Matt
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coolnessinc.bsky.social
Matt
@coolnessinc.bsky.social
He/Him. I live in Indiana, but not like that. I like books and coffee. I’m a cat person, but I’ll still pet your dog.

Don’t look: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:modcracogimat5hfyc325zsg/feed/aaanunf43yybk
Pinned
Ran into someone from work and confidently called them by the wrong name.

If you need me, I’ll be living in the ocean.
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*enjoying a moment of peace*

brain: hey it's been a while since you've done an extremely embarrassing thing
December 2, 2025 at 2:01 PM
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I just wanna get wrapped in puffed pastry and baked like a little sausage roll.
December 2, 2025 at 11:37 AM
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You know what roads in the winter and your mom have in common? They both have a lot of men plowing them
December 2, 2025 at 4:43 AM
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It’s my birthday I can use dark humor as a valid coping mechanism if I want to 🎶
December 2, 2025 at 5:18 AM
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My Christmas tree is now erect and leans slightly to the left.
December 2, 2025 at 6:33 AM
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TV show called "Love on the Landscape" but it's just people getting caught for banging in public places.
December 1, 2025 at 9:47 PM
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Walked in on my cat using the litter box and got the meanest stank face from her

Oh, it’s only okay when YOU do it
December 1, 2025 at 9:50 PM
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I’ll deck the halls when the halls start paying rent
December 1, 2025 at 8:58 PM
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It's such a perfect overview of our healthcare system that Trump can get "preventative scans" every other day and there are people that can't even afford their insulin or chemotherapy
December 1, 2025 at 8:11 PM
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Dry swallowing pepcid but like in a really hot way
December 1, 2025 at 8:13 PM
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Who up thinking they getting uglier at an alarming rate
December 1, 2025 at 4:25 AM
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Hey buddy, just wanted to let you know everyone can see your purple nurple through that shirt.
November 30, 2025 at 8:26 PM
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I wish I would've spent as much time choosing a man as my dog takes choosing a place to poop
November 30, 2025 at 4:12 PM
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Participation is exhausting.
November 30, 2025 at 4:15 AM
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Trapping a raccoon to give it a really boxy haircut
November 29, 2025 at 10:19 PM
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This amount of snow is unreal. Gonna bake brownies about it
November 29, 2025 at 8:49 PM
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Slipped Tylenol into everyone's mashed potatoes at dinner so I will finally have some people to talk to about all my cool rocks
November 29, 2025 at 1:44 AM
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If my life had background music it would be that one song from SpongeBob where everything goes wrong
November 29, 2025 at 2:36 AM
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Aromatherapy.
November 29, 2025 at 12:10 AM
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add some holiday spice to your date and tie them to the top of your car like a christmas tree
November 28, 2025 at 5:16 PM
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you're acting up? right before santa clause comes to town? unbelievable
November 28, 2025 at 6:35 PM
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cats wake you up just to show off how they'd sleep in
November 28, 2025 at 11:56 AM
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After giving much thanks, my dad and I discussed which pain pill is superior after surgical procedures.
November 28, 2025 at 5:29 AM
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Wake me up when solitaire is a team sport, sport.
November 28, 2025 at 3:16 AM
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I dropped it liked it was hot. Too lazy to pick it up, so it’s just gonna stay there.
November 27, 2025 at 11:42 PM