Reposted by Brzeski
MORPHEUS: what if i told you... i frew up
May 26, 2025 at 2:45 AM
MORPHEUS: what if i told you... i frew up
Reposted by Brzeski
Farting in the perfume department just to feel alive
May 7, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Farting in the perfume department just to feel alive
Reposted by Brzeski
i'm gonna save the world by asking sam altman "does chatgpt have the ability to generate deez" and then he'll have to end the company because i owned him so hard
May 22, 2025 at 2:33 PM
i'm gonna save the world by asking sam altman "does chatgpt have the ability to generate deez" and then he'll have to end the company because i owned him so hard
Reposted by Brzeski
Everyone has one Mitch Hedberg joke stashed in their brain like a squirrel to sustain them whenever they need to feel joy for 30 seconds and mine is “they say the recipe for Sprite is Lemon and Lime but I tried to make it at home, there’s more to it than that”
May 23, 2025 at 1:24 AM
Everyone has one Mitch Hedberg joke stashed in their brain like a squirrel to sustain them whenever they need to feel joy for 30 seconds and mine is “they say the recipe for Sprite is Lemon and Lime but I tried to make it at home, there’s more to it than that”
Reposted by Brzeski
Reposted by Brzeski
Last week of school be like: Monday is parade float day - everyone needs to bring in fully built parade float. On Tuesday please bring in hand painted family portraits. Wednesday is the school cookie party, please bake 700 cookies…
May 19, 2025 at 11:08 AM
Last week of school be like: Monday is parade float day - everyone needs to bring in fully built parade float. On Tuesday please bring in hand painted family portraits. Wednesday is the school cookie party, please bake 700 cookies…
Reposted by Brzeski
Inventor of gloves: I’ve created a garment that can keep your hands warm and dry in all conditions without limiting range of motion!
Inventor of mittens: [super drunk] BUUUUUUUUURRRRRP
Inventor of mittens: [super drunk] BUUUUUUUUURRRRRP
May 20, 2025 at 4:18 AM
Inventor of gloves: I’ve created a garment that can keep your hands warm and dry in all conditions without limiting range of motion!
Inventor of mittens: [super drunk] BUUUUUUUUURRRRRP
Inventor of mittens: [super drunk] BUUUUUUUUURRRRRP
Reposted by Brzeski
Actually, Porky Pig represents both the bourgeoisie (bow tie) and proletariat (no pants)
May 19, 2025 at 1:45 AM
Actually, Porky Pig represents both the bourgeoisie (bow tie) and proletariat (no pants)
Reposted by Brzeski
oh hey you're awake. i got some good news for ya! well, bad news and good news. the wild dogs that were eating you finally had their fill and went to sleep. a lot more bad than good now that i hear it out loud
May 18, 2025 at 3:34 PM
oh hey you're awake. i got some good news for ya! well, bad news and good news. the wild dogs that were eating you finally had their fill and went to sleep. a lot more bad than good now that i hear it out loud
Reposted by Brzeski
Final Logo_final_v3_final(2).psd
May 15, 2025 at 5:31 PM
Final Logo_final_v3_final(2).psd
Reposted by Brzeski
ma’am i’m gonna put you on hold while i breathe into a paper bag
May 12, 2025 at 3:10 PM
ma’am i’m gonna put you on hold while i breathe into a paper bag
Reposted by Brzeski
ME: *folding laundry* ugh another sock is missing
PUPPET ON MY HAND: how does that keep happening
PUPPET ON MY HAND: how does that keep happening
May 10, 2025 at 4:48 PM
ME: *folding laundry* ugh another sock is missing
PUPPET ON MY HAND: how does that keep happening
PUPPET ON MY HAND: how does that keep happening
Reposted by Brzeski
don’t like to brag, but I often go to the hospital with my banjo to sing to the patients regardless of their condition or their constant requests that I stop
May 10, 2025 at 2:14 AM
don’t like to brag, but I often go to the hospital with my banjo to sing to the patients regardless of their condition or their constant requests that I stop
Reposted by Brzeski
Great news for those that love french kissing with wet bread in their mouths.
May 7, 2025 at 4:46 AM
Great news for those that love french kissing with wet bread in their mouths.
Reposted by Brzeski
You never pick the pope first day of conclave, makes you look desperate
May 8, 2025 at 1:04 AM
You never pick the pope first day of conclave, makes you look desperate
Reposted by Brzeski
A reminder not to store red sauce in Tupperware.
May 7, 2025 at 12:06 PM
A reminder not to store red sauce in Tupperware.
Reposted by Brzeski
[dracula slapping mosquito]
holy shit that IS annoying
holy shit that IS annoying
May 6, 2025 at 1:41 AM
[dracula slapping mosquito]
holy shit that IS annoying
holy shit that IS annoying
Reposted by Brzeski
Maybe it’s love, maybe you’ve got kidney stones. The important thing is you’re feeling something
May 3, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Maybe it’s love, maybe you’ve got kidney stones. The important thing is you’re feeling something
Reposted by Brzeski
I think about this one a lot.
May 1, 2025 at 11:52 PM
I think about this one a lot.
Reposted by Brzeski
I also think about this one a lot bsky.app/profile/stab...
Me pronouncing pineapples like Minneapolis will probably come up in divorce court
May 2, 2025 at 3:15 AM
I also think about this one a lot bsky.app/profile/stab...
Reposted by Brzeski
Me: OMG IT'S A T-REX
Zookeeper: Haha no, that's a kangaroo
Me: T-REX
Zookeeper: Sir, it's a kanga-
Me: OH SHIT IT HAS A SMALLER T-REX IN ITS FANNYPACK RUN
Zookeeper: Haha no, that's a kangaroo
Me: T-REX
Zookeeper: Sir, it's a kanga-
Me: OH SHIT IT HAS A SMALLER T-REX IN ITS FANNYPACK RUN
April 30, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Me: OMG IT'S A T-REX
Zookeeper: Haha no, that's a kangaroo
Me: T-REX
Zookeeper: Sir, it's a kanga-
Me: OH SHIT IT HAS A SMALLER T-REX IN ITS FANNYPACK RUN
Zookeeper: Haha no, that's a kangaroo
Me: T-REX
Zookeeper: Sir, it's a kanga-
Me: OH SHIT IT HAS A SMALLER T-REX IN ITS FANNYPACK RUN
Reposted by Brzeski
forgot the word barn and called it a horse house and then forgot everything except how similar the words horse and house are
May 1, 2025 at 3:54 AM
forgot the word barn and called it a horse house and then forgot everything except how similar the words horse and house are