Dmitry
@dmitry.mclachbot.com
I like Chelsea Football Club
I also like to complain about Chelsea Football Club
I also like to complain about Chelsea Football Club
One day, behavioural science will be advanced enough to explain how Morgan Rogers is considered by so many to be one of the best players in the league despite having a literal flaming pile of dog poop for statistical profile
November 11, 2025 at 8:23 AM
One day, behavioural science will be advanced enough to explain how Morgan Rogers is considered by so many to be one of the best players in the league despite having a literal flaming pile of dog poop for statistical profile
This is a very dumb stat but guess which player in the premier league has the highest take on success rate with at least 7 attempted?
November 10, 2025 at 10:01 AM
This is a very dumb stat but guess which player in the premier league has the highest take on success rate with at least 7 attempted?
Fun stat to highlight both how good he's been and also the absolutely dire state of striker quality in the Premier League:
Enzo Fernandez is currently 4th in the league in total NPxG (3.8). Not 4th amongst midfielders, 4th overall.
Enzo Fernandez is currently 4th in the league in total NPxG (3.8). Not 4th amongst midfielders, 4th overall.
November 10, 2025 at 8:00 AM
Fun stat to highlight both how good he's been and also the absolutely dire state of striker quality in the Premier League:
Enzo Fernandez is currently 4th in the league in total NPxG (3.8). Not 4th amongst midfielders, 4th overall.
Enzo Fernandez is currently 4th in the league in total NPxG (3.8). Not 4th amongst midfielders, 4th overall.
Garnacho against Wolves yesterday. Led the team in xA (1.26) and successful deliveries into penalty area (10) and provided relentless passing threat into dangerous areas.
November 9, 2025 at 9:43 AM
Garnacho against Wolves yesterday. Led the team in xA (1.26) and successful deliveries into penalty area (10) and provided relentless passing threat into dangerous areas.
Reposted by Dmitry
NEW EPISODE! A bit later in the week than usual... but we got to talk about three games with the excellent @dmitry.mclachbot.com and ponder on the issue of our revolving centre backs. #CFC #ChelseaFC #TheChelseaPodcast #KTBFFH
open.spotify.com/episode/60HF...
open.spotify.com/episode/60HF...
The Mixed Bag Episode
open.spotify.com
November 7, 2025 at 12:15 PM
NEW EPISODE! A bit later in the week than usual... but we got to talk about three games with the excellent @dmitry.mclachbot.com and ponder on the issue of our revolving centre backs. #CFC #ChelseaFC #TheChelseaPodcast #KTBFFH
open.spotify.com/episode/60HF...
open.spotify.com/episode/60HF...
Anyway, here's a Claude AI generated list of all the players Chelsea have signed from Bundesliga since 2000, and I'll let you be the judge on how many of these actually turned out to be worth it.
November 3, 2025 at 10:32 AM
Anyway, here's a Claude AI generated list of all the players Chelsea have signed from Bundesliga since 2000, and I'll let you be the judge on how many of these actually turned out to be worth it.
Over the weekend someone pointed out to me that both Xavi Simons and Florian Wirtz have been found out as physically unusable in the premier league and I don't think it's exactly right. Wirtz actually had decent underlying numbers - he's xG+xA p90 is 0.44.
November 3, 2025 at 10:20 AM
Over the weekend someone pointed out to me that both Xavi Simons and Florian Wirtz have been found out as physically unusable in the premier league and I don't think it's exactly right. Wirtz actually had decent underlying numbers - he's xG+xA p90 is 0.44.
I don't really know what we're to do with the fact that Aaron Anselmino appears to both be very good and also literally made our of papier mache
October 31, 2025 at 9:58 PM
I don't really know what we're to do with the fact that Aaron Anselmino appears to both be very good and also literally made our of papier mache
I don't even have a picture for Panichelli in my database yet but the guy is putting up ridiculous numbers. Strasbourg aren't going to miss Emegha at all when he moves to Chelsea.
October 30, 2025 at 12:03 PM
I don't even have a picture for Panichelli in my database yet but the guy is putting up ridiculous numbers. Strasbourg aren't going to miss Emegha at all when he moves to Chelsea.
Tosin yesterday lost 3 out of 4 aerial duels in or near our penalty box yesterday, which is just brutal considering that being a tall guy who wins headers is his entire raison d'etre
(Red triangle - aerial duel lost, green triangle - aerial duel won)
(Red triangle - aerial duel lost, green triangle - aerial duel won)
October 30, 2025 at 7:57 AM
Tosin yesterday lost 3 out of 4 aerial duels in or near our penalty box yesterday, which is just brutal considering that being a tall guy who wins headers is his entire raison d'etre
(Red triangle - aerial duel lost, green triangle - aerial duel won)
(Red triangle - aerial duel lost, green triangle - aerial duel won)
I cannot wait to see what kind of dumb shit this club tries to do tomorrow!
August 31, 2025 at 10:39 PM
I cannot wait to see what kind of dumb shit this club tries to do tomorrow!
Ok, this is the nerdiest thing I'll ever admit here, but I tried asking ChatGPT to run a D&D campaign for me acting as a DM... And it's pretty good?
August 8, 2025 at 1:03 PM
Ok, this is the nerdiest thing I'll ever admit here, but I tried asking ChatGPT to run a D&D campaign for me acting as a DM... And it's pretty good?
If Manchester United do end up buying Sesko for £80m, they will have spent £210m on three attackers that outperformed their xG last season by a combined 16.5 goals.
Zero red flags, no notes, would buy again.
Zero red flags, no notes, would buy again.
August 5, 2025 at 9:54 PM
If Manchester United do end up buying Sesko for £80m, they will have spent £210m on three attackers that outperformed their xG last season by a combined 16.5 goals.
Zero red flags, no notes, would buy again.
Zero red flags, no notes, would buy again.
This thread is absolutely fucking sending me
Zoopla's new AI room designer sure is something.
Just look at this run-down living room. With a bit of TLC you could have... er... toilet stairs?
Why have a window when you could have some lovely art? Like this picture of bricks!
Just look at this run-down living room. With a bit of TLC you could have... er... toilet stairs?
Why have a window when you could have some lovely art? Like this picture of bricks!
August 5, 2025 at 8:35 PM
This thread is absolutely fucking sending me
Is there some other West End I'm not familiar with? Because the one I know, you can't turn without bumping into a huge group of tourists at 9 pm and much later.
The idea that no one walks around the West End after nine pm is just absolute hokum.
August 4, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Is there some other West End I'm not familiar with? Because the one I know, you can't turn without bumping into a huge group of tourists at 9 pm and much later.
Garnacho fan club assemble
August 4, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Garnacho fan club assemble
My only take on the Sidney Sweeney "controversy" is that every time I see a photo of her, I am totally creeped out by her dead, soulless eyes.
August 3, 2025 at 10:40 AM
My only take on the Sidney Sweeney "controversy" is that every time I see a photo of her, I am totally creeped out by her dead, soulless eyes.
Quantico Quaresma crying at home that he missed out on this.
Chelsea invited Trump to present the Club World Cup trophy after beating PSG. His unexpected lengthy presence confused players, while his son Eric stated Chelsea viewed it as an honor, despite players' mixed feelings. By Matt Debono. Sports Illustrated
Donald Trump's son: Chelsea invited US President for Club World Cup trophy lift
Chelsea requested US President Donald Trump to be part of the 2025 Club World Cup celebrations, his son Eric has claimed.
www.si.com
July 30, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Quantico Quaresma crying at home that he missed out on this.
Reposted by Dmitry
Jorrel Hato pod is out.
TL;DW/L good prospect for the role targeted, appropriately priced, nice work!
Spotify: open.spotify.com/episode/4WMD...
Youtube: youtu.be/WLYcKq7jEIs
TL;DW/L good prospect for the role targeted, appropriately priced, nice work!
Spotify: open.spotify.com/episode/4WMD...
Youtube: youtu.be/WLYcKq7jEIs
Should Chelsea Sign Jorrel Hato?
YouTube video by KierDoyle
youtu.be
July 30, 2025 at 4:22 AM
Jorrel Hato pod is out.
TL;DW/L good prospect for the role targeted, appropriately priced, nice work!
Spotify: open.spotify.com/episode/4WMD...
Youtube: youtu.be/WLYcKq7jEIs
TL;DW/L good prospect for the role targeted, appropriately priced, nice work!
Spotify: open.spotify.com/episode/4WMD...
Youtube: youtu.be/WLYcKq7jEIs
"What the fuck is "Willis tower"?"
- every Chicagoan everywhere, including those like myself who haven't lived there in a decade
- every Chicagoan everywhere, including those like myself who haven't lived there in a decade
If you're getting ready to correct me about the "Willis Tower," please instead slap yourself in the teeth and/or nuts. Dealer's choice.
July 29, 2025 at 11:01 AM
"What the fuck is "Willis tower"?"
- every Chicagoan everywhere, including those like myself who haven't lived there in a decade
- every Chicagoan everywhere, including those like myself who haven't lived there in a decade
I don't think it makes any sense for us to go for Donnarumma
July 27, 2025 at 12:20 PM
I don't think it makes any sense for us to go for Donnarumma
I usually try to not make very specific predictions but I think Arsenal would be quite lucky to get 15 league goals out of Gyokeres this season.
July 26, 2025 at 10:13 PM
I usually try to not make very specific predictions but I think Arsenal would be quite lucky to get 15 league goals out of Gyokeres this season.
Reposted by Dmitry
Yep, bypassing the local id restrictions really is as simple as a VPN. Completely worthwhile and utterly meaningful lawmaking in action.
July 24, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Yep, bypassing the local id restrictions really is as simple as a VPN. Completely worthwhile and utterly meaningful lawmaking in action.
Way too much SZA not enough Kendrick, btw.
July 24, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Way too much SZA not enough Kendrick, btw.