I did this with my Rec Specs in 2002. FOH

for all those who celebrate, today is a holiday that brings joy to families everywhere, a time we can all put aside our differences and celebrate the time that Mark Sanchez ran into a butt and dropped the football

happy Butt Fumble Day, my friends

BREAKING: i've just received word from an inside source that Donald Trump's next Secretary of the Interior will be King Leopold II of Belgium. staffers in the Department of the Interior have described their mood to me as "cautiously optimistic"

Tim Walz tonight in Boston: “I feel like one of my roles in this now is to be the anti–Tommy Tuberville, to show that football coaches are not the dumbest people.” (pool report by Anjali Huynh, Boston Globe)

The important thing is that he looks like he hates being there

PAPA BEAR: someone’s been sleeping in my bed

MAMA BEAR: someone’s been sleeping in my bed

BABY BEAR: someone’s been slee-*gets hit by a car and RFK JR picks him up and throws him in the trunk and then forgets to eat him so he goes to central park and stages it to look like a bike accident*

JD Vance: "No, my family doesn't have wealth. When my pappy died, I didn't get any money, though I did come into a lot of furniture"

Was supposed to see Tenacious D last night, but Elon Musk and some no-name extremist senator have caused a kerfuffle because they're some snowflakes that can't take a joke.

I can scream into the void here, so I will. My parents both have the fox news brainworms. My dad has been this way for a while, so that's not new. But my mom has finally succumbed. This is so devastating to me. The kindness and empathy I was raised to have is no longer with them.