Former Coolguy
@docmarvy.bsky.social
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern major disappointment.
My Monday morning news feed used to be “here’s what happened in the world while you slept,” and now it’s “Here’s the kooky SNL cold open you missed a couple nights ago.”
I wonder why we are so poorly informed.
I wonder why we are so poorly informed.
November 10, 2025 at 4:03 PM
My Monday morning news feed used to be “here’s what happened in the world while you slept,” and now it’s “Here’s the kooky SNL cold open you missed a couple nights ago.”
I wonder why we are so poorly informed.
I wonder why we are so poorly informed.
An enlarged prostate is no laughing matter.
Unless you’re juggling them.
Unless you’re juggling them.
November 7, 2025 at 5:22 PM
An enlarged prostate is no laughing matter.
Unless you’re juggling them.
Unless you’re juggling them.
YouTube is particularly great for people who like to watch Superstore asynchronously.
November 7, 2025 at 2:48 AM
YouTube is particularly great for people who like to watch Superstore asynchronously.
This is why we can't have nice things. apple.news/ANxiNTajCQme...
Enjoy CarPlay While You Still Can — The Atlantic
The auto industry is at war with Apple.
apple.news
November 5, 2025 at 2:31 AM
This is why we can't have nice things. apple.news/ANxiNTajCQme...
We’re all a big family here?
Oh that’s interesting. I don’t remember letting thousands of my family members go so we can be operationally leaner as a family. But sure.
Oh that’s interesting. I don’t remember letting thousands of my family members go so we can be operationally leaner as a family. But sure.
October 31, 2025 at 7:38 PM
We’re all a big family here?
Oh that’s interesting. I don’t remember letting thousands of my family members go so we can be operationally leaner as a family. But sure.
Oh that’s interesting. I don’t remember letting thousands of my family members go so we can be operationally leaner as a family. But sure.
When we were all working from home I lost zero productivity during the week riding the slowest elevators on earth trying to find a floor with a men’s room that wasn’t closed for cleaning. Didn’t even happen once. But now, thanks to RTO I must be losing a couple hours a week to it. Very cool!
October 31, 2025 at 6:17 PM
When we were all working from home I lost zero productivity during the week riding the slowest elevators on earth trying to find a floor with a men’s room that wasn’t closed for cleaning. Didn’t even happen once. But now, thanks to RTO I must be losing a couple hours a week to it. Very cool!
Coworker: [looks me up and down] So, who are you supposed to be dressed as?
Me: Oh, no. I’m always like this.
Me: Oh, no. I’m always like this.
October 31, 2025 at 2:52 PM
Coworker: [looks me up and down] So, who are you supposed to be dressed as?
Me: Oh, no. I’m always like this.
Me: Oh, no. I’m always like this.
🎼 I was jorking in the goon cave late one night when my eyes beheld a spooky sight. The Monster I was boofing began to spill and suddenly to no one’s thrill I pooped my pants. And did the safety dance…. 🎶 🎵 🎃
October 30, 2025 at 3:17 AM
🎼 I was jorking in the goon cave late one night when my eyes beheld a spooky sight. The Monster I was boofing began to spill and suddenly to no one’s thrill I pooped my pants. And did the safety dance…. 🎶 🎵 🎃
Do you even work in tech if you aren’t occasionally eating sad drive-thru lunch in your car?
October 24, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Do you even work in tech if you aren’t occasionally eating sad drive-thru lunch in your car?
I can only assume that someone who has done so much TV would be aware of optics. So it’s pretty clear the point of this is to rattle and distract. And it’s working. Insanely demoralizing stuff.
a live look at the demolition of the White House's East Wing for Trump's ballroom
October 23, 2025 at 4:50 PM
I can only assume that someone who has done so much TV would be aware of optics. So it’s pretty clear the point of this is to rattle and distract. And it’s working. Insanely demoralizing stuff.
Am I misremembering or on early seasons of Halloween Baking Championship contestants would make like nice looking but Halloween themed treats? This season everything is so gross. The main bakes, the judge costumes, gross gross gross. It’s insane that this is on a food channel.
October 15, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Am I misremembering or on early seasons of Halloween Baking Championship contestants would make like nice looking but Halloween themed treats? This season everything is so gross. The main bakes, the judge costumes, gross gross gross. It’s insane that this is on a food channel.
Me: okay I’m going to close the bathroom door for some privacy.
My cat: TF you are.
My cat: TF you are.
October 9, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Me: okay I’m going to close the bathroom door for some privacy.
My cat: TF you are.
My cat: TF you are.
Aside from being familiar with the name and knowing it’s an internet person of some sort. I didn’t know anything about Hassan Piker (sp?) a couple days ago.
Now I know ONE thing about him. And it’s not great.
Now I know ONE thing about him. And it’s not great.
October 9, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Aside from being familiar with the name and knowing it’s an internet person of some sort. I didn’t know anything about Hassan Piker (sp?) a couple days ago.
Now I know ONE thing about him. And it’s not great.
Now I know ONE thing about him. And it’s not great.
Allow me to translate: “Here’s the deal, fuck the poor. We do not care about our rural base who will vote for us no matter how atrociously we treat them. We work for billionaires. Full stop.”
SCARBOROUGH: The Nebraska Rural Health Association says at least 6 rural hospitals would have to close bc of the big beautiful bill
FLOOD: Here's the deal: Some hospitals that are rural hospitals are going to eventually have to transition from being acute bed hospitals into being an ER model
FLOOD: Here's the deal: Some hospitals that are rural hospitals are going to eventually have to transition from being acute bed hospitals into being an ER model
October 9, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Allow me to translate: “Here’s the deal, fuck the poor. We do not care about our rural base who will vote for us no matter how atrociously we treat them. We work for billionaires. Full stop.”
What really drives me crazy is Bad Bunny is quite literally a representation of the American Dream. Dude realized it and hustled to be one of the biggest in the world. That the perpetually outraged right can’t/won’t recognize that is stunning and gross.
October 4, 2025 at 4:25 PM
What really drives me crazy is Bad Bunny is quite literally a representation of the American Dream. Dude realized it and hustled to be one of the biggest in the world. That the perpetually outraged right can’t/won’t recognize that is stunning and gross.
Reposted by Former Coolguy
If anyone can give farmers access to international markets its the guy who closed off access to international markets
Joni Ernst: "Unfortunately, our farmers do need that assistance. They don't like it. They consider it welfare. They want trade, not aid. So we really need to see some of these new markets opening up around the globe ... but if there's anybody that can make a deal, it's President Trump."
October 3, 2025 at 1:38 PM
If anyone can give farmers access to international markets its the guy who closed off access to international markets
Although he’s pretty close to the time-eating meatball monster from the Langoliers TV movie.
October 2, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Although he’s pretty close to the time-eating meatball monster from the Langoliers TV movie.
“They want to give free health care to illegal immigrants” is the new “they have litter boxes in the school bathrooms” and “they’re eating the dogs and cats.” In other words a lie the right perpetuates for rage clicks.
Don’t fall for it folks.
Don’t fall for it folks.
October 2, 2025 at 4:53 PM
“They want to give free health care to illegal immigrants” is the new “they have litter boxes in the school bathrooms” and “they’re eating the dogs and cats.” In other words a lie the right perpetuates for rage clicks.
Don’t fall for it folks.
Don’t fall for it folks.
Kind of amazing that the Infinity Castle doesn’t even seem to have one infinity pool. Real missed opportunity there, Muzan.
September 30, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Kind of amazing that the Infinity Castle doesn’t even seem to have one infinity pool. Real missed opportunity there, Muzan.
I want what they have.
September 26, 2025 at 10:16 PM
I want what they have.
Reposted by Former Coolguy
As far as many people are concerned this is the text of the First Amendment
September 26, 2025 at 2:51 PM
As far as many people are concerned this is the text of the First Amendment
Hitting the ol’ “that’s enough internet for me today” pretty early on a Thursday.
September 25, 2025 at 4:21 PM
Hitting the ol’ “that’s enough internet for me today” pretty early on a Thursday.
A Legionnaire at the 1975 Philly Convention:
Hey the water from my air conditioner is prolly super safe right
September 18, 2025 at 2:48 AM
A Legionnaire at the 1975 Philly Convention:
A few weeks ago I had given away my still mostly-functional 2019 27" iMac. I was living that iOS-only life. Adrift. Now I'm surrounded by three displays running macOS 26 Tahoe on my M4 mini. You simply cannot ignore the computational glow up.
September 18, 2025 at 2:42 AM
A few weeks ago I had given away my still mostly-functional 2019 27" iMac. I was living that iOS-only life. Adrift. Now I'm surrounded by three displays running macOS 26 Tahoe on my M4 mini. You simply cannot ignore the computational glow up.
So how much longer are we going to pretend that this isn’t exactly what it looks like it is? And you know damn well what I mean.
September 18, 2025 at 1:11 AM
So how much longer are we going to pretend that this isn’t exactly what it looks like it is? And you know damn well what I mean.