Matt
@coolnessinc.bsky.social
He/Him. I live in Indiana, but not like that. I like books and coffee. I’m a cat person, but I’ll still pet your dog.
Don’t look: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:modcracogimat5hfyc325zsg/feed/aaanunf43yybk
Don’t look: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:modcracogimat5hfyc325zsg/feed/aaanunf43yybk
Pinned
Ran into someone from work and confidently called them by the wrong name.
If you need me, I’ll be living in the ocean.
If you need me, I’ll be living in the ocean.
Reposted by Matt
*enjoying a moment of peace*
brain: hey it's been a while since you've done an extremely embarrassing thing
brain: hey it's been a while since you've done an extremely embarrassing thing
December 2, 2025 at 2:01 PM
*enjoying a moment of peace*
brain: hey it's been a while since you've done an extremely embarrassing thing
brain: hey it's been a while since you've done an extremely embarrassing thing
Reposted by Matt
I just wanna get wrapped in puffed pastry and baked like a little sausage roll.
December 2, 2025 at 11:37 AM
I just wanna get wrapped in puffed pastry and baked like a little sausage roll.
Reposted by Matt
You know what roads in the winter and your mom have in common? They both have a lot of men plowing them
December 2, 2025 at 4:43 AM
You know what roads in the winter and your mom have in common? They both have a lot of men plowing them
Reposted by Matt
It’s my birthday I can use dark humor as a valid coping mechanism if I want to 🎶
December 2, 2025 at 5:18 AM
It’s my birthday I can use dark humor as a valid coping mechanism if I want to 🎶
Reposted by Matt
My Christmas tree is now erect and leans slightly to the left.
December 2, 2025 at 6:33 AM
My Christmas tree is now erect and leans slightly to the left.
Reposted by Matt
TV show called "Love on the Landscape" but it's just people getting caught for banging in public places.
December 1, 2025 at 9:47 PM
TV show called "Love on the Landscape" but it's just people getting caught for banging in public places.
Reposted by Matt
Walked in on my cat using the litter box and got the meanest stank face from her
Oh, it’s only okay when YOU do it
Oh, it’s only okay when YOU do it
December 1, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Walked in on my cat using the litter box and got the meanest stank face from her
Oh, it’s only okay when YOU do it
Oh, it’s only okay when YOU do it
Reposted by Matt
I’ll deck the halls when the halls start paying rent
December 1, 2025 at 8:58 PM
I’ll deck the halls when the halls start paying rent
Reposted by Matt
It's such a perfect overview of our healthcare system that Trump can get "preventative scans" every other day and there are people that can't even afford their insulin or chemotherapy
December 1, 2025 at 8:11 PM
It's such a perfect overview of our healthcare system that Trump can get "preventative scans" every other day and there are people that can't even afford their insulin or chemotherapy
Reposted by Matt
Dry swallowing pepcid but like in a really hot way
December 1, 2025 at 8:13 PM
Dry swallowing pepcid but like in a really hot way
Reposted by Matt
Who up thinking they getting uglier at an alarming rate
December 1, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Who up thinking they getting uglier at an alarming rate
Reposted by Matt
Hey buddy, just wanted to let you know everyone can see your purple nurple through that shirt.
November 30, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Hey buddy, just wanted to let you know everyone can see your purple nurple through that shirt.
Reposted by Matt
I wish I would've spent as much time choosing a man as my dog takes choosing a place to poop
November 30, 2025 at 4:12 PM
I wish I would've spent as much time choosing a man as my dog takes choosing a place to poop
Reposted by Matt
Participation is exhausting.
November 30, 2025 at 4:15 AM
Participation is exhausting.
Reposted by Matt
Trapping a raccoon to give it a really boxy haircut
November 29, 2025 at 10:19 PM
Trapping a raccoon to give it a really boxy haircut
Reposted by Matt
This amount of snow is unreal. Gonna bake brownies about it
November 29, 2025 at 8:49 PM
This amount of snow is unreal. Gonna bake brownies about it
Reposted by Matt
Slipped Tylenol into everyone's mashed potatoes at dinner so I will finally have some people to talk to about all my cool rocks
November 29, 2025 at 1:44 AM
Slipped Tylenol into everyone's mashed potatoes at dinner so I will finally have some people to talk to about all my cool rocks
Reposted by Matt
If my life had background music it would be that one song from SpongeBob where everything goes wrong
November 29, 2025 at 2:36 AM
If my life had background music it would be that one song from SpongeBob where everything goes wrong
Reposted by Matt
Reposted by Matt
add some holiday spice to your date and tie them to the top of your car like a christmas tree
November 28, 2025 at 5:16 PM
add some holiday spice to your date and tie them to the top of your car like a christmas tree
Reposted by Matt
you're acting up? right before santa clause comes to town? unbelievable
November 28, 2025 at 6:35 PM
you're acting up? right before santa clause comes to town? unbelievable
Reposted by Matt
cats wake you up just to show off how they'd sleep in
November 28, 2025 at 11:56 AM
cats wake you up just to show off how they'd sleep in
Reposted by Matt
After giving much thanks, my dad and I discussed which pain pill is superior after surgical procedures.
November 28, 2025 at 5:29 AM
After giving much thanks, my dad and I discussed which pain pill is superior after surgical procedures.
Reposted by Matt
Wake me up when solitaire is a team sport, sport.
November 28, 2025 at 3:16 AM
Wake me up when solitaire is a team sport, sport.
Reposted by Matt
I dropped it liked it was hot. Too lazy to pick it up, so it’s just gonna stay there.
November 27, 2025 at 11:42 PM
I dropped it liked it was hot. Too lazy to pick it up, so it’s just gonna stay there.