Church Of Atheism
@churchofatheism.bsky.social
So long Twitter. You will not be missed!!!
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I don't know about you, but I just got a mental image of a woman making a sandcastle in a very... peculiar way...
September 29, 2025 at 7:37 PM
I don't know about you, but I just got a mental image of a woman making a sandcastle in a very... peculiar way...
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Someone told me I should go to a bookshop and leave them in random books. I replied, ‘I suppose that’s better than what I usually do, which is sneeze in them and put them back.’
September 5, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Someone told me I should go to a bookshop and leave them in random books. I replied, ‘I suppose that’s better than what I usually do, which is sneeze in them and put them back.’
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Sometimes when I'm feeling blue, I watch this clip I took out of a Kenneth Copeland video. Never fails to amuse.
August 2, 2025 at 1:48 PM
Sometimes when I'm feeling blue, I watch this clip I took out of a Kenneth Copeland video. Never fails to amuse.
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I wonder if he got a boob job just so that his father will look at him.
July 30, 2025 at 4:19 AM
I wonder if he got a boob job just so that his father will look at him.
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The Undeserved Banana - a skit I wrote a while ago.
www.misreadbible.com/stories/unde...
www.misreadbible.com/stories/unde...
The Undeserved Banana
Ray Comfort introduces Kirk Cameron to his infamous banana argument.
www.misreadbible.com
July 28, 2025 at 6:19 PM
The Undeserved Banana - a skit I wrote a while ago.
www.misreadbible.com/stories/unde...
www.misreadbible.com/stories/unde...
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Idea for a chat up line:
Can you smell vinegar and cheese?
No?
Good. My deodorant is working 😉
Can you smell vinegar and cheese?
No?
Good. My deodorant is working 😉
July 28, 2025 at 12:10 PM
Idea for a chat up line:
Can you smell vinegar and cheese?
No?
Good. My deodorant is working 😉
Can you smell vinegar and cheese?
No?
Good. My deodorant is working 😉
As promised, here’s the cover artwork for The MisreadBible: Joshua—currently in its naked, pre-coloured form. I’ll share the final, fully dressed version soon, along with release details.
www.misreadbible.com/books/joshua
www.misreadbible.com/books/joshua
July 14, 2025 at 10:15 PM
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In an HR meeting.
HR: It says here, you suffer from anal incontinence.
Me: What!?
HR: Sorry, it says you’re banal and incompetent.
Me: Phew! That’s a relief. I nearly shit myself.
HR jots down: ‘Anal incontinence.’
HR: It says here, you suffer from anal incontinence.
Me: What!?
HR: Sorry, it says you’re banal and incompetent.
Me: Phew! That’s a relief. I nearly shit myself.
HR jots down: ‘Anal incontinence.’
July 11, 2025 at 3:35 PM
In an HR meeting.
HR: It says here, you suffer from anal incontinence.
Me: What!?
HR: Sorry, it says you’re banal and incompetent.
Me: Phew! That’s a relief. I nearly shit myself.
HR jots down: ‘Anal incontinence.’
HR: It says here, you suffer from anal incontinence.
Me: What!?
HR: Sorry, it says you’re banal and incompetent.
Me: Phew! That’s a relief. I nearly shit myself.
HR jots down: ‘Anal incontinence.’
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So, I was in the shower and Pour Some Sugar on Me came on the radio. So naturally, I started strutting my stuff like I was in a topless carwash. I looked up to find the window cleaner vomiting in my window box. Cheeky bastard!
July 10, 2025 at 7:51 PM
So, I was in the shower and Pour Some Sugar on Me came on the radio. So naturally, I started strutting my stuff like I was in a topless carwash. I looked up to find the window cleaner vomiting in my window box. Cheeky bastard!
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I spotted the Spanish Inquisition in a local beer garden. I wasn't expecting that!
July 9, 2025 at 5:08 PM
I spotted the Spanish Inquisition in a local beer garden. I wasn't expecting that!
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I laughed so hard I dropped my phone into the abyss under the ottoman
July 1, 2025 at 12:52 AM
I laughed so hard I dropped my phone into the abyss under the ottoman
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Mia’s daughter plays chess like a bastard!
April 30, 2025 at 9:28 PM
Mia’s daughter plays chess like a bastard!
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I just got an email that really captures adulthood: an invitation from my water company to attend a meeting about local sewers.
I’m tempted to write back: ‘Will sewage be provided, or should I bring my own?’
I’m tempted to write back: ‘Will sewage be provided, or should I bring my own?’
April 30, 2025 at 7:10 PM
I just got an email that really captures adulthood: an invitation from my water company to attend a meeting about local sewers.
I’m tempted to write back: ‘Will sewage be provided, or should I bring my own?’
I’m tempted to write back: ‘Will sewage be provided, or should I bring my own?’
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I wish I could enter a room like my dog. She’s like, ‘Hi, everybody!!! Xena is here!!!’
Whereas I’m more like, ‘Don’t look at me… I’m going to sit in the corner… Why are you looking at me!?’
Whereas I’m more like, ‘Don’t look at me… I’m going to sit in the corner… Why are you looking at me!?’
April 20, 2025 at 10:57 PM
I wish I could enter a room like my dog. She’s like, ‘Hi, everybody!!! Xena is here!!!’
Whereas I’m more like, ‘Don’t look at me… I’m going to sit in the corner… Why are you looking at me!?’
Whereas I’m more like, ‘Don’t look at me… I’m going to sit in the corner… Why are you looking at me!?’
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The Lord then said to Noah, ‘Remember when I said to take one pair of EVERY animal?’
Noah replied, ‘Yeah?’
‘Well, strike that. Take seven pairs, male and female, of every kind of clean animal.’
‘Oh, come on!’ cried Noah. ‘It took me months to collect them all!’ - Genesis 7:1-3
Noah replied, ‘Yeah?’
‘Well, strike that. Take seven pairs, male and female, of every kind of clean animal.’
‘Oh, come on!’ cried Noah. ‘It took me months to collect them all!’ - Genesis 7:1-3
April 20, 2025 at 11:00 PM
The Lord then said to Noah, ‘Remember when I said to take one pair of EVERY animal?’
Noah replied, ‘Yeah?’
‘Well, strike that. Take seven pairs, male and female, of every kind of clean animal.’
‘Oh, come on!’ cried Noah. ‘It took me months to collect them all!’ - Genesis 7:1-3
Noah replied, ‘Yeah?’
‘Well, strike that. Take seven pairs, male and female, of every kind of clean animal.’
‘Oh, come on!’ cried Noah. ‘It took me months to collect them all!’ - Genesis 7:1-3
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Customer: What kind of piles do you have?
Owner: That’s a very personal question, sir! That’s between me and my proctologist!
Customer: No, I mean how they feel.
Owner: They’re really uncomfortable to be perfectly honest, sir. I have to sit on a special cushion!
Customer: Ergh… can you cut a rug?
Owner: That’s a very personal question, sir! That’s between me and my proctologist!
Customer: No, I mean how they feel.
Owner: They’re really uncomfortable to be perfectly honest, sir. I have to sit on a special cushion!
Customer: Ergh… can you cut a rug?
March 30, 2025 at 12:19 AM
Customer: What kind of piles do you have?
Owner: That’s a very personal question, sir! That’s between me and my proctologist!
Customer: No, I mean how they feel.
Owner: They’re really uncomfortable to be perfectly honest, sir. I have to sit on a special cushion!
Customer: Ergh… can you cut a rug?
Owner: That’s a very personal question, sir! That’s between me and my proctologist!
Customer: No, I mean how they feel.
Owner: They’re really uncomfortable to be perfectly honest, sir. I have to sit on a special cushion!
Customer: Ergh… can you cut a rug?
So, what should we call the nation that was once the United States of America? Cause this isn't USA.
Yes. If DHS can barge in, say your visa was revoked, be told you have a green card, say it's revoked too, and then disappear you so that neither your lawyer nor your family can find you, then all the guardrails are gone. There is no policy, practice, or law protecting anyone.
re the previous repost: if they can disappear permanent residents they can disappear citizens
March 10, 2025 at 2:45 PM
So, what should we call the nation that was once the United States of America? Cause this isn't USA.
This is project 2025. Take money from public schools and fund their private schools.
Eventually, we're gonna do something about this.... Right?
I hope Americans don't just roll over and let this administration destroy everything America stands for.
Eventually, we're gonna do something about this.... Right?
I hope Americans don't just roll over and let this administration destroy everything America stands for.
Ryan Walters is forcing religion & bibles into Oklahoma public schools—it’s unconstitutional.
Meanwhile, SCOTUS is weighing whether taxpayer money can fund an Oklahoma Catholic charter. If they let it slide, expect a flood of state-funded religious schools in more red states. The stakes are huge.
Meanwhile, SCOTUS is weighing whether taxpayer money can fund an Oklahoma Catholic charter. If they let it slide, expect a flood of state-funded religious schools in more red states. The stakes are huge.
March 10, 2025 at 2:44 PM
This is project 2025. Take money from public schools and fund their private schools.
Eventually, we're gonna do something about this.... Right?
I hope Americans don't just roll over and let this administration destroy everything America stands for.
Eventually, we're gonna do something about this.... Right?
I hope Americans don't just roll over and let this administration destroy everything America stands for.
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What if they’re both dead and in the balcony?
‘So, Dad, if you’re up there, it means that balcony hasn’t been cleaned since you died during the last Oscars.’
‘So, Dad, if you’re up there, it means that balcony hasn’t been cleaned since you died during the last Oscars.’
I've said it before but there should be a law that if in your Oscar speech you thank your parents "up there" you have to clarify if they are dead or in the balcony
March 3, 2025 at 11:56 PM
What if they’re both dead and in the balcony?
‘So, Dad, if you’re up there, it means that balcony hasn’t been cleaned since you died during the last Oscars.’
‘So, Dad, if you’re up there, it means that balcony hasn’t been cleaned since you died during the last Oscars.’
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When Elon’s cybertruck is stopped by the police.
February 28, 2025 at 4:55 AM
When Elon’s cybertruck is stopped by the police.
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daily reminder…
pro life and republicans secretly keep laws that allow them to exploit children.
is child marriage legal in YOUR state?
have you been on their social media to ask them why they want to marry children?
i have.
that’s what activism is.
#endchildmarriageNOW
#tocatchprolifepedophiles
pro life and republicans secretly keep laws that allow them to exploit children.
is child marriage legal in YOUR state?
have you been on their social media to ask them why they want to marry children?
i have.
that’s what activism is.
#endchildmarriageNOW
#tocatchprolifepedophiles
February 19, 2025 at 5:31 PM
daily reminder…
pro life and republicans secretly keep laws that allow them to exploit children.
is child marriage legal in YOUR state?
have you been on their social media to ask them why they want to marry children?
i have.
that’s what activism is.
#endchildmarriageNOW
#tocatchprolifepedophiles
pro life and republicans secretly keep laws that allow them to exploit children.
is child marriage legal in YOUR state?
have you been on their social media to ask them why they want to marry children?
i have.
that’s what activism is.
#endchildmarriageNOW
#tocatchprolifepedophiles
Reposted by Church Of Atheism
#Constitutional #Law
#Resist
#NullAndVoid #Shitler #VonShitzenpants
#FuckTrump #FuckElon #FuckPutin #FuckNetanyahu #FuckZuck
#Resist
#NullAndVoid #Shitler #VonShitzenpants
#FuckTrump #FuckElon #FuckPutin #FuckNetanyahu #FuckZuck
January 29, 2025 at 2:03 AM
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The cunt museum sounds fun. Unless it’s just filled with pictures of Trump and Musk.
February 13, 2025 at 3:40 AM
The cunt museum sounds fun. Unless it’s just filled with pictures of Trump and Musk.
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It’s about as subtle as a Nazi salute at a presidential inauguration.
I feel like it does not take a cyber expert to fucking know this....
February 12, 2025 at 2:30 AM
It’s about as subtle as a Nazi salute at a presidential inauguration.
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I’ve been learning German. I can’t get my head around the genders. Who the fuck decided ‘Wurst’ is feminine?
January 28, 2025 at 1:49 AM
I’ve been learning German. I can’t get my head around the genders. Who the fuck decided ‘Wurst’ is feminine?