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canadianng.bsky.social
NG
@canadianng.bsky.social
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No matter how nice it looks, a beaver will eat your face.
My 150 lbs dog has started eating shit. If anyone wants to borrow him for a White House tour let me know.
March 22, 2025 at 2:24 PM
The son of God himself could drop to earth, take over the Liberal party of Canada, become PM and there would be "Fuck Jesus" flags on jacked up trucks within a week.
March 20, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Do you ever do something ridiculous over and over again only because it’s routine. Not often, maybe once or twice a year and you don’t even know why, because logically it makes no sense at all? I’m just curious. Anyway happy change the clocks ahead day.
March 9, 2025 at 12:03 PM
Happiest Birthday to this completely insane Canadian. I hope you have a an incredible day @bubblyt.bsky.social love ya 🎂🥰
January 27, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Me: “Good morning my beautiful girl.”

Wife: “Are you talking to me or the dog?”

Me: “Yes.”
January 10, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Just call me avocado, because I’m a good fat.
January 8, 2025 at 12:49 AM
The fatherly urge to say “See you next year.” To everyone I speak to over the next 4 and a half days.
December 27, 2024 at 4:46 PM
“How your email finds me.”

~Fritter
December 27, 2024 at 4:06 PM
What is a song that is played at every wedding reception? I’ll start the list
-Mony Mony, Billy Idol
-The Heart of Rock & Roll, Huey Lewis and the News
December 23, 2024 at 2:53 PM
I’m a tall drink of Sortilège.
December 22, 2024 at 3:35 PM
Walking around work today with a slight limp because morning sex.
December 19, 2024 at 2:49 PM
Canada is like 1939 Poland right now. Stuck between Russia and a crazy bastard that wants to rule everything.
December 18, 2024 at 6:07 PM
She’s a 10, but she called her touque a beanie.
December 18, 2024 at 4:13 PM
My deceased uncle just sent me a friend request on FB. It IS the season for miracles.
December 18, 2024 at 3:46 PM
Reposted by NG
You expect me to bake cookies and keep them until Christmas? Good luck.
December 17, 2024 at 12:52 PM
<— Goes to escape rooms alone to enjoy a quiet nap without interruption.
December 17, 2024 at 3:21 PM
Enjoying a quiet evening snuggled on the couch watching cheesy movies and drinking a little concoction we named “Christmas Awesome Sauce”

*Oat Nog, Rum, & Amaretto.
December 17, 2024 at 1:25 AM
<— Twerks during Christmas shopping trips because what’s the point of having 2 teen girls if you can’t make them want to crawl into a hole from time to time.
December 16, 2024 at 9:31 PM
Welcome to your 40’s. Fun breakfast sounds now consist of Snap, Crackle, and Ouch.
December 16, 2024 at 3:00 PM
Sorry can’t. I have to install new furniture.
December 15, 2024 at 3:17 PM
Canadian Sex Tip #28

Sex in the woods is good.
Whispering “Who’s my good little Sasquatch” in her ear, is not.
December 13, 2024 at 2:19 PM
On one hand I wish people were more like dogs. On the other hand I’m grateful we don’t have to spin around the toilet 14 times before taking a shit.
December 12, 2024 at 2:45 AM
Canadian Sex Tip #18

Hockey sticks are not sanitary.
December 11, 2024 at 2:07 PM