Brian “Cannonball” Phares
@brianphares.bsky.social
Perfectly Cromulent English Teacher/Writer/Hot Dog/Comedian/Girl Dad
the cat is #Frank. the wife is Adrienne. the kid is Josephine
Signing autographs all over #ROC #FoodBlog
the cat is #Frank. the wife is Adrienne. the kid is Josephine
Signing autographs all over #ROC #FoodBlog
no you stupid smooth brained fuck what you have to do is haul rfk before the senate and fucking remove him from office holy shit this isn't hard
November 21, 2025 at 7:37 PM
no you stupid smooth brained fuck what you have to do is haul rfk before the senate and fucking remove him from office holy shit this isn't hard
lunch with my sidekick
November 15, 2025 at 5:35 PM
lunch with my sidekick
watched construction workers pick up my neighbor’s flag and suddenly I want to buy a pickup truck for some reason
November 1, 2025 at 2:55 PM
watched construction workers pick up my neighbor’s flag and suddenly I want to buy a pickup truck for some reason
happy #halloween from the heeler family
October 31, 2025 at 10:19 PM
happy #halloween from the heeler family
Stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you happiness
October 21, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you happiness
shouting out my window at random people passing by
October 14, 2025 at 3:19 PM
shouting out my window at random people passing by
so 24 hours before saying Moore did not catch that ball off the ground the NFL said Kelce did catch this ball, cool league, this is so much fun
October 14, 2025 at 12:39 AM
so 24 hours before saying Moore did not catch that ball off the ground the NFL said Kelce did catch this ball, cool league, this is so much fun
I’m at a trampoline park for my nephew’s birthday and I didn’t realize they had super comfy couches everywhere for the tired fat adults to sit on while kids break their necks, this rules.
October 5, 2025 at 7:11 PM
I’m at a trampoline park for my nephew’s birthday and I didn’t realize they had super comfy couches everywhere for the tired fat adults to sit on while kids break their necks, this rules.
challenge system can’t come to mlb fast enough
October 3, 2025 at 12:22 AM
challenge system can’t come to mlb fast enough
another day of asking myself what the fuck is the point of an espn+ subscription
September 30, 2025 at 9:30 PM
another day of asking myself what the fuck is the point of an espn+ subscription
seems like a pretty good precedent to argue that guns today are different from guns in 1791 and we need to abolish the second amendment
September 22, 2025 at 8:30 PM
seems like a pretty good precedent to argue that guns today are different from guns in 1791 and we need to abolish the second amendment
when you’re pretty cute (and people like your kid too)
September 20, 2025 at 7:55 PM
when you’re pretty cute (and people like your kid too)
having fun grading Crucible tests
September 19, 2025 at 6:55 PM
having fun grading Crucible tests
September 15, 2025 at 12:29 PM
she literally introduced legislation with the intention of dehumanizing a colleague
September 12, 2025 at 12:17 PM
she literally introduced legislation with the intention of dehumanizing a colleague
good weekend for the #ClassroomStandings
September 8, 2025 at 2:54 PM
good weekend for the #ClassroomStandings
on the one hand the country is rapidly devolving into an authoritarian nightmare but on the other hand muppet monster cereal
August 26, 2025 at 2:53 AM
on the one hand the country is rapidly devolving into an authoritarian nightmare but on the other hand muppet monster cereal
this would end any other presidency
August 25, 2025 at 11:23 PM
this would end any other presidency
mlb commissioner: what do the fans want? how do we grow the game?
fans: end blackouts and exclusivity so we can watch whatever game we want
mlb commissioner: i heard new divisions?
fans: end blackouts and exclusivity so we can watch whatever game we want
mlb commissioner: i heard new divisions?
August 21, 2025 at 10:53 PM
mlb commissioner: what do the fans want? how do we grow the game?
fans: end blackouts and exclusivity so we can watch whatever game we want
mlb commissioner: i heard new divisions?
fans: end blackouts and exclusivity so we can watch whatever game we want
mlb commissioner: i heard new divisions?