Dmitry
@dmitry.mclachbot.com
I like Chelsea Football Club
I also like to complain about Chelsea Football Club
I also like to complain about Chelsea Football Club
Garnacho against Wolves yesterday. Led the team in xA (1.26) and successful deliveries into penalty area (10) and provided relentless passing threat into dangerous areas.
November 9, 2025 at 9:43 AM
Garnacho against Wolves yesterday. Led the team in xA (1.26) and successful deliveries into penalty area (10) and provided relentless passing threat into dangerous areas.
He's a crazy stat for you. At 58 kg, he'd be in a three way tie for the fourth lightest player on the *Chelsea women's* team
November 3, 2025 at 10:38 AM
He's a crazy stat for you. At 58 kg, he'd be in a three way tie for the fourth lightest player on the *Chelsea women's* team
Anyway, here's a Claude AI generated list of all the players Chelsea have signed from Bundesliga since 2000, and I'll let you be the judge on how many of these actually turned out to be worth it.
November 3, 2025 at 10:32 AM
Anyway, here's a Claude AI generated list of all the players Chelsea have signed from Bundesliga since 2000, and I'll let you be the judge on how many of these actually turned out to be worth it.
And no, to preempt the inevitable replies, it's not because Frank is a defensive manager. This level of ineptitude transcends style. I think it simply comes down to the fact that he's physically overmatched in the premier league
November 3, 2025 at 10:21 AM
And no, to preempt the inevitable replies, it's not because Frank is a defensive manager. This level of ineptitude transcends style. I think it simply comes down to the fact that he's physically overmatched in the premier league
Now, Xavi Simons OTOH has been pure garbage. Aside from being kind of active defensively which is think is more a reflection of how Thomas Frank sets up than his own skill, there's nothing there.
Anyway, I collectively refer to this chart as Shit Butterfly
Anyway, I collectively refer to this chart as Shit Butterfly
November 3, 2025 at 10:21 AM
Now, Xavi Simons OTOH has been pure garbage. Aside from being kind of active defensively which is think is more a reflection of how Thomas Frank sets up than his own skill, there's nothing there.
Anyway, I collectively refer to this chart as Shit Butterfly
Anyway, I collectively refer to this chart as Shit Butterfly
I don't really know what we're to do with the fact that Aaron Anselmino appears to both be very good and also literally made our of papier mache
October 31, 2025 at 9:58 PM
I don't really know what we're to do with the fact that Aaron Anselmino appears to both be very good and also literally made our of papier mache
I don't even have a picture for Panichelli in my database yet but the guy is putting up ridiculous numbers. Strasbourg aren't going to miss Emegha at all when he moves to Chelsea.
October 30, 2025 at 12:03 PM
I don't even have a picture for Panichelli in my database yet but the guy is putting up ridiculous numbers. Strasbourg aren't going to miss Emegha at all when he moves to Chelsea.
Tosin yesterday lost 3 out of 4 aerial duels in or near our penalty box yesterday, which is just brutal considering that being a tall guy who wins headers is his entire raison d'etre
(Red triangle - aerial duel lost, green triangle - aerial duel won)
(Red triangle - aerial duel lost, green triangle - aerial duel won)
October 30, 2025 at 7:57 AM
Tosin yesterday lost 3 out of 4 aerial duels in or near our penalty box yesterday, which is just brutal considering that being a tall guy who wins headers is his entire raison d'etre
(Red triangle - aerial duel lost, green triangle - aerial duel won)
(Red triangle - aerial duel lost, green triangle - aerial duel won)
Euphoria followed by disappointment
August 5, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Euphoria followed by disappointment
As a final point, I do want to share this absolutely hilarious shot map.
This is clearly a Roberto Carlos homage.
This is clearly a Roberto Carlos homage.
August 5, 2025 at 10:15 PM
As a final point, I do want to share this absolutely hilarious shot map.
This is clearly a Roberto Carlos homage.
This is clearly a Roberto Carlos homage.
People on twitter telling me it just means they're good finishers
August 5, 2025 at 10:04 PM
People on twitter telling me it just means they're good finishers
Guess which despicable location the Mclachbot family is at
July 23, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Guess which despicable location the Mclachbot family is at
Lol, I'm too good at this
July 22, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Lol, I'm too good at this
Here's where we started. 10 minutes later and 500 lines of code, its nowhere near finishing the assignment. This would probably be 50 lines of code if I wrote it by hand.
July 22, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Here's where we started. 10 minutes later and 500 lines of code, its nowhere near finishing the assignment. This would probably be 50 lines of code if I wrote it by hand.
A strategy so nice, they did it twice!
July 18, 2025 at 1:23 PM
A strategy so nice, they did it twice!
Malo Gusto 2023 vs 2024
Obviously, you can see him attempting a lot more passes from central positions this season. But he does not try many progressive/line breaking passes from these central positions. As a result, his passing metrics have been worse than last season.
Obviously, you can see him attempting a lot more passes from central positions this season. But he does not try many progressive/line breaking passes from these central positions. As a result, his passing metrics have been worse than last season.
July 15, 2025 at 8:56 AM
Malo Gusto 2023 vs 2024
Obviously, you can see him attempting a lot more passes from central positions this season. But he does not try many progressive/line breaking passes from these central positions. As a result, his passing metrics have been worse than last season.
Obviously, you can see him attempting a lot more passes from central positions this season. But he does not try many progressive/line breaking passes from these central positions. As a result, his passing metrics have been worse than last season.
What in God's good name is this hideous rebrand?
July 13, 2025 at 1:40 PM
What in God's good name is this hideous rebrand?
I don't think he's shown any real progression in the last two years. He's now 22, and putting up numbers like this. That's not that exciting
July 13, 2025 at 9:32 AM
I don't think he's shown any real progression in the last two years. He's now 22, and putting up numbers like this. That's not that exciting
Hmm. I'm very curious where @mclachbot.com got mentioned. It wasn't on bsky (nothing in the mentions)
June 24, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Hmm. I'm very curious where @mclachbot.com got mentioned. It wasn't on bsky (nothing in the mentions)
Negotiating my next head coaching contract while on holidays
June 18, 2025 at 2:12 PM
Negotiating my next head coaching contract while on holidays
Right, see you all in 5 years
June 11, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Right, see you all in 5 years
There's absolutely nothing in the data to suggest this is someone we should be investing in. I saw people suggest he's a good passer? No, he's an incredibly conservative passer, that's not the same thing. Nothing in the air. Low volume of defensive engagements. Bad passive defending numbers. Why?
June 9, 2025 at 10:24 AM
There's absolutely nothing in the data to suggest this is someone we should be investing in. I saw people suggest he's a good passer? No, he's an incredibly conservative passer, that's not the same thing. Nothing in the air. Low volume of defensive engagements. Bad passive defending numbers. Why?