Why do people think Midwestern Nice is a positive thing? I say this as a Midwestern native. Baby, it's mean as fuck.

I'm still in a fight with my boss about an ingredient in our pizza dough, but tonight's efforts on my part (oil from confit tomatoes, garlic, fresh tomatoes, basil, and mozzarella) was remarkable (as always).

There's part of me that thinks it would be so funny for these weird natalist freaks to adopt the song "She's Having My Baby" but I honestly think they're too frightened by Paul Anka's raw sexual appeal

Can anybody tell me if there's a phrase for this? You receive a gift that's actually a chore, say a bag of hops that you're expected to turn into beer. It's not looking a gift horse in the mouth, that'd be if someone just gave you beer.