woke

the computer causes such strife

Can't believe I was thinking about turning off DMs today.

I love how absolutely insane the internet is making people. It rivals boomer lead poisoning and I think that’s just beautiful.

pornhub is blocked in 17 states because 17 state governments are demanding that you upload your face and identifying information to a privately held company that may or may not sell that data to the highest bidder and pornhub believes that is a violation of your rights.

WONK: Well a splinter cell of Antifa Teens are clearly plotting to kill the Pfizer CEO with 3D printed halberds and then go 'Full Jokerfied Gooner Mode' by leaving his corresponding Luigi Mangione playing card on his corpse

TAPPER: [nodding] as a warning to hardworking family men

WONK: exactly

a long read but incredibly worth it lmfao. i love how insane everyone is becomeing

Maybe it’s because your church looks like an AMC showing Sonic 3

Did you hear about Scrooge? Yeah, completely different guy now. Keeps Christmas in his heart. No, he’s still a moneylender; foreclosed on that orphanage last week. Bought ‘em a turkey though

how do I get into the gay part of Bluesky my feed is completely saturated with liberal elder millennial content and I need out

what if we got Luigi on this war on Christmas

Waited too long to do my Christmas shopping and now only Walgreens is open. Fuck it. Everyone’s getting a knee brace.

can’t wait to resume waging war on Christmas tomorrow

enlisting IDF and telling them the elves are Gazan children they’re fuckin’ cooked

Schitt’s Creek was a huge win for white women because until 2015 they didn’t have anything to quote like straight dudes did Anchorman.

the Uno movie is gonna bring the end of sucking and fucking for us all I know it