Keith Burge
@carryonkeith.bsky.social
Economic development professional, charity trustee, Shrewsbury (‘til I die), GB ultra runner and still wondering what to do with that sitcom script…
"All calls are recorded for reigning and monarching purposes."
October 11, 2025 at 8:45 AM
"All calls are recorded for reigning and monarching purposes."
"By supporting the killing of more than 68,000 Palestinians, more than 200 journalists/media workers and more than 200 humanitarian aid workers, I have brought peace to Gaza. So give me a medal."
October 10, 2025 at 7:20 AM
"By supporting the killing of more than 68,000 Palestinians, more than 200 journalists/media workers and more than 200 humanitarian aid workers, I have brought peace to Gaza. So give me a medal."
"And, wait for it, a free cuddly toy for every tax return!"
October 8, 2025 at 12:25 PM
"And, wait for it, a free cuddly toy for every tax return!"
"My mother-in-law's got no nose. How does she smell? Well, she can't, it's a prosthetic! But there may be some application of machine olfaction in the future."
October 8, 2025 at 8:33 AM
"My mother-in-law's got no nose. How does she smell? Well, she can't, it's a prosthetic! But there may be some application of machine olfaction in the future."
I think Shari Lewis did it better
October 7, 2025 at 3:32 PM
I think Shari Lewis did it better
Oh Victoria Atkins (Shadow Defra Secretary) you've really let yourself down here. Imagine holding a rally for the countryside at the Tory Conference in your Union Jacket and failing to sport a matching hat? The shame.
October 6, 2025 at 11:24 AM
Oh Victoria Atkins (Shadow Defra Secretary) you've really let yourself down here. Imagine holding a rally for the countryside at the Tory Conference in your Union Jacket and failing to sport a matching hat? The shame.
"Hi, is that 'We Buy Any Yacht'?"
October 1, 2025 at 1:01 PM
"Hi, is that 'We Buy Any Yacht'?"
Courtesy of today's Shropshire Star
October 1, 2025 at 12:31 PM
Courtesy of today's Shropshire Star
"So if I was to borrow the full £122 million over 72 months, what would the monthly payment be?"
October 1, 2025 at 12:27 PM
"So if I was to borrow the full £122 million over 72 months, what would the monthly payment be?"
"Poland will be governed by a Board of Peace, headed by me, Führer und Reichskanzler Adolf Hitler, and overseen by my good friend Josef Stalin."
September 30, 2025 at 7:24 AM
"Poland will be governed by a Board of Peace, headed by me, Führer und Reichskanzler Adolf Hitler, and overseen by my good friend Josef Stalin."
"Nigel Farage? No, never met him."
September 30, 2025 at 7:17 AM
"Nigel Farage? No, never met him."
And this is what happens when you allow immigrant mascots into South Wales.
September 26, 2025 at 9:07 AM
And this is what happens when you allow immigrant mascots into South Wales.
"The main problem with Labour introducing ID cards is that they get to place the contracts, which is something we very much wanted to do."
September 26, 2025 at 7:48 AM
"The main problem with Labour introducing ID cards is that they get to place the contracts, which is something we very much wanted to do."
"Of course I supported ID cards. Up until the point they were introduced by a Labour Government."
September 26, 2025 at 7:42 AM
"Of course I supported ID cards. Up until the point they were introduced by a Labour Government."
"And then I invented air, but I don't get the credit for that."
September 23, 2025 at 8:48 PM
"And then I invented air, but I don't get the credit for that."
"I would have loved to have stayed to watch one of your soccer matches, but someone mentioned Spurs and I went all limpy."
September 20, 2025 at 8:29 AM
"I would have loved to have stayed to watch one of your soccer matches, but someone mentioned Spurs and I went all limpy."
Remembering my old school friend Graham, on the 24th anniversary of his death. #9/11
September 11, 2025 at 3:24 PM
Remembering my old school friend Graham, on the 24th anniversary of his death. #9/11
"Don't look at me, look at Boris!" (Have they gone away now?)
September 9, 2025 at 1:06 PM
"Don't look at me, look at Boris!" (Have they gone away now?)
"But of course, my favourite ride is the Dodgems..."
September 9, 2025 at 11:07 AM
"But of course, my favourite ride is the Dodgems..."
Yeah, the problem being their massive egos. You can't have two top dogs.
September 7, 2025 at 7:55 AM
Yeah, the problem being their massive egos. You can't have two top dogs.
Is that because it covers the rancid stench from your incontinence pads?
September 7, 2025 at 7:53 AM
Is that because it covers the rancid stench from your incontinence pads?
"Tell Mr Farage thanks for sending them back."
August 27, 2025 at 6:38 AM
"Tell Mr Farage thanks for sending them back."
"I will end it in 1 day". 200 days later
August 17, 2025 at 10:08 AM
"I will end it in 1 day". 200 days later
You have to commend Police Scotland's commitment to keeping children safe from a paedophile.
July 25, 2025 at 12:42 PM
You have to commend Police Scotland's commitment to keeping children safe from a paedophile.
"We're going to be tough on crime - other than the stuff that gets us votes, makes us money or shows the little lady who wears the trousers - and tough on the causes of crime - see above."
July 22, 2025 at 6:22 AM
"We're going to be tough on crime - other than the stuff that gets us votes, makes us money or shows the little lady who wears the trousers - and tough on the causes of crime - see above."