I just aspire to someday be high-functioning enough to not every few years commit the sin of mixing up Kenny Rogers (😎) and Kenny Loggins (🤡).

Willing to fight about this: the #Paddington film franchise is the best family trilogy since Back To The Future. 🎬🐻🧥🍊

When's the last time you actually, involuntarily physically cringed? Because just now I heard a woman in a training video pronouncing "etc" as "ettsetturrurr".

Remember 30 years ago when Americans gathered 'round the water cooler to be like "hey so, know the dodgy alien autopsy on TV last night? You uh..think it's maybe legit?" and failed to reach consensus that, obviously, in fact, by all the gods & goddesses frowning down from Olympus are you insane, no?

Serious question, how do I become a #PuppyBowl employee? Like, any role ... kitten wrangler, curating toys on the field, editing down hours of footage & coming up with bio captions and dramatic musical stingers.

Hell, walks & litterbox duty. I just want to be a part of it all!