i don't know how to bring this up because addressing the topic itself feels like i would suddenly be deemed "unfixable". why would he even give any nuance to not hurting me at all?? why is it a question of whether i am fixable or not? i'm scared. i don't know what to do. (6/6)

i don't know how to feel safe anymore because the sentiment of "i wouldn't hurt you unless we couldn't fix things" is fucking terrifying. i couldn't fix my bio parents' relationships and they've been at each others' throats, threatening to kill each other and me. (5/6)

because what's the threshold for being "unfixable"? are my abusive behaviors unfixable? is me cheating unfixable (which i would NEVER so, having been cheated on myself. just an example)? (4/6)

"i wouldn't murder you unless something between us was unfixable." i've been stuck on this sentence for so fucking long. and he has said multiple times that when we get married, he would never divorce me, even if we lost feelings. so i'm so fucking, distraught? (3/6)

(a while ago him and i talked about my trauma, and i mentioned that a lot of the times my paranoia gets the better of me due to trauma, and i think he would kill me if i ever slipped up even slightly. he tried to comfort me by saying the following, (2/6)

I think the least we can do is nourish it and let it thrive how it is. We just cannot find any balance, and being plural makes it so much harder because of our massive amnesia barriers. We love ourselves for each other, but we don't love ourself as an individual. (3/3)