Would I!!! I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am about the prospect, but dangit, I'm going to try!

*pounding palm on table* CHA-LANT! CHA-LANT! CHA-LANT!

An old friend of mine liked:

Find a penny on the street. (Any coin will do.)
Set it over a candle flame.
Once it is too hot to touch, return it to *precisely* where you found it. (Burning yourself is optional and she was of two minds.)

I ran across this poem for the first time in July and it immediately established itself as one of those onion-knife-emoji poems and has not stopped being so since.

there must be fifty ways to miss the summer

THIS is the quality content we all need

I'm having the morbs, orbs
I'm down in the dumps, chumps
My emotions are a yoke, folks
It's the seasonal bends, friends
Neurotransmitter smear, queers

Waiter serving the Raccoon who Wants Eggs: ah yes, a very normal number of essays

Tootsie Pop Owl voice: One...two...three...Three!

The Count: Three! Three essays! Ah-ah-ah!

The Raccoon who Wants Eggs (excitedly): Five essays! I mean eggs!

Such a wonderful, beautiful thing! I'm so glad for you.

As recently as last year it was trivial, both by mail and by travelers crossing the border. (Liquid Benadryl comes in clove flavor in Canada! we only get cloyingly disgusting "cherry" flavor or something in the US). I'm sorry I don't have more recent updates, though.

@fiascothecat.bsky.social hey can I have a hint, I want to know if @premeemohamed.com is innocent or a criminal

It is time, you absolutely do need to get out of bed now.

Right there with you. It's really got a walking-in-wet-socks vibe to me!

Depending on the circumstances, I like "caress", or "toy with", or "paw at", or "cup" or "cradle", or "grope".

if it was _consistently_ "goes under" there would be some obvious suggestions for where you might start your next newsletter!

For sale, baby shoes, never won