Dad Jokes
@dadsaysjokes.com
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Dad Jokes
@dadsaysjokes.com
· Aug 20
Shout out to everyone who can remember every word to some random 80s song but can't remember the password they created yesterday
I run every day for 15 minutes. If I miss a day l add 15 minutes to the next day.
This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I'm supposed to run for 3 months.
This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I'm supposed to run for 3 months.
December 6, 2025 at 8:47 PM
I run every day for 15 minutes. If I miss a day l add 15 minutes to the next day.
This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I'm supposed to run for 3 months.
This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I'm supposed to run for 3 months.
Vaping is weird... you walk past a group of dudes who look like gangsters but smell like strawberry muffins...
December 5, 2025 at 9:04 PM
Vaping is weird... you walk past a group of dudes who look like gangsters but smell like strawberry muffins...
We need an extra day between Saturday and Sunday 😔
December 5, 2025 at 4:23 PM
We need an extra day between Saturday and Sunday 😔
Killer whales have recently started attacking boats.
Police fear it's Orca-nized crime.
Police fear it's Orca-nized crime.
December 5, 2025 at 10:33 AM
Killer whales have recently started attacking boats.
Police fear it's Orca-nized crime.
Police fear it's Orca-nized crime.
I fired my fruit delivery driver today.
I hate to let the mango but he was driving me bananas.
I hate to let the mango but he was driving me bananas.
December 4, 2025 at 11:18 AM
I fired my fruit delivery driver today.
I hate to let the mango but he was driving me bananas.
I hate to let the mango but he was driving me bananas.
What happens if someone slaps you at a high frequency?
It Hertz.
It Hertz.
December 3, 2025 at 9:02 PM
What happens if someone slaps you at a high frequency?
It Hertz.
It Hertz.
My girlfriend is leaving me after I accidentally broke her spectacles.
She said she can't see me anymore.
She said she can't see me anymore.
December 3, 2025 at 9:01 PM
My girlfriend is leaving me after I accidentally broke her spectacles.
She said she can't see me anymore.
She said she can't see me anymore.
I just accidentally hit a truck loaded with electric guitars.
Luckily it was just a fender bender.
Luckily it was just a fender bender.
December 3, 2025 at 11:01 AM
I just accidentally hit a truck loaded with electric guitars.
Luckily it was just a fender bender.
Luckily it was just a fender bender.
My wife just got home; she said,
"I’ve got good news and bad news."
I said, "Just give me the good news."
She said, "The airbags work on your new car."
"I’ve got good news and bad news."
I said, "Just give me the good news."
She said, "The airbags work on your new car."
December 2, 2025 at 5:57 PM
My wife just got home; she said,
"I’ve got good news and bad news."
I said, "Just give me the good news."
She said, "The airbags work on your new car."
"I’ve got good news and bad news."
I said, "Just give me the good news."
She said, "The airbags work on your new car."
Today, my parsley, basil, and rosemary all turned against me.
Thyme is on my side, though.
Thyme is on my side, though.
December 1, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Today, my parsley, basil, and rosemary all turned against me.
Thyme is on my side, though.
Thyme is on my side, though.
There’s a new guy at work named Wayne Bruce, and I said, “Ah, Manbat, my old nemesis.”
Nobody got it.
My talents are wasted there.
Nobody got it.
My talents are wasted there.
December 1, 2025 at 8:40 PM
There’s a new guy at work named Wayne Bruce, and I said, “Ah, Manbat, my old nemesis.”
Nobody got it.
My talents are wasted there.
Nobody got it.
My talents are wasted there.
Can you believe I was thrown out of my church for claiming Jesus spoke with a lisp?
It was a real slap in the faith.
It was a real slap in the faith.
December 1, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Can you believe I was thrown out of my church for claiming Jesus spoke with a lisp?
It was a real slap in the faith.
It was a real slap in the faith.
My niece calls me Ankle.
I call her my Knees.
I call her my Knees.
November 30, 2025 at 3:22 PM
My niece calls me Ankle.
I call her my Knees.
I call her my Knees.
I sent my son to his room for saying Jim Morrison was a terrible musician…
Sorry but we do not slam The Doors in this house.
Sorry but we do not slam The Doors in this house.
November 30, 2025 at 3:22 PM
I sent my son to his room for saying Jim Morrison was a terrible musician…
Sorry but we do not slam The Doors in this house.
Sorry but we do not slam The Doors in this house.
Which number you see..?
99% Fail
99% Fail
November 30, 2025 at 2:41 PM
Which number you see..?
99% Fail
99% Fail
Your veterinarian won't tell you this, but if your dog is running a fever, go to the store and buy some mustard
It's the best thing for a hot dog
It's the best thing for a hot dog
November 29, 2025 at 9:27 PM
Your veterinarian won't tell you this, but if your dog is running a fever, go to the store and buy some mustard
It's the best thing for a hot dog
It's the best thing for a hot dog
I can't believe that viruses and bacteria would just invade my body without a permission.
That makes me sick.
That makes me sick.
November 29, 2025 at 4:14 PM
I can't believe that viruses and bacteria would just invade my body without a permission.
That makes me sick.
That makes me sick.
Friend: I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married did you?
I replied, "I'm not sure what was her maiden name?
I replied, "I'm not sure what was her maiden name?
November 29, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Friend: I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married did you?
I replied, "I'm not sure what was her maiden name?
I replied, "I'm not sure what was her maiden name?
Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony.
However, eating too much pie is ok because the Sin of Pi is 0
However, eating too much pie is ok because the Sin of Pi is 0
November 28, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony.
However, eating too much pie is ok because the Sin of Pi is 0
However, eating too much pie is ok because the Sin of Pi is 0
