:31 AM
durandal.blog
😺 shipping meme...
GET TO KNOW MY SHIPPING PREFERENCES & SHIPS (1 like = 1 answer) 1. List 3 shipping tropes you love 2. List 3 shipping tropes you don't love 3. One emotional aspect of a ship that always gets you 4. One physical aspect of a ship that always gets you 5. Multiship or Monoship? 6. Rare pairs or Mainstream? 7. Polyamory or Monogamy? 8. If the ship is physical, reversible or not? 9. Do you always have romantic ships for fandoms? 10. How important is the sexual part (if any) of your ship? 11. Opinion on platonic ships? 12. List 3 ships you currently love 13. List 5 OTPs from past fandoms 14. Opinion on the importance of marriage? 15. Opinion on OC kids?
November 17, 2024 at 10:24 PM
durandal.blog
Dark Fuck Princess He Xuan from my wip, art commish by @teardew.bsky.social... :^)
Digital illustration of He Xuan from TGCF in a ghostly female form. She is wearing flowy black, dark green, and dark blue robes with a titty window. The robes and long black hair somewhat resemble seaweed. Digital illustration of He Xuan, a spooky ghost with long dark hair looking very buxom and severe in flowy dark robes A close up portrait-style image of He Xuan, who is a ghost with a goth vibe, looking to the side broodily
November 17, 2024 at 9:29 PM
durandal.blog
but, no, we're all in on isolation and self-denial... love and companionship are NOT on the table...

anyway so there's that, but more importantly it makes me think of this dril tweet. fin.
dril tweet screencap: the xrays indicate you have a laughing skull in your stomach. you're deathpreg. don't you dare give birth to that bonehead in my office
November 16, 2024 at 8:42 PM
durandal.blog
I also made a (very long) playlist to go along with the fic. Welcome to He Xuan's twisted mind. headstone.dreamwidth.org/24017.html
Playlist cover: distorted black and white image of a person submerged in water, with a single hand breaching the surface Tracklist for Side A of the playlist Tracklist for side B
November 15, 2024 at 9:29 PM
durandal.blog
Do people do #wipwednesday on here... Is this thing on... Anyway #beefleaf
He Xuan trailed her fingers through the water in the pool, and remarked in an offhand fashion, "There are several blocked channels keeping the high tide out of the upper caves, but it would be trivial to cause the dams to fail." Gooseflesh prickled on Shi Qingxuan's arms. "You are the only one on the island who couldn't survive it," He Xuan added. After a pause, Shi Qingxuan replied, "I guess that's so." She felt an irrepressible desire to laugh. It was not a nervous laugh, but one borne of earnest joy, though the exact source of the joy was somewhat opaque. He Xuan did not smile back. Shi Qingxuan would have been perturbed if she had. Nevertheless, her eyes took on a particular cast that was only visible when she was in one of her warmer moods. Shi Qingxuan thought there must be something very wrong with herself to feel touched by this, but there it was. She was touched, and very much in love.
October 30, 2024 at 5:08 PM