On top of not being famous I'll never do a "tell all" autobio because I only know juicy things because I was in a position of being trusted and confidential and I actually take that seriously. That and libel laws but the people who that applies to will probably never see this post.

New scam just dropped. Text from someone claiming to be my ex and demanding to be part of "our daughter's life". Just enough sympathetic specific personal detail to make me want to reply and clarify and prove with details not that person thus confirming this number and personal details

It's really wild to feel like you have boring politics like "equal rights under the law" and then encounter people who call you radical #IfYouAreMadAtThisStatementThenAskYourselfWhy

"Paradigmatic" has nothing to do with an ineffable marching band
#ButItShould

"We had a verbal agreement to send each other $200"
This woman is suing someone and literally describing a Ponzi scheme.
#OverheardAtCourt

Real court is normally nothing like TV but this morning I heard "Is the Defendant [redacted] AKA The Mad Violinist in the courtroom?" #StrangerThanFiction

My incoming child shall have an LL name and I am only just now realizing she'll be a #Superman supporting cast member #NeverForgetLoriLemaris

Apparently the kanji for "Tang" as in Tang Dynasty is a combination of "silk" and "fried food" and I feel very called out.

Pitch: The three Batmen. Bruce is retired and his sidekicks divvy up the responsibilities. Dick: JL Batman. Basically still leading Titans but older. Jason: Batman of Gotham. Head down in the detective stories. Damien: Batman, Inc. international spy stories and magic police. 1/x

Roger Rabbit taught me that the best way to marry a hottie was to be a goofy lil guy. It worked for me so maybe goody bow ties are the answer to male loneliness.

You can really tell when the algorithm decides you've entered a new age bracket. Today my ads turned Napoleonic War Games years old.

Murder is wrong. It's wild how many things I feel I have to preface with "Murder is wrong" before I say them.

"Multiverse" does not mean" all stories are real". It means "these stories interact" and, like all world building elements, promises consequences. When that impact falls short, such as only a cameo, you get audience disappointment not "multiverse fatigue"

The wildest thing about the Cracker Barrel logo is that if you had asked me to draw it from memory a month ago I would have drawn the new logo. Never even thought about the sitting guy as part of the logo.