Marshall
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carorado.bsky.social
Marshall
@carorado.bsky.social
✨ Stay at home dog dad ✨
📍Carolina to Colorado
🔞 Occasionally nsfw
Pinned
Someone has not been happy about moving from the country to the city. And it’s not the smiling homo. 🐶
I hope everyone with an obnoxiously loud engine totals their POS car. And I’m talking about the ones who modified the engine to be loud 😒
December 1, 2025 at 5:33 PM
It’s been below freezing for multi days now (I’m new to this type of cold). And the steam plant next door keeps it looking like I live in the clouds ☁️
So just call me Tove Lo the way I’m queen of the clouds.
December 1, 2025 at 2:21 PM
An espresso martini is the essential beginning of any Thanksgiving meal prep. Give me energy and a nice lil buzz.
November 27, 2025 at 6:04 PM
BMW’s always remind me of rats. Like aw, look at those 2 big rat teeth on the front of your lux car.
November 26, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Me? In the gym, at 4am… who is this bitch 😴
November 24, 2025 at 11:19 AM
Listening to ARTPOP at the gym. Gay rights 🏳️‍🌈
November 20, 2025 at 5:15 PM
It only took a year, but I’ve finally hardwired myself to consistently go to the gym. Can’t even skip a day without my brain saying “you lazy worthless piece of shit”
November 20, 2025 at 4:56 PM
I just love credit scores. Like ofc it totally makes sense that when my debt decreases, my credit used decreases, and my available credit increases that my credit score would tank 😒
November 19, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Sunday stretches
November 16, 2025 at 4:01 PM
“I look in people’s windows, to see if there are kitty cats” or whatever Taylor Swift said.
November 14, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Called to cancel internet at my old house and she had the audacity to tell me that I could be paying $45 less a month for a higher speed plan. Bitch are you deaf? I said I’ve sold the property, why are you telling me this now? Disrespectfully fuck off!
November 14, 2025 at 1:32 PM
Decided to hang my Christmas lights from the ceiling, instead of around the railing, since someone had previously placed hooks on the ceiling and omg my view from bed might be the best viewing angle.
November 14, 2025 at 12:41 AM
My motto has always been “why lose my belly when I could just grow my chest and shoulders, so that it creates the illusion of a smaller belly” 🙂‍↕️
November 11, 2025 at 6:18 PM
I’m always so good about wearing sunscreen in Colorado. Then went to visit family back on the east coast & just didn’t wear sunscreen on the beach and my back is frieddd 🦞
November 11, 2025 at 4:07 PM
I’ll t-t-take you to the Garden of Eden 🍎
November 1, 2025 at 1:38 PM
There was a hot guy at the gym during my workout today, but the kitty that’s usually perched in the neighboring apartment window was not there :/
October 31, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Sorry for the absence, I’ve been working on my new memoir: The Bottom I’ve Become
October 19, 2025 at 6:44 PM
The uncharacteristically stormy/moody weather this week has been a nice contrast to the relentless Colorado sunshine.
August 29, 2025 at 2:59 PM
I have a stockpile of autumn scented candles in my coat closet and I swear I almost c*m every time I open the door to it because of the smell 🎃 🍎 🍂
August 29, 2025 at 12:56 PM
“Owning a home” being the American dream is fitting because that’s stupid, just like America.
August 24, 2025 at 4:48 PM
I should not be trusted to make my own decisions. But also, how dare someone else try to make a decision for me?
August 22, 2025 at 7:58 PM
Just discovered sombr, and of course I love sad twink music.
August 22, 2025 at 4:30 PM
It’s so hard to evenly put on weight when you’re 6’2. Like oh, you want to gain weight? 90% can go to your stomach, 5% to your thighs, and the remaining 5% will be divided between arms, chest and calves.
August 22, 2025 at 4:07 PM
My Bluesky hiatus has ended (it’s fcf).
Maybe I’ll participate for the first time 🤔🤭
August 22, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Someone toured our house, then left a comment saying they wish it had more bedrooms… did you even look at the listing prior to scheduling a tour?
I bet they left there, went to Krispy Kreme, then were disappointed they didn’t sell cookies. 🤯
August 16, 2025 at 3:39 PM