Dark Helmet
@darkhelmetsb.bsky.social
Dark Helmet, Lord of the Schwartz, Leader of the Imperious Forces of the Spaceballs. Coffee and radar enthusiast. Parody/semi-RP comedy. Crosses the streams mercilessly.
Are you saying that I can't Schwartz my underlings when they screw up, or just because it's Thursday?
November 13, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Are you saying that I can't Schwartz my underlings when they screw up, or just because it's Thursday?
Space Pope Karen
November 13, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Space Pope Karen
The executions will continue until morale improves.
November 11, 2025 at 8:35 PM
The executions will continue until morale improves.
How about this rhyme?
Roses are red,
My helmet is black.
When you get Schwartzed
They don't grow back.
Roses are red,
My helmet is black.
When you get Schwartzed
They don't grow back.
November 11, 2025 at 12:23 AM
How about this rhyme?
Roses are red,
My helmet is black.
When you get Schwartzed
They don't grow back.
Roses are red,
My helmet is black.
When you get Schwartzed
They don't grow back.
YOU UNDERSTAND "BRIVARI", YES?
November 9, 2025 at 1:48 AM
YOU UNDERSTAND "BRIVARI", YES?
Remember, don't drink and Schwartz.
November 8, 2025 at 2:07 PM
Remember, don't drink and Schwartz.
Ludicrous speed drinking- GO!
November 8, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Ludicrous speed drinking- GO!
Computer, activate the Emergency Culinary Hologram.
November 3, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Computer, activate the Emergency Culinary Hologram.
Lieutenant Yar, we need to talk.
November 3, 2025 at 3:33 PM
Lieutenant Yar, we need to talk.
::pushes the button::
November 2, 2025 at 12:13 AM
::pushes the button::
::drifts into the bar as a ghost::
I'm here for the boo-ze.
I'm here for the boo-ze.
October 31, 2025 at 3:14 PM
::drifts into the bar as a ghost::
I'm here for the boo-ze.
I'm here for the boo-ze.
Oh. Apparently I'm dead again.
I guess I am getting into the Halloween spirit.
I guess I am getting into the Halloween spirit.
October 30, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Oh. Apparently I'm dead again.
I guess I am getting into the Halloween spirit.
I guess I am getting into the Halloween spirit.
Why are the alarms going off? And why is the computer counting backwards?
October 29, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Why are the alarms going off? And why is the computer counting backwards?
I'm not sure what @notbrocli.bsky.social is dressed as for Halloween. A pilot of some kind?
October 28, 2025 at 12:52 PM
I'm not sure what @notbrocli.bsky.social is dressed as for Halloween. A pilot of some kind?
The executions will continue until morale improves.
October 27, 2025 at 4:53 PM
The executions will continue until morale improves.
I'm not sure what @annoyedobrien.bsky.social's Halloween costume is supposed to be.
October 27, 2025 at 12:20 PM
I'm not sure what @annoyedobrien.bsky.social's Halloween costume is supposed to be.
@theolalfer.bsky.social, there is a delivery for you.
October 26, 2025 at 12:53 PM
@theolalfer.bsky.social, there is a delivery for you.