Todd Eschlund
LightNews LightNews
deathmaw.bsky.social
Todd Eschlund
@deathmaw.bsky.social
260 followers 150 following 2.3K posts
Reader of books, player of games, occasional werewolf.
Posts Replies Media Videos
deathmaw.bsky.social
“Well, I’m looking at a pair of boobies.”
A pair of blue-footed boobies, which is a species of bird found on the Galápagos Islands.
December 4, 2025 at 5:07 PM
deathmaw.bsky.social
My current mental state:
November 26, 2025 at 5:37 PM
deathmaw.bsky.social
Violets are blue
Roses are red
Your window was open
I’m under your bed
Kermit the Frog as imagined by Ridley Scott.
November 19, 2025 at 6:44 PM
deathmaw.bsky.social
We’d get this guy:
A man whose face is ink black on the right side and chalk white on the left side.
November 19, 2025 at 6:38 PM
deathmaw.bsky.social
And of the three, only the mantis meets all of the modern beauty standards, as shown on this handy chart:
A picture of a praying mantis, captioned as “Modern Beauty Standards”. The various parts of the mantis are labeled as: Big eyes Small face Sharp chin Thin waist Huge butt Skinny legs
November 8, 2025 at 6:33 PM
deathmaw.bsky.social
“I will peck out your f*cking eyes and feast on your soul if you even THINK about taking one step closer!”
A black bird with a yellow beak. The bird looks like it’s ready (and able) to kill a whole pride of lions. This bird’s face looks like rage incarnate.
November 2, 2025 at 3:06 AM
deathmaw.bsky.social
Nice! This will definitely come in handy. Also, if you’re, this thing is (possibly) available:
A Rare Wondrous item called Brynjar’s Brobdingnagian Briefcase The description reads: This briefcase has two central compartments and six secondary compartments, each of which is an extradimensional space. Each secondary compartment can hold up to 10 pounds of material, not exceeding a volume of 1 cubic foot. Both central compartments can hold hold up to 4 cubic feet or 40 pounds of material. The briefcase always weighs 5 pounds, regardless of its contents. Placing an object in the briefcase follows the normal rules for interacting with objects. Retrieving an item from the briefcase requires you to use an action. When you reach into the briefcase for a specific item, the item is always magically on top. The briefcase has limitations. If it is overloaded, or if a sharp object pierces or tears it, the briefcase ruptures and is destroyed. If the briefcase is destroyed, its contents are lost forever, although an artifact always turns up again somewhere. If a breathing creature is placed within the briefcase, the creature can survive for up to 10 minutes, after which time it begins to suffocate. Placing the briefcase inside an extradimensional space created by a Bag of Holding, Portable Hole, or similar item instantly destroys both items and opens a portal to the Astral Plane. The portal originates where the one item was placed inside the other. Any creature within 10 feet of the portal is sucked through it and deposited in a random location on the Astral Plane. The portal then closes. The portal is one-way and can’t be reopened.
October 13, 2025 at 7:31 PM
deathmaw.bsky.social
Funny thing. I just updated my BlueSky app, and the first thing it did when I reopened it was throw this in my face:
A pop-up notification announcing the ability to save posts. The example post shown is from Jerry Chen, which reads “Inventing a Saturday that immediately follows Monday”.
October 1, 2025 at 2:52 PM
deathmaw.bsky.social
There’s also this one:
A picture of an amulet titled Amulet of the Archmage. The amulet requires attunement by a spellcaster. It’s description states: While wearing this amulet, you have twice your normal number of spell slots. Curse. This item is cursed. While attuned to this amulet, you cannot cast spells of any kind (including cantrips), nor can you use magic items that cast spells.
September 24, 2025 at 6:08 PM
deathmaw.bsky.social
Here’s a screenshot:
A picture of a Yongyao cordless hair dryer, along with a charging cable and a wall charger.
September 13, 2025 at 7:26 PM
deathmaw.bsky.social
Gowron glaring at the viewer while the caption says “Stares in Klingon”.
September 6, 2025 at 10:57 PM
deathmaw.bsky.social
A close up image of the head of a bird that looks intensely unpleased.
August 26, 2025 at 3:28 PM
deathmaw.bsky.social
A close up of a bird that looks very displeased.
August 26, 2025 at 4:32 AM
deathmaw.bsky.social
It’s better than the kitchen that looks like the One Eyed, One Horned, Flying Purple People Eater exploded in it.
A kitchen with vibrant purple cabinets, with marble countertops and floors that have swirling purple patterns in them. It looks like the One Eyed, One Horned, Flying Purple People Eater exploded in there.
August 4, 2025 at 6:14 AM
deathmaw.bsky.social
The states of Idaho and Montana above a picture of Picard & Q. Picard & Q are positioned so that they resemble the way Idaho (Picard) & Montana (Q) border one another.
August 3, 2025 at 4:37 AM
deathmaw.bsky.social
An image of a Klingon with a not-so-pleased expression. The caption says “Stares in Klingon”.
July 31, 2025 at 4:53 PM
deathmaw.bsky.social
Two pictures, one above the other. The top picture is if the Black Knight from Monty Python & the Holy Grail just after having one of his arms chopped off. The caption says “Me falling out of a tree as a kid: Tis but a scratch”. The second picture is of King Theoden after being crushed by his horse in Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. The caption says “Me after sleeping in a weird position as an adult: My body is broken”.
July 27, 2025 at 8:30 PM
deathmaw.bsky.social
A picture of a crow and a raven. In this image, the crow is the one next to the raven.

For reference, a crow is a bird; a raven is a beak with a bird attached to it.
A raven (left) and a crow (right). The crow is smaller and has smooth feathers, looking very distinguished and living up to its name. The raven looks like it’s going through a rough divorce. Its feathers are ruffled like someone gave it a noogie all over its body, and it looks completely unhinged, like it won’t sign the divorce papers because it knows you’re coming back. Also living up to its name.
July 24, 2025 at 2:42 PM
deathmaw.bsky.social
A black bird with a yellow beak. It looks unhappy. One might even say it looks angry.
July 19, 2025 at 5:25 AM
deathmaw.bsky.social
The companion:
Three dogs peeking out from a hole in a fence. They are positioned such that they look like a single three-headed dog.
July 10, 2025 at 6:04 PM
deathmaw.bsky.social
Oh yeah? Well
A picture of a Wizard casting a spell. The caption says “I cast No Cellular Signal”.
July 1, 2025 at 4:47 AM
deathmaw.bsky.social
I’m pretty sure that’s what’s going on in this picture:
A young boy on a couch with his legs completely hidden by the cushions, making it look like he only has a torso.
June 24, 2025 at 1:22 PM
deathmaw.bsky.social
You use superglue to repair a split glasses frame. I use piercings to hold my lenses*. We are not the same.

*Wait, no I don’t. Wth am I talking about?!

external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%...
An example of piercings on the nasal bridge that can be used for prescription (on non-prescription) lenses.
June 13, 2025 at 3:40 PM
deathmaw.bsky.social
I saw those in a post by @markhamillofficial.bsky.social that was full of them. 🤣Here’s a screenshot:
A post with various derogatory names for the Executive Oompa Loompa, such as Al Ca-porn; Julius Squeezer; the Shart of the Deal; Mayor McCut the Cheese; Groper Cleveland; Sleepy Donzales; Burger Jean King; Donny Nappleseed; Yabba Dabba Doofus; His MAGA-sty; Genghis Don; Donny D-Cups; Donye West; Donald Duck the Draft; Kim Don Un; the Notorious P.I.G.; Hair Mussolini; Phony Soprano
June 6, 2025 at 7:06 PM
deathmaw.bsky.social
A Litterbox Comics version of the Matt Damon aging meme. The caption says “When you realize we’re farther away from 1990 than 1990 was from 1960”.
May 27, 2025 at 3:14 PM