Dumbdum
@dumbdum.bsky.social
We do it for decoration. That’s it and that’s all man.
Reposted by Dumbdum
Haven’t had to listen to Mariah Carey yet. Let’s keep this hot streak going.
November 29, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Haven’t had to listen to Mariah Carey yet. Let’s keep this hot streak going.
Reposted by Dumbdum
Interviewer: According to your resume, you’re one of the greatest fiction writers the world has ever known
Me: Yes, I wrote that
Me: Yes, I wrote that
December 27, 2024 at 5:22 AM
Interviewer: According to your resume, you’re one of the greatest fiction writers the world has ever known
Me: Yes, I wrote that
Me: Yes, I wrote that
Reposted by Dumbdum
“I have a name, you know. It’s Roscoe. My name is Roscoe.”—Pavlov’s dog
November 27, 2025 at 11:49 PM
“I have a name, you know. It’s Roscoe. My name is Roscoe.”—Pavlov’s dog
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If you’re 6’ or taller the “no elbows on the table” rule shouldn’t apply. A dinner table is too low to comfortably rest your forearms. It’s bad etiquette to make me suffer
November 27, 2025 at 10:11 PM
If you’re 6’ or taller the “no elbows on the table” rule shouldn’t apply. A dinner table is too low to comfortably rest your forearms. It’s bad etiquette to make me suffer
Reposted by Dumbdum
*i make my family sit in silence as stairway to heaven plays & i only start carving the turkey when the guitar solo begins*
November 27, 2025 at 10:20 PM
*i make my family sit in silence as stairway to heaven plays & i only start carving the turkey when the guitar solo begins*
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If anybody asks, we met at an urgent care.
November 26, 2025 at 9:12 PM
If anybody asks, we met at an urgent care.
Reposted by Dumbdum
The caffeine has hit my blood stream. I’m still indecisive, but I’m faster at it.
November 26, 2025 at 9:12 PM
The caffeine has hit my blood stream. I’m still indecisive, but I’m faster at it.
Reposted by Dumbdum
In the 90s, you could be fined or even jailed for not seeing Must-See TV
November 25, 2025 at 6:54 AM
In the 90s, you could be fined or even jailed for not seeing Must-See TV
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Charlie Brown’s eyes are both on the front of his head, implying that he is a predator
November 25, 2025 at 5:22 AM
Charlie Brown’s eyes are both on the front of his head, implying that he is a predator
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me: i have this recurring nightmare where Steven Tyler opens his mouth and swallows a microphone whole
therapist: i think that’s our time
therapist: i think that’s our time
November 25, 2025 at 6:21 AM
me: i have this recurring nightmare where Steven Tyler opens his mouth and swallows a microphone whole
therapist: i think that’s our time
therapist: i think that’s our time
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I remember most of my friends had jobs waiting for them at companies before they graduated college. Not me, tho. I was too busy sleeping with their moms.
September 21, 2025 at 4:34 AM
I remember most of my friends had jobs waiting for them at companies before they graduated college. Not me, tho. I was too busy sleeping with their moms.
Reposted by Dumbdum
I just saw a shadow thrown by a cloud that was shaped like a penis, does that mean 6 more weeks of wiener?
November 19, 2025 at 2:32 PM
I just saw a shadow thrown by a cloud that was shaped like a penis, does that mean 6 more weeks of wiener?
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My doctor: show me where it hurts
Me: *opening up bank app on my phone* here
Me: *opening up bank app on my phone* here
May 6, 2025 at 11:12 AM
My doctor: show me where it hurts
Me: *opening up bank app on my phone* here
Me: *opening up bank app on my phone* here
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When I “hide your reply from everyone”, I believe you should receive a moderate electric shock as a gentle rebuke to remind you that you are posting in a society and should conduct yourself accordingly. Operant conditioning as community management.
November 22, 2025 at 4:13 PM
When I “hide your reply from everyone”, I believe you should receive a moderate electric shock as a gentle rebuke to remind you that you are posting in a society and should conduct yourself accordingly. Operant conditioning as community management.
Reposted by Dumbdum
brotisserie chicken the rotisserie chicken for men
November 19, 2025 at 10:05 PM
brotisserie chicken the rotisserie chicken for men
Reposted by Dumbdum
if you tell your parents that you don’t want to have kids and they look offended, it’s because they’re thinking “damn, why didn’t I think of that“
November 22, 2025 at 3:38 AM
if you tell your parents that you don’t want to have kids and they look offended, it’s because they’re thinking “damn, why didn’t I think of that“
Reposted by Dumbdum
[Pillsbury marketing meeting 1965]
Weird Carl: ok so the doughboy, what if we tickled him?
Weird Carl: ok so the doughboy, what if we tickled him?
October 24, 2025 at 4:12 AM
[Pillsbury marketing meeting 1965]
Weird Carl: ok so the doughboy, what if we tickled him?
Weird Carl: ok so the doughboy, what if we tickled him?
Reposted by Dumbdum
Really, totally, seriously; no joke:
Nice butt
Nice butt
November 21, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Really, totally, seriously; no joke:
Nice butt
Nice butt
Reposted by Dumbdum
My grandma invented the phrase “stop eating all the Neopolitan candies you idiot”
November 17, 2025 at 11:23 PM
My grandma invented the phrase “stop eating all the Neopolitan candies you idiot”
Reposted by Dumbdum
Really counting on the collapse of western civilization to rectify all this credit card debt
November 17, 2025 at 12:19 AM
Really counting on the collapse of western civilization to rectify all this credit card debt
Reposted by Dumbdum
I may have lost the dick measuring contest but I definitely won the hearts of these Arby’s employees
November 17, 2025 at 3:28 AM
I may have lost the dick measuring contest but I definitely won the hearts of these Arby’s employees
Reposted by Dumbdum
Just saw a Little Caesars employee get betrayed by their coworkers.
November 8, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Just saw a Little Caesars employee get betrayed by their coworkers.
Reposted by Dumbdum
Just imagine if all the monotheistic faiths were worshipping the same god? How embarrassing would that be?
November 16, 2025 at 7:18 AM
Just imagine if all the monotheistic faiths were worshipping the same god? How embarrassing would that be?