Chelsea Onik (work)
@chelseaonikwork.bsky.social
Chelsea Onik is a satirical satirical entrepreneur, media reformer, and venturer devoted to restoring creative autonomy in the age of automation. Her work unites media ethics, cooperative economics, and absurdism under a single question— what is happening?
Do you assume she works 40 hours a week? She’s a high part time.
December 9, 2025 at 1:17 AM
Do you assume she works 40 hours a week? She’s a high part time.
Sam, does Ben see every campaign problem as a misinformation crisis? Which is adorable, because sometimes the problem is simply 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝑩𝒆𝒏 𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒔.
December 8, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Sam, does Ben see every campaign problem as a misinformation crisis? Which is adorable, because sometimes the problem is simply 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝑩𝒆𝒏 𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒔.
The only thing Sam has ever managed is the illusion
December 8, 2025 at 3:42 PM
The only thing Sam has ever managed is the illusion
History does not remember hand puppeteers.
Only the shadows they leave on the walls.
Only the shadows they leave on the walls.
December 8, 2025 at 3:38 PM
History does not remember hand puppeteers.
Only the shadows they leave on the walls.
Only the shadows they leave on the walls.
You should also stop opening with “we want to hold ourselves to a higher standard.”
December 8, 2025 at 3:13 PM
You should also stop opening with “we want to hold ourselves to a higher standard.”
Sam’s problem is needing to assume a billionaire will protect HIM while preaching how billionaires protect no one
This is his willingness to become the hinge on someone else’s empty swing.
This is his willingness to become the hinge on someone else’s empty swing.
December 8, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Sam’s problem is needing to assume a billionaire will protect HIM while preaching how billionaires protect no one
This is his willingness to become the hinge on someone else’s empty swing.
This is his willingness to become the hinge on someone else’s empty swing.
Which of the people you or Kat pretended to be will defeat you in 2026
December 8, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Which of the people you or Kat pretended to be will defeat you in 2026
DO WE ALL KNOW THE STRUGGLES OF CHRONIC HEADACHES AND NEUROCONDITIONS NOW AT LEAST?
December 8, 2025 at 2:27 PM
DO WE ALL KNOW THE STRUGGLES OF CHRONIC HEADACHES AND NEUROCONDITIONS NOW AT LEAST?
Sam, looking up from googling “how to sound decisive” and taking a sip of his coffee and migraine medication
December 8, 2025 at 2:26 PM
Sam, looking up from googling “how to sound decisive” and taking a sip of his coffee and migraine medication
When I spread these things, it’s not an endorsement. It’s an alarm bell
December 8, 2025 at 2:24 PM
When I spread these things, it’s not an endorsement. It’s an alarm bell
THE PEOPLE’S BILLIONAIRE MONEY CANDIDATE IMPLIES A PEOPLE’S BILLIONAIRE, NOT THAT YOU CAN BE TRUSTED AS A MONEY CANDIDATE
December 8, 2025 at 2:23 PM
THE PEOPLE’S BILLIONAIRE MONEY CANDIDATE IMPLIES A PEOPLE’S BILLIONAIRE, NOT THAT YOU CAN BE TRUSTED AS A MONEY CANDIDATE
My biggest conspiracy theory of this campaign is Jeff arranged whatever is happening with AIPAC
December 8, 2025 at 2:21 PM
My biggest conspiracy theory of this campaign is Jeff arranged whatever is happening with AIPAC
I’d stop with the “know firsthand the lengths someone is willing to go in order to silence dissent” and start scrubbing the YouTube for the 17,374 times she said it
December 8, 2025 at 2:18 PM
I’d stop with the “know firsthand the lengths someone is willing to go in order to silence dissent” and start scrubbing the YouTube for the 17,374 times she said it
Why do you always have Kat posing with Bluesky blue?
December 8, 2025 at 2:16 PM
Why do you always have Kat posing with Bluesky blue?
Go back to Jeff’s original playbook and try to run her as a comedian
December 8, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Go back to Jeff’s original playbook and try to run her as a comedian
I have the late shift, I’m just going to go in on Sam all day
December 8, 2025 at 1:52 PM
I have the late shift, I’m just going to go in on Sam all day
For one, on mobile it says “support our fund to fascism”
December 8, 2025 at 1:50 PM
For one, on mobile it says “support our fund to fascism”
Oh, so I see the new Alexa has arrived.
December 7, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Oh, so I see the new Alexa has arrived.
I have a tattoo of this, what does it mean?
And that’s it— the Frog jumps over the Poodle…
December 7, 2025 at 4:30 PM
I have a tattoo of this, what does it mean?
It’s like, you Larval Staged when Honeybeen was right there
December 6, 2025 at 3:26 AM
It’s like, you Larval Staged when Honeybeen was right there
You know as well as I do the boat joke sold the whole campaign
December 6, 2025 at 3:22 AM
You know as well as I do the boat joke sold the whole campaign
Is Howie still around? All the roombas in Due are officially named Howie. But instead of Howie 1,2 etc. it’s something derogatory towards his intellect
December 6, 2025 at 3:16 AM
Is Howie still around? All the roombas in Due are officially named Howie. But instead of Howie 1,2 etc. it’s something derogatory towards his intellect
Fight tech fascism and Trump AND Vance will fall
December 5, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Fight tech fascism and Trump AND Vance will fall
I was feeling nice this morning, I said I wasn’t included but here’s what you would have received from me
Pitching as “here’s what you also would have received if Leila and Ben hadn’t fired me without looking at my work (then lied about it in the press)”
December 5, 2025 at 3:37 PM
I was feeling nice this morning, I said I wasn’t included but here’s what you would have received from me