Hopefully this little lesson helps people understand how they can REALLY make it up to their friends, in the event they mess up and get them hurt.

Because "amends" can, sometimes, be a smokescreen for manipulation or abuse, and knowing to spot the difference protects us all.

And regret ALWAYS leaves you over your victims, and leaves them worse than when you left them. It doesn't try to heal, only to patch up, and attempts to devalue others when they RIGHTFULLY feel hurt.

You might regret saying those words or doing those actions, but sometimes it's because you could say or do them again, because YOU lost something or someone that would let you.

If you try to fix things for YOUR benefit, that's regret. You center yourself, NOT the ones you harmed.

Regret is you
- seeking a different path than the one you took,
- viewing the harm YOU suffered, and how YOU can fix it,
- interpreting a victim's harm as wrong or invalid, and trying to "right" it.

Regret is a feeling of failure. Of messing something up. But it is NOT remorse.

This is how amends are made. Remorse, when genuine and when paired with hard work ad empathy, will leave you more mature, more emotionally intelligent, at the end.

It will hurt.

It will never be the same as it was.

You can't go back to normal because that normal is gone. Burnt. Obliterated.

But if you are truly remorseful, you LET yourself hurt like this, because you see the need to be better, and to help your victim heal.

If you are remorseful, you center the victim first.

You accept that you caused harm to the victim and empathize with how they feel about you in a compassionate and supportive manner.

You make amends their way. You put in work they want you to put in. You back off EXACTLY when they request it.

Remorse is you
- understanding the harm in your actions or words,
- acknowledging your responsibility in causing said harm,
- and comprehending the need to work towards bettering yourself not only to fix the harm you caused, but prevent it from ever happening again in future.

Sorry but I'm 100% gonna nix a book from my library if it's written by a terrible person.

Even Hitler was an artist once, but we don't talk about his works, because he had an ocean of blood on his hands all for the sake of some purity standard.

So CUUUTE!

Omg, look at their little boopers!

Oh that is such a blessing.

Now that I've had a chance to actually watch the show, I have to say it's such a delight.

It reminds me of when I was younger, and me & my brother went to go see the Nutcracker over at the theatre.

You simply MUST tell us how your stage director manages to concoct such a fun story sometime.