A couple guys broke into my backyard today.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it follow WCAG.

Whoever in #Google #Chrome’s UX department greenlit a 10px-wide scrollbar without implementing an accessibility setting to increase the width owes WCAG a handwritten apology and an unpaid two-week leave of absence to reflect on their crimes.

Nothing makes me open Zillow faster than my neighbors having a large BBQ in the pouring rain drunkenly singing the American History X version of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" as loud as they possibly can.

One of my dogs is dreaming right now and making little woofs. My other dog is staring at her with this super judgmental expression.

Like, bro, don't act like you don't literally howl in your sleep. Y'know how unsettling it is to watch a dead-asleep hunting dog "awooo"?

Most years, I do a self-portrait to use as my avatar. I was struggling with what to do for 2025 until recently. #art

After the 2024 I had, I'm going into 2025 feeling like a red shirt stepping on the transporter pad about to go on a "standard research mission".

(With my friends)
Me: I'm really sorry if I'm being annoying, sorry sorry sorry.

(With my older sister)
Sister: You're being annoying.
Me: Yeah, well, that's kind of my job.

Nearly 9pm, in pitch black, the kids next door are still going wild and screaming their heads off.

If there are still screaming kids when I go to bed, I will be outside with a boombox blasting Baby Shark "Say Anything" style as loud and as early as legally possible tomorrow.

Most of my daily attire of sweatpants and overshirts is mismatched plaid.

Last year, I got a cozy plaid flannel pajama set I forgot about until yesterday.

Despite it being nearly identical to my normal clothing, my partner repugnantly calls the matching pajama set "jailhouse chic". 🤷

Oh yay. The kids next door got new Nerf guns.

How do I know this?

There are already several darts on my back patio.

It's my partner's evening job to prep the coffee/tea maker for the next morning.

Last night he asked, "Do you want me to prep tea or coffee?"

I said, "Surprise me."

This morning, there was nothing.

So if this was the surprise, next time I'll just flip a coin.

I was finishing my chalk art today when the neighbor kid came over to see what I was doing. He called his brother over and then there was just - a herd of them.

Dunno how, but I've spent the last two hours chalking Sonic the Hedgehog characters for them to color.

Now I'm chugging Emergen-C.

I was working on chalk art last night and had to to stop because the sun went down and I couldn't see shit.

My mother-in-law sent me an Amazon card and I had 2 choices: A dashcam or a 21000 lumen standing floodlight.

I went with the dashcam but I have the floodlight in "Save for Later"...

Nothing makes you question the definition of a "post-Cold War First World" country quite like seeing a Canadian's reaction as you explain the American healthcare system.

I bought a small brand of off-brand cat food until their usual food came in. They were TOTALLY fine with it - until their usual bag arrived a couple days ago and I propped it next to the bin.

They've been acting like the bowl is empty and circling the usual food like tiny asshole sharks ever since.

I've been listening to Kathy Reichs audiobooks and noticed the second voice in my internal monologue has taken on a shitty French accent.

So I think, "Should I put crunchy onions on this sandwich?"

And my response is, "Ah, oui! Ze crunchy onions weel be an excellent addishon!"

Thanks, Bones.

I don't know how to start so here's some sidewalk chalk art I did today while my power was out.