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If Vince and Keanu kiss rn I'm 100% switching sides and rooting for them for the rest of the season #bb27
August 25, 2025 at 8:47 PM
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marriage is between a girl and her keyboard
August 13, 2025 at 9:56 PM
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AI filmmaking is peeing. It’s pooping. It’s throwing up. It’s a new kind of liquid coming out. It’s hated by the establishment. It’s what goes in the toilet. It’s wet. It’s what’s in the bathroom.
August 6, 2025 at 1:48 AM
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Was at Perry’s Stage at Lollapalooza yesterday and I got to see Chance the rapper perform up close, was cool to see representation of someone like me on a stage that big (person who likes trans porn on twitter)
August 4, 2025 at 4:28 AM
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absolutely bodied by luxembourgish
April 21, 2025 at 12:54 PM
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BEVOR IRGENDWER FRAGT! ich habe gestern Ostern mit meiner Familie verbracht und war NICHT im Vatikan.
April 21, 2025 at 9:17 AM
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I'm starting to embrace the loser mindset. 100% failmaxxing. Dudpilled flopcore. Entering my fizzle era. Girl it's giving last place.
April 19, 2025 at 2:51 AM
google maps finally added the Detroit People Mover route to the map, and it looked... familiar.
April 10, 2025 at 6:54 PM
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Asked the waiter for coke and he asked if fent's ok??
April 7, 2025 at 10:31 PM
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if halloween is gay christmas then 9/11 is the gay 4th of july
March 14, 2025 at 3:19 AM
trying to talk football with a bunch of nerds
January 19, 2025 at 5:25 AM
lions what the fuck was that
January 19, 2025 at 3:39 AM
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me in my 20s: it’s saturday night! time to go get drunk and party!!!
me in my 40s: ah, saturday night. time to enjoy an evening with my family and perhaps enjoy a drink or two
me in my 8470s: huh. i think i might be god
me in my 98580s: yep i’m god for sure
December 15, 2024 at 3:23 AM
happy friday the 13th to my beautiful daughters
December 13, 2024 at 8:57 PM
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Bashar al-Assad’s biggest mistake? Not going on Joe Rogan.
December 7, 2024 at 8:13 PM
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a cloak believed to belong to the shooter transformed into a dozen beautiful white doves and flew away, Authorities said,
December 8, 2024 at 1:32 AM
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time was on twitter you could make a cask of amontillado joke and everyone would eat that stuff up. people loved getting the reference. they’re probably expecting one at the end of this post. there’s not. but i can show you where one is
November 19, 2023 at 12:00 AM
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my first new episode of pretty good in seven years, now free to watch for everybody:

THE HISTORY OF SLIPPING ON BANANA PEELS
The history of slipping on banana peels | Pretty Good, episode 14
YouTube video by Secret Base
youtu.be
December 7, 2024 at 5:39 PM
Reposted by blue
bladee lyrics: ennhh, ask the nurse to tuck me in tight, i know i'll lose the next fight, human check engine light

bladee clone lyrics: unghlhh, bitches in my pokedex, need a bitch with skinny legs, need a bitch to fuck me sex
December 5, 2024 at 5:57 PM
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I've always aspired to be like James Bond, a man who owns a car and has had sex
December 5, 2024 at 8:12 PM
just saw a car with the license plate "NEW OJ" and I am sorely disappointed that it wasn't a white Ford Bronco
December 5, 2024 at 7:56 PM
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In my opinion "Twitter" is whichever place most embodies the poster's spirit, and that's here now
November 17, 2024 at 2:35 AM
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if you’re new here, those of us who’ve been on bluesky a while have a LOT of lore to catch you up on that is frankly not very interesting. we’re gonna try to tell you about something called “alf hog” and you’ll be like “wait, that’s it? huh. alright. well, sounds like you had fun.” i can't wait
November 17, 2024 at 4:51 PM
we're so back
November 16, 2024 at 3:16 AM